Quite possibly, the biggest 'tard moment of my life. No, seriously.
Just moments ago, I finished loading the dishwasher and was rinsing out the sink with that spray-hose thingie. As I replacing it back into its holder, my finger accidentally hit the nozzle and I blasted myself in the face.
Now this, by itself, wouldn't be that bad. It's happened to everyone, right? (Maybe not, but that's what I'm telling myself, anyway.) HERE is what made it so bad:
I then continued to spray myself in the face for a solid 10 seconds.
I don't know if it was the shock of the cold water virtually bitch-slapping me in the face or what, but I froze. My brain shut down. For normal people, the ensuing thought process would go something like this: "Cold water. In face. Me no likey. TAKE FINGER OFF TRIGGER." For me, though: it was like my brain went incommunicado with my limbs. No such message was sent. In fact, no message was relayed whatsoever.
Which is why I just stood there and blasted myself in the face, choking and sputtering like someone had just thrown me overboard, for 10 seconds.
FINALLY, my brain wired the following message to my hand: "Hey, dumbass. TAKE FINGER OFF TRIGGER." And I did. By this time, my shirt was drenched, my hair was soaked, and I had a small flood on my kitchen floor.
And that's when I started laughing my ass off.