Shit. Shit. Double shit.
So, um, apparently LCB has found my blog. (THAT was an interesting phone convo.) He likes that he has a special nickname but wishes it was something like "Mr. Big." I told him not to flatter himself.
Oh yeah. And we had lunch today. And you know what? It was really, really great. It was my FRIEND Shawn, not the LCB Shawn. The Shawn who can STILL make me laugh more than any other guy I've ever dated. Did it make me sad to see him? Maybe a little, perhaps. But only because I realized how much I've missed him being in my life the last couple of weeks.
I KNOW that you guys don't understand why I stay friends with exes--and probably especially in THIS case. In fact, in my "I miss Shawn" post, I said that it sucked that the way we ended overshadowed all the good. And maybe it will always be that way, whether I like it or not. Maybe our friendship will never be quite the way it was--I mean, I DID take a pretty hard emotional punch to the gut and a bitch-slap to the face (and then a kick to head)--figuratively, of course. And with everything that went down--yeah, of course, I see him differently. But the way I look at it is--he can't cheat on our friendship, ya know? (LOL, does that make sense?) He never once let me down as a friend, and he proved that again today.
(And yes, this truly is platonic. He's still dating that girl from work. Do I still care about him? Well, DUH. When you feel that way about someone, it doesn't just go away after 2 weeks. But in all honesty, being with him today was kind of the best of both worlds--I had my friend Shawn back, but without all of the stress and beating-my-head-against-the-wall of a "relationship.")
Shit, I haven't figured it all out yet, either. But maybe I can do that while we're mini-golfing next week. ;)