Monday, October 29, 2007

Happy birth--oh screw it, I'm old

Having said that, it was a good day.
(Oooh: First, Nik had her surgery today. It went well, and she should be home tomorrow. She was out of surgery early afternoon.)

I woke up around 11:30 (Yeah, I got up early for the big day. We didn't have school today so normally I would have slept in a lot longer). After a while, I headed out to the Penney salon where I got a brand new haircut to go with my brown-as-of-last-night-hair; I also waxed my moustache and unibrow (it had been a while). My hair turned out cute, shorter than it's been in a while but kind of shag-bob-y.

Then, I headed out to a mall in a nearby city for the highlight of my day. See, there is something I've always wanted to do and haven't had the chance to do it. So, I figured, today is my birthday, why the hell not?

So I went to the Build-a-Bear workshop.

It was FUN, too. I'm kind of addicted now. I totally want to go back. The lady seemed a bit taken aback at first when she realized I was there by myself, shopping FOR ME, but she went with the flow. You get to stuff your bear and put in his/her heart (which you hold up to your own as you make a wish and put it in your new bear friend. "I always get a little choked up at that part," Mom told me on the phone, waiting for me to mock her as I usually do. "Actually, I was a bit verklempt myself," I admitted. "But I wasn't going to break down at the Build-a-Bear place). Then you get to buy an outfit (you don't have to, but c'mon--that's what MAKES the bear).

I debated for a long time. I liked Halloween outfits for my bday and NASCAR shirts and "I love America" shirts--but I'm very happy with the way my bear turned out. And, without further ado, I introduce you to Hero Bear.

Anyway. There was something really refreshing and relaxing and rewarding about going to a "kid place" like that on a birthday that puts you firmly in your 30s. It was just what I needed. And, frankly, I can't wait till the Christmas outfits come out.

Let's see....I went home and got ready and headed out for dinner with Mike (a friend) who really wanted to take me out to dinner for my bday. I asked him if anyone else was going and he said no, just the two of us. It was cool, though. He was one of the first people I met last year (and actually saw the Bad Jen around Christmas), but we've just now gotten to be better friends since...well, since I became medicated, now that I think about it.


Anyway, I also got a nice bday care package from Renee (tell Brent that the lip gloss tastes as good as he thought it would) and something AWESOME from my roomie....he took this awesome photo that's hanging in his room and I'm always admiring it. Well, when I wandered out to the living room, I saw that he had made a copy of it and framed and matted it for me. Wow.

So that was my day. Oh, and next weekend we're supposed to go out (a big group of us from work) to a strip club for my bday. (Don't ask.)

The fun never ends.

Saturday, October 27, 2007


Things have been incredibly hectic this last week. First, it's report card time so we've been putting in a lot of extra work for that. Second, we had our 5th grade social this week and we had to plan and hold that on Thursday night. Last, of course, was our big change.

The kids were finally told on Thursday afternoon. They had bigwigs in to do the dirty work (although I would have preferred to do it myself). Once the kids realized what was going on, that they would now be with me all day, they let out a big cheer--so THAT was cool.

However, it's like the first day of school all over again--including the planning to go along with it. There's so much to do and I've been pretty stressed out. I'm more-or-less ready, although I do have to read and study the math and science lesson plans. (And, since 3 other teachers now use MY social studies and lang. arts lesson plans, I have to write them in a lot more detail.) I am excited, though--and I even bought some science and math posters for my room. =-)

And let's not forget my surprise party--actually, parties. Yes, 2 different classes threw me surprise parties. My homeroom's party was on Wednesday, a day earlier than I thought--so Nik was right, they DID surprise me. The menu was a beautiful cake (with my name spelled wrong, LOL), soda (note to those back home: I say "soda" now) and potato chips. Yum. ;) On Thursday, one of the other homerooms surprised me right after lunch (and I use the term "surprised" loosely, of course). They decorated the room in paper chains and balloons--and completed the party with candy and soda. (Gotta love a party thrown by 5th graders, LOL.) I took pics on my cell phone so they're kind of blurry, but here's a pic of the cake from my homeroom (you can see the chips in the background).

Add to all of this the breakup with Dave on Monday and--yeah, lots going on. =-)

This coming week, we have conferences, our first week in our "new"classes, I have a P.R. party next weekend and there's also the Fall Festival at school. OH, and we're supposed to go out for my bday next weekend (people were doing Halloween things this weekend).

In closing, here's a random pic I took this week.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

New Mitch-ism

I love him because sometimes it takes a second to hit you.

"I don't have any children, but if I had a baby I would have to name it. So I would buy a baby-naming book... or I would invite someone over who had a cast on."

I don't know, maybe it's just me and my rather dry sense of humor.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Go to Eric's blog (EA Henson)

He has another one of their Taste Fest things up (this one for Halloween). It's worth it for the picture of a Screwdriver made with black vodka alone, but his commentary on the pictures (and the pics themselves) make this the highlight of my--well, hour, if nothing else. No, seriously, it's hysterical. His "stroke" comment on one pic had me in literal hysterics; I was laid back on the bed with tears running down my face. That boy gets funnier every year.

Or maybe it's the fact that my lithium was just upped. AGAIN. 2nd time? Or is it the third? She upped it again due to my recent quasi-high time. Now,I'm just about maxed I should be (relatively) good from here on out. Either that, or I out-crazied my lithium.

Last: my student-arranged b-day party is Thursday. I know this because they told me.

They're about as tactful as Mom, I tell ya.

I was going to schedule a test for that afternoon and J. said, "NO!! That's when we're having your--" and here he falters, realizing that he can't "give it away"--"" (Yeah, nice cover, J.) I gave him a faux-confused look and he said, full of 5th grade mysteriousness: "YOU'LL see."


Monday, October 22, 2007


So. Up till now, we've operated kind of like middle school--the kids rotate to the different 5th grade teachers for math, science, etc.

Well, we (along with 4th grade, who used the same system) got called into a meeting today. BASICALLY, each grade is losing a teacher, those kids are being filtered into the remaining classes, and, starting next week, WE'RE GOING TO BE SELF-CONTAINED.

That means I keep my kids all day, like the kind of classrooms we remember in elementary school. Thus, I also teach ALL SUBJECTS, starting Tuesday (we don't have school on Monday, which is nice 'cuz that's my birthday--did I mention that?). =-)

Yeah. This is a big deal to me, since I've never actually TAUGHT all subjects.

Part of me is okay with it, but there are 5th graders I love who I'm not going to have as students anymore. So that sucks. I did, however, get rid of some of the kids I can't stand, and I got to keep some real sweethearts. (You should have seen us today. We were like the NBA draft, making deals and trading kids.) However, there are now certain kids who drive me bonkers whom I have ALL DAY LONG.

Soo....I don't know. We don't have a lot of time to get used to this. There will be fallout from some parents, as class sizes are bigger, some kids will be very upset and some parents preferred certain teachers that their kids may not have anymore). We aren't telling the kids till last hour on Thursday, when a letter goes home (no school for them the next day; it's an in-service on Friday). This will be HARD for some of them, especially kids who got close to a particular teacher). BUT, all in all, I have a decent group of kids. Tuesday, though, will be like starting the year all over again. But hey, that's not always a bad thing. least I still have a job.

Friday, October 19, 2007

I'm in the money

So I received notification this week that I was officially accepted into WGU's master's program, and then today I received even better news: they're giving me a $5,000 scholarship ($1,000 per semester). It won't cover everything, of course, but it sure puts a dent in it. Assuming I can get financial aid for the rest of it, I'm good to go. And I'm SO EXCITED.

Here's the program:
Master of Arts- English Language Learning/English as a Second Language (PK-12)
Earn your master's and qualify for a high-demand English Language Learning (ELL) or English as a Second Language (ESL) teaching endorsement. The M.A. in English Language Learning/English as a Second Language prepares PK-12 educators to teach effectively in ELL or ESL settings and provide curricular leadership in their schools and school systems. In many states, the degree leads to an endorsement in ELL or ESL, which are in high-demand.
(<----- especially here in southern Florida)

See, due to FL state law, if you have any ESL kids in your classes at all (which, since we're so far south, is pretty much all of us), you HAVE to earn the ESL endorsement for your teaching license. So, starting this summer, I've been taking a series of courses towards this certification. That's what got me thinking about going back to school NOW for my master's. Hell, I'm taking classes anyway. I might as well be putting them towards something. Which is when I started doing research into schools with ESL-type masters' and found WGU. And it runs a little differently, because it's competency-based. They have classes, of course, and I'll have to take most of them. But I'll essentially be able to "test out" of the WGU classes that I'm taking now, for free, through my district. In other words, if I'm taking ESL Methods for Elementary Students now for school, and WGU offers the same basic class in their master's program, then all I have to do is pass the test and prove that I know the stuff, and I don't have to take it again. Saves me time AND money. And since it's online, I can work at my own pace. I'm hoping to be done in a year, year and a half. (Remember, I can work on it full time this summer.) I said, this all depends on financial aid. Keep your fingers crossed!!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me

My 5th graders started planning my "surprise" birthday party today.

I know this because 5th graders are spectacularly bad at planning "surprise" birthday parties.

You'll notice that I keep putting "surprise" in quotes. That's because they have the subtlety of a jackhammer and the covertness of....let's say the Stay-Puffed Marshamllow Man from Ghostbusters. (I dunno. He just doesn't seem like he'd be very covert.)

But, I'm playing along and acting all suspicious and in-the-dark. Despite J. yelling over to K. at the next table (WHILE they're supposed to be working on a social studies group project), "Hey K. what are you bringing for Miss K's party?!" (I told you), I still walked over and mock-suspiciously asked, "What's going on here?"

"Nothing," they said with their version of a straight face, by which I mean they were grinning like freakin' jack-o-lanters as they covered their "secret" papers.

"Okay, then," I slowly said, walking away, "as long as you're sure." At which point they would LITERALLY cackle with glee at they reveled in their sneakiness.

It's really pretty cute. But it's REALLY hard to act oblivious to a party being planned right under your nose.

(And no, I didn't TELL them to throw me a party--but they did see pictures of last year's wild 7th grade bash.)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I won! *

A Glamour magazine giveaway!! I don't enter EVERY month but occasionally something catches my eye. Well, today I came home to a decent size box from Glamour; inside I found THIS

Yeah, I'm geeked. I'm gonna bust it out tonight.

*Either that, or I bought it on eBay during my spree and just forgot. ;) No, I'm kidding, Mom. I won it.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Follow Up

I received another message from Matthew's mom today (although it hurts to see it come in because it still says "You have received a message from Matthew," and EVERY TIME I well up because I SO wish that were true). Anyway, it said:

Jen, I tried to email you a message but it would not go thru--Am I missing something. I would love to keep in touch and send you some pictures of the beautiful stone we had made for Matt if I could get your address again. Thank you

I suspect we're going to develop kind of an on-going communication, which is cool. As a lot of you know, I became very close to Thomas's mom and talk to her more than I talk to him somedays. When you're an Angel, you sometimes need to be there for the families just as much, if not more, than for the actual soldier. And if ANYTHING I say helps to relieve some of her grief, even just a little, then I know that I made Grimm smile, too. I told him I'd always have his back.

On a slightly lighter note: I was at Target tonight (Holla!) and the cashier said, "You know, it's the end of my shift, and I do believe that this is the oddest, most random combination of items I've seen today."

I looked down. "Oh," I said, "Yeah. I came here for the coffee maker, and then I decided I needed some mouthwash *, too."

She laughed. "Okay," she said, " 'Cuz I was wondering what on earth would have made you
suddenly jump up and say, 'You know what I need right now? Mouthwash and a coffee maker!"

Maybe you had to be there, but it was funny.

*New citrus-burst Listerine--just as effective as the original, but less intense

Monday, October 15, 2007

Grandma died

Grandma K passed away today, very unexpectedly, a few months after my grandpa. But as we all know, that's how it goes sometimes.

Since Grandpa died, Grandma's been talking to him. She's so sure and convincing and emphatic that the nurses often found themselves turning around to make sure no one was behind them. She said he kept saying he was waiting for her and to "hurry up." I guess she did.

She had late-stage Alzheimers but otherwise was in pretty good health. Here's part of the email--yes, again, I found out about the death of a grandparent via email--that Dad sent around 8 pm.

"She went quietly and very unexpectedly. I was talking to the Nurses this morning. She had been fighting a cold, but was apparently coming back strong. They told me not to worry..I should keep to my plan to visit in a few weeks. Then as near as I can tell, she just went to sleep this afternoon and didn’t wake up. I could hear the nurses in the backround crying when they called me. They liked her. "

Dad's doing as well as can be expected. I was on the phone with him for a while tonight. As some of you know, Dad doesn't show emotion and neither do we around him. So I had to get through the convo with no tears, etc. I did it, too, because that's how we roll. My voice shook a few times though, and I found myself squeezing my hands into fists and digging my nails into my palms.

Grandpa, as much as I love him, was quite the ornery b*stard sometimes. Grandma, though, was truly a sweet, sweet woman.

She didn't really know Dad, or us, in the last couple of years. My prayer is that, as she's restored to a perfect body and MIND, she looks down at us and is proud of who her granddaughters have become.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Mitch Hedberg

...was (is) my favorite comedian. He was the guy on Comedy Central who had shaggy hair, usually spoke with his eyes cast on the ground and was very monotone. He came out with some of the greatest one-liners EVER. Mitch died a couple of years ago--officially due to heart problems, though he had had a drug problem as well.

Anyway, I found a website that generates some random Mitch-isms. I'm going to start posting them occasionally because they're hysterical.


Onions make me sad, alot of people don't realize that. When I'm cutting onions I'm sad... the plight of onions has been sad. But people don't realize I'm actually crying. They think I'm just reacting.


The depressing thing about tennis is no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're f**king relentless.
Just another manic Sunday

You Bangles' (the group, not the team) fans will get what I did there with the title. I thought it was pretty clever. ;)

Anyway...just a week or so after Dave and I got back together, I'm a bit "up." ("You picked a helluva time to come back," I told him.) I'm okay but this whole weekend I've been out of whack.

He could tell as soon as I walked through the door yesterday. I was telling him about my day and it quickly became apparent. Here's what I've been to:

1) Was up all night on Friday
2) Was back up at 8 am on Sat. (and for those who truly know me, THAT'S a red flag right there
3) Was on the computer all night, doing research for colleges, setting up my online billpay through Fifth Third (who DOESN'T do that at 3 am), and playing on eBay (see #4)
4) Went on a bit of a spending spree on eBay but nothing that will really hurt me; it'll just make things a little tighter this month. I told Dave I "bought some shoes" on eBay, but something about the way I said it grabbed his attention. "How many?" he asked.
5) We were watching The Sopranos when I felt the need to clean, RIGHT NOW. Cleaned his kitchen floors--which, of course, is another deviation for me, LOL
6) Talking really quickly (which was the first thing he noticed)
7) Was online in the middle of the night on Sat while he was in bed (P.R. stuff--in fact, I got 2 parties booked)
8) Was up again this morning at 7 after sleeping a few hours

Still, he was great. He was patient with me and enjoyed our night and just stayed on alert for any signs of worsening. We didn't go out and I limited myself to one glass of wine. We played Monopoly to keep my mind busy and I got him to go out for a walk with me, too, which helped. All in all, it was okay. Plus, he got to see how relatively easy it is to keep me just a bit hyper and not UberCrazyBitch.

I was due (every 3 months, it happens) but this WAS a mild one, really--and once I'm on the meds longer, they won't come as often (I hope). As it is, this was just a "hypomanic" thing and not a full blown episode.

I gotta tell you, guys--recognizing the symptoms as soon as they start, knowing what to do about it, recognizing and avoiding things that can set me off or make it's AWESOME. Why didn't I do this sooner?

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Financially savvy

Yes, me.

Well, I'm getting there.

As most of you know, money management has never been my strong suit. I have credit issues (big'uns) and I'm very much an impulse buyer, randomly going out and spending a good deal of my "discretionary" income on crap I don't need, not leaving enough left over for bills (so I guess it wasn't discretionary, huh? But seriously, when I got paid, I'd go buy fun stuff first and then pay bills with whatever was left over instead of the other way around. And saving? Fuggetaboutit! (In hindsight, a lot of this financial behavior could be due to the BP, since that's actually a BIG red flag/warning sign, but either way, I've been quite sucky with the finanical resources).

Good thing, then, that my roommate is a financial planner. (A STONED financial planner, but a financial planner nonetheless.) And he's good, too. So far, in the last month or so, I've opened up a savings account, signed up for auto billpay so my bills are paid very first thing, started tracking where I've been hemorrhaging money (note to self: stay the hell out of CVS); reorganized my 401K and my diversification plan (LOL, is that a word?) and even started researching which stocks I want to invest in when I've saved up enough (apparently, THAT'S the way to make money).

I also took some advice from the new Cosmo about how to "get rich quick" (saving strategies)--the best one there is to transfer balances to a 0% card to pay off principal faster, even if it's only 6 months or so; unfortunately, right now my credit is still kind of crappy so I can't get a "good" card yet. But I will. In the meantime, I'm checking my mail for other CC offers--even a LOWER one is better than what I have now.

By the way: how many of you have a savings account? Now, how many of you have an INTEREST-EARNING savings account? Do you know you can do that ONLINE?? I didn't until Brad showed me the way. Check out or for 4-5% interest yield rate thingies. =-)'s is slightly higher but Brad recommends ING and frankly, I liked their site better, too. Much easier to open an account. Hey, if your money is sitting there, it might as well work for you. And, of course, this is now a "bill" that comes out of every paycheck and gets deposited right into savings.

None of this is major and you probably do a lot of it already, but if not--hell, start with the savings account. No minimum opening balance, minimum deposits, etc. And it's a huge plus that it's not linked right to my "regular" account, where I can see the money every day...I'm hoping that this makes it easier for me to forget about it/reduces temptation so that it can really grow.

I don't have a lot of debt--credit card, Penney's card--until you add in my student loan and now my car loan (gulp--but at least this really was a valid, necessary purchase). Stilll, my credit needs a'fixin' from prior financial decisions, and this is the time. Trust me--I'm still getting paid jack shit as a teacher, but when I saw how much I was leaking each month on NOTHING, I almost had a heart attack. Time to put this money to use!! First up: credit cards.

I'm geeked.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007


Since many of you already know, due to days of soul-searching and internal debate, but--

Dave and I are back together.

Yeah. Some of ya didn't see THAT coming, huh?

Let's just say that a phone call to get the rest of my stuff turned into a reconciliation.

He's a big butt sometimes, but hey --so am I. ;) And I love him, very much. And we've both changed a lot in the last few months. He's been reading up on BP (a plus by itself) and vows to stand by me, good AND bad. He'll be there during the "episodes" and more importantly, he wants to be actively involved to prevent us from getting to that stage, as much as possible. Did he handle this whole thing perfectly? Hell no. But this is a big deal and if he needed a couple months to adjust to the news, so be it. Furthermore, he said he wanted to make sure I was getting help for ME, and not for him--and I believe him (because I know myself). I was hesitant at first, and more than a little sad to give up my yummy Former Marine (who was quite understanding)--but I do believe that we're coming back together stronger than ever before.

And if I'm wrong? Well, you can bet that I'm keeping FM on speed dial. ;)

And a special shout-out to the Girl Tribunal. ;)
Happy Halloween and Happy Birthday

Here's my costume this year. The kids'll love it.

Yes, it's 3:30 am and I'm up. My doc has me on a new anti-d. Very effective but clearly insomnia-inducing.

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISSY!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Who's the dumbass?

Lohan or the guy writing the headline?

Lohan says rehab was 'sobering'

Monday, October 08, 2007

Big news coming....

Give me a day or two to be sure. I'll be in touch. ;)

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Grad school and my daughter

(No, my daughter isn't old enough for grad school yet. =-) Those are just the two topics in this post.)

First, my daughter: I talked to her late last night on the phone for like an hour. It was really, really cool. Seriously, this is about as good as I could have hoped for things to turn out, as far as our relationship goes. She cracks me up, too. For example:

Her: "I'm gonna marry a Jamaican midget."
Me (understandably): "HUH?"
Her: "Well, I love Jamaican guys because of their accents, and midgets--well, midgets are just freakin' AWESOME--so what's the obvious solution? Marry a Jamaican midget!"

LOL. (She's 14, almost 15.)

Second: I'm going to be going to graduate school for my master's soon. I'm doing this for 3 reasons:
1) I already owe so much in student loans that really, what's another 10K or so? I'll be paying on them the rest of my life anyway.
2) Getting my master's will allow me to boost my paltry teacher's salary to a slightly LESS paltry one. This, in turn, will actually HELP me to pay back my loans more quickly. Either that, or buy new clothes.
3) From the time I was old enough to understand what a master's WAS, I always promised myself that someday I would get one, too. It's my personal goal to achieve at least the same level of education that both my parents did.

I've been researching (I am, after all, the queen of research) both area schools as well as online universities, and I've applied to one of each--Florida Gulf Coast U. here in Ft. Myers and Western Governors U., based out of Salt Lake City. Price, program and reputation were the three main factors that narrowed down my original 6 or so selections.

Both of these schools will cost about the same amount (although I've already applied for a scholarship at the online one and I'm in the process of applying for a grad school tuition waver at FGCU--they're very competitive, though, and with my luck I'll make "too much" to qualify, since I don't have to eat twigs and leaves or whatever the requirements are to qualify for "need-based" scholarships these days. Hell, even with I was making $25K and decided to return to school to be a teacher, I didn't even qualify for need-based LOANS. However, if I could start THIS year, before the new FAFSAs are filed--which means I'd have to go with WGU--I might qualify for slightly more that first term. My 1040 LAST year was even lower than $25K because I had been working at Tutor Time for the first part of the year, until I moved down here and started teaching. My new FAFSA, while still far from Daddy Warbucks-territory, will still be higher than my current one, thereby cutting down AGAIN on any aid I'm qualified for. I can still get loans, of course, but I was hoping for some "free money", too.

I like FGCU because it's a "real" school and it's very well known here in the area; however, I like WGU because you can work at your own pace, however fast or slow that may be, and--best of all--IT'S ALL ONLINE. As many of you know, I keep weird hours, so if I'm up at like 3 am on the weekend, I can "go to class," rather than having to sit in a classroom for 3 hours twice a week or whatever. So I'm actually kind of leaning towards WGU, assuming I can get that scholarship out of them ($1000 a term but it would make a big difference).

So we'll see.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Parental Advisory

There's a furniture company here in town named Badcock.

Isn't that an oxymoron?

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

A little of everything

  • Katey took Blake (my nephew) to a geneticist this week. Apparently, his cerebral palsy is hereditary-- a 1 in 4 chance. I don't know yet if it's on Nick's side or ours, but if it's OURS it's certainly something to keep in mind. I'll have to decide if I want to have more kids someday--and if I have one already who's "okay," that means my chances of having a CP baby increase with each kid I have. Kind of scary.
  • I saw Former Marine again last night. I went over to his house and we got dinner and a movie. I think I was a little TOO overzealous with my "no funny business" mandate prior to agreeing to go over there, because once I got arrived he had "my" spot picked out (the couch) and "his" spot (down the hall and to the left, LOL). But you know what? He was a total gentleman and I had a blast. In fact, I even initiated a bit of "friendliness" with HIM since he was so good at respecting my boundries.
  • I think he likes me, too, which is amazing considering the DUMB ASS THING I said last night. We were going to a Peruvian restaraunt and he said "You know what that means, right?" and all indignant-like I replied, "Uh, YEAH. It's food from PERUVIA. Duh." He literally fell off the chair from laughing so hard. "What do you teach again?" he asked when he finally regained control. "Sdjjjjdj," I muttered. "What was that?" he asked. "Social studies," I repeated, at which point he went into another episode. But hey--in my defense, there are a LOT of little countries that no one really knows and "Peruvia" SOUNDS like a real place.
  • OOOH, I have another Former Marine story and then I'm done. This is weird, though. He wanted to see me on Monday night but I had an appointment with my drug doctor. So I told him I couldn't, I had an appointment. Sounded nice and generic, right? "Oh yeah?" he asked. "What kind of appointment?"

"Doctor's," I said. "No big deal."

"Oh," he said. "You're bipolar, huh?"

I almost drove off the road. "What makes you say that?" I asked as casually as I could.

"You said you're heading out to Matlacha, right?" he said. "That's where all the bipolar people go, from what I hear. There's a big clinic there."

LOL. Now mind you, he was saying this jokingly--but it WOULD have been a good time to just say, "Actually, yeah, I do have it but it's under control and not really a big deal," but I was just FROZEN.

Then last night, when I was with him, he was telling me a story about his ex-roommate, and somehow we got on the subject of a friend of hers who--you guessed it--was bipolar. LOL. It's ALL AROUND ME with this guy. But she was on disability because of it; hers was very severe.

THEN, later that same night, while we were all cuddled up on the couch and stuff, a commercial came on about having a friend with mental illlness. I actually looked up at the ceiling like, "Is this a SIGN?" But I couldn't tell him. He kind of snorted when the commercial came on...and I get the feeling that it's not so much that he judges them (or "us," I guess I should say), but rather that all of his experiences with people with these types of issues have all been negative AND much more severe cases.

They say on the BP boards that you'll know when and how to tell someone, almost instinctively, and I think that's true. Sometimes it's best to tell them right away--to do it right away, to get it over with, to act like it's no big deal--and to find out if they're gonna run, because it's better to have them do it right away. But sometimes, it IS better to just proceed with things and bring it up later, down the road, once you start building kind of a history and foundation. And honestly, in this case, I truly think it's better to wait for him to really get to know me and care about me (if we ever get that far, even); I think that will help him to accept the news--seeing how "normal" (shut up) I am, and how, generally speaking, this really DOESN'T affect my life.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Are you freakin' kidding me?

"LONDON (AFP) - Tickets for the Spice Girls' comeback concert in London sold out in just 38 seconds, the show's organisers announced on Monday. "