Flight had worst turbulance ever. Lots of jerks & sudden drops. i finally threw up my arms coaster-style and said "whooo!" Ppl laughed; attndants not so much

Oops, I did it again

Okay, so NO BIG DEAL AT ALL, MOM, but I might be back in a sling again (and by "might," I mean, "I am"). LOL. My crazy doc put me back on lithium, which can fuck with your balance....yadda yadda yadda, I fell on my right arm over the weekend. I finally went in to the doctor today, and I have a SLIGHT, VERY SLIGHT, MOTHER, fracture to my right elbow, and the only reason he's worried is because it's the one I broke a year ago. He gave me the sling just to MAKE SURE it doesn't get any worse, but as you may remember from last year, I barely wore the damn thing even when my elbow was outright broken, so I can't imagine I'll be wearing it very much now. ;) However, as of tonight (Monday), it does hurt like a bitch, so I'll wear it the next couple of days, and I'm SURE I'll be fine--like I said, he wouldn't even have worried about it that much if I didn't have a "history" with this elbow, and he said that because I broke it I'll always be more "susceptible" (ooh, big word) to injury in this area, and he did say to expect some "discomfort" when I fly home on Wednesday (because one thing I did notice, even after I had healed this winter, was that the altitude hurt my elbow like a mofo), and he ALSO picked up on the "arthritis" in my elbow (thanks, bitch, cuz I need ANOTHER reminder of how old I am)....this is a really long sentence, LOL. Anyway, I'm fine. I just have a sling again for when I need it over the next couple of weeks.

BECAUSE I'M OLD AND MY BONES ARE MORE FRAGILE.

Mother fucker, I'm going to need one of those "I've fallen and I can't get up" things pretty soon.

Fuck.

Color me blind

When Mis and the boys were here, we realized that I was unable to differentiate yellow from orange (I swore upside down that a Ford Mustang was yellow; Missy, Donovan, Anthony, and 2 innocent bystanders that I accosted in the Coldstone parking lot all told me it was orange).

At the wedding last night, it happened again. A new friend and I were cattily watching a particular girl grinding out on the dance floor.

"...unlike that hooker in the green dress," New Friend commented.

"No kidding," I agreed. And then: "--wait. Green?"

New Friend looked at me oddly. "Yeah...."

"Her dress is green?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Might one call it...blue?"

New Friend looked back out at the dance floor. "No, it's definitely green." **

"With blue undertones?" I asked hopefully.

The fact that this happened twice in the last couple of weeks kind of threw me off. Is this something new? Or have I always been like this and it's just now becoming more obvous; perhaps it's worsening? I've always been virtually unable to discern navy from black but hell, who doesn't? This extension to yellow/orange and green/blue is new to me. Can one GO color blind or are they always that way? (FYI: color blindness, unlike what many people may think or assume, does NOT mean that those affected only see black, white and gray. They can often see color, but the hue--or "degree" of color--may be skewed.)

At any rate, it's not a huge deal. I can see colors and, in general, can tell yellow from orange or
green from blue (at least I think so, LOL). It's just odd that it's becoming more frequent.

** I surveyed many other wedding guests last night, and they all immediately said "Green." So it wasn't a matter of the dress being a blue-green "in-between" color; we're not talking a po-tay-to /po-tawt-to situation here.

PS--I've done some research, and it's much more rare for a woman to be colorblind than a man. "For a woman to be color deficient, her father must be colorblind and her mother colorblind or be a carrier." And I'm pretty sure my dad isn't colorblind. So...my eyes just suck, I guess. Probably because I'm getting so damn old.

Just wed

I went to a wedding last night. It was pretty much my ideal dream wedding.

To begin with, it was on the beach. The bride came down a huge staircase (to that newer version of "Somewhere over the rainbow"--you've heard it in a million commercials), walked down a boardwalk-type bridge and then came out onto the beach. She got to wear a beautiful wedding dress BUT didn't have to worry about girly, uncomfortable shoes. It's the best of both worlds--Holla!

Her groom met her here.


It was a small (60ish people), informal, relaxed wedding.

I loved it.

Congrats, Kelly and Rich!

Are you my (baby) daddy?

I had the weirdest dream last night, one that I HAD to share with you all. I found out I was pregnant--and that it was twins. And that part was SO real, the pregnancy part. I remember flipping out when the nurse first told me ("I can't even take care of myself, I'm not ready to be a mother!"), I remember telling my family, I remember telling my friends ("Hey, Gang Bang is knocked up! What a surprise!" LOL--actually, that part may very well happen someday, ha ha), I even remember interviewing for the right doctor (my decision was based on who made the best pizza--which, of course, is how ALL dedicated, protective, nurturing moms-to-be choose the person who will deliver their precious children).

When she told me I was pregnant, though, the nurse also informed me that the babies were part Irish. (How she picked up on their ethnicity from a SONOGRAM is beyond me, but go with it--it's a dream, bitches, not CSI.) When I stated that I wasn't Irish, she looked at me as if I was a dullard and stated the obvious: "Well...then their father must be, right?" And that's when it hit me--I didn't KNOW who the dad was. I actually hadn't even thought of him up until that point.

So I began the search for their father. And no, this wasn't a Maury Povich, "who my baby daddy because I've slept with seven men in the last 24 hours so it could be anybody" type of search, either. It was--it's hard to explain--more of a "looking into the future, who will the father of my children be" kind of search. Men would come into the picture and I'd look at them and say "No, it's not you" and then they'd just kind of fade away and I continued on my journey until the next man would appear. (I *thought* I'd found him at one point, but then at the last minute I asked, "Wait, are you Irish?", he shook his head no, I said "Son of a BITCH!" and continued my search. Even in my dreams, I have the mouth of a trucker.)

Finally, right before I woke up, I found him. He stood in front of me and I looked up at him and said "It's you!" He said yes and reached down to take my hand. ('Cuz I, for some reason, was sitting on a step...probably exhausted from my search--or else full from all the pizza, LOL.)

And then I woke up, incredibly pissed off because I never got a look at his face. But at least I found him.

(I'm glad that my biological clock isn't ticking much, or anything.)

Heartwrenching

I don't care what you thought or how you felt about Michael Jackson, this moment at the end of his memorial service should have been like a kick to the stomach.



We only saw and knew a very, very small part of Michael, but we have to remember that there are 3 children who are going through an emotional nighmare right now. Losing a parent is heartbreaking at any age, but to have it happen so young--and under this kind of media attention--is unfathomable. I don't know what's to become of these three children, but I predict we'll see a lot more of them. Much as William and Harry carried on their mother's legacy, I think Michael ingrained something into his kids that they will carry with them, and share, for the rest of their lives.

So to those 3 children, especially this brave little girl who stood in front of a worldwide audience of who knows how many million, to share her love for her father: you have many thoughts and prayers with you. And know that you made, and will continue to make, your father very proud.

(Yeah, I know, I don't usually get so serious and sappy on here. But this moment truly touched me, and I wanted to talk about it.)

Happy 4th!

I've actually had a great start to the day. I got to be IN a parade today, out on the "rich island", otherwise known as Sanibel. My friend's husband is the GM at Sanibel's Lazy Flamingo, and every year they have a "float" (although I use the term loosely, LOL) in the parade. Ron buys TONS of swag like frisbees, footballs, baseballs, etc, as well as a couple hundred dollars worth of candy. My job was to look pretty and toss all the Flamingo stuff out into the crowds.

The funniest part, though, is that over the years, Ron has build quite the reputation for himself as the Water Gun Guy. He started by taking a few of the little water guns and squirting the crowd as he rolled by. Well, it's gotten bigger and bigger (as have his guns), and this year he was fully equipped with a huge tank of water, hoses, Super Soakers, etc. It's hysterical, because the crowd is ready for HIM, too--he was getting ambushed by the spectators every couple yards or so (some of them even had water balloons). Apparently, it's become something of a Sanibel tradition. People look for the Lazy Flamingo float because of the water fights and also because they give away the most (and best) free stuff. Needless to say, by the end of the parade, all of us innocent bystanders on the float were drenched too, but it was a lot of fun. I've already promised my services for next year.

Tonight, I'm hanging out with a friend. Liz, the friend I was with today, invited us to go along with her family to the Sanibel Causeway (which is truly beautiful, by the way--overlooking the Gulf) for the fireworks, so we'll see how things shake out. For now, though, I'm taking a nap (I was up at 6 am!).

Have a safe and happy 4th of July, everyone!

Disney recap

It will be impossible, of course, to recount the entire day without writing the longest post ever. Suffice it to say that even with the rain, the boys had the time of their lives. Here are some highlights.

1) We arrived about 10 am. The rain began while we were on the ferry to the Magic Kingdom and continued for most of the day. At times it was just a light drizzle; at others, it actually rained pretty hard. Luckily, some of the lines were indoors (in fact, we got in line for one roller coaster, a kiddie one, simply because it WAS inside. A. really liked it, though). Still, the rain helped with both the temperature (which was pleasant all day) and the lines.

2) When we walked through Main Street and got our first glimpse of the castle, I think I got just as excited as Donovan and Anthony.

3) We hit all of the major attractions other than It's a Small World, since we were souvineer shopping instead. That's okay, though. Yeah, it's a Disney classic, but I was there with BOYS, after all--boys who are almost 9 and 13.

4) We lucked out on the lines for 2 of the major rides, Splash Mountain and Thunder Mountain Railroad. The first time we walked by TMR, it had just closed due to technical difficulties (not the rain). When we checked back later, it had literally JUST opened up; in fact, we were one of the first people in line. We had NO wait! Then, we Fast Passed Splash Mountain--twice. (That's when they tell you what time to come back and you get to enter the ride through a separate line and bypass everyone else. Man, it was exhilarating to walk by allllll those people.)

5) Space Mountain was closed--till WINTER. So that really sucked.

6) The parade was cancelled due to the rain; however, we were close enough to the start of the parade route that still got to see them all walk by on their way back to--wherever they go. So we lucked out there, too.

7) A & D both got to meet Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Minnie, and many more that I'm sure I'm forgetting. We waited in line for about 45 minutes for Mickey (this was the highlight of A's day at the park--it was the #1 thing he'd wanted to do). We got some great pictures.

8) We stayed long enough to see dusk start to fall and the castle start to change colors (see previous pic). The color changed every 5 minutes or so. It was beautiful. We couldn't stay for the fireworks, though, because they started at 10 and that's when the last shuttle back to the hotel was leaving. HOWEVER,

9) As we were on the monorail back to Epcot (where the shuttle was actually picking us up), THOSE fireworks kicked off. The monorail driver actually stopped it mid-track so we could see the show. We TRULY had the best seats in the house; we were RIGHT in front of them. It was so cool; a great end to the day.

10) Missy and I both loved, loved, loved Pirates of the Caribbean (a "pirate-themed boat ride" that landed us in the middle of a pirate battle, but trust me, that description totally doesn't do it justice). It was, as dorky as this sounds, magical and enthralling. I couldn't take it all in fast enough. And the wait was only like 30 minutes. The boys' favorite ride was Splash Mountain (a close second for Missy and me). The second time we were on it, everyone, including A, kept our hands up for the entire plunge. It was awesome (the fall was like 5 stories! I looked it up).

Those, as I said, are just the highlights. There was so much more to our day, but it was SO good. It was a day that those boys really deserved.

Dreams really do come true!!

I don't know if the magic of the Magic Kingdom is rubbing off on my regular life or what, but I just checked my mail from the last few days--and something truly momentous has finally happened. I've dreamed of this day for as long as I can remember, and although at time my faith has wavered, I've never given up hope. Today, that faith has paid off.

I have FINALLY been selected to be a Neilsen "family."

You know the TV ratings you are always hearing about? Well, those are calculated by surverying a sampling of the American public, finding out what they're watching at any given time. And now, *I* get to be one of those people! I have to keep a TV diary (I'm not sure for how long yet; I've been too excited to actually sit down and read all the info, LOL) of everything that I watch and for how long. (It makes me wish I had Cinemax, so I could enter in a whole lot of late-night porn.) AND they sent me $4! I guess they want to know what single spinster teachers in their early 30s are watching these days.

So...yeah. Seriously, I've wanted to do this for years. I'm so excited.

I just dropped Missy and the boys off at the airport. This place is so quiet that it's actually loud, if that makes any sense. I've really, really enjoyed having them around. It was really nice to be able to spend that much time with Donovan and Anthony. Usually when I go home, I'll spend a few hours over at their house, but we've never been together for a week like this before. I had a blast with them. They really are truly great kids--very funny, very sharp, very smart, very sweet and loving. I'm lucky to have nephews like them. Oh, and Missy isn't bad either. ;)

I'll post a full recap of our Disney adventures later, but for now, I'm going back to bed. I just jumped online to post about the Neilsen thing, because I am THAT excited about it. It's truly a pretty noteworthy event. ;) In the meantime, though, I leave you with these camera phone shots that capture the beauty of the Magic Kingdom and Epcot at night. (I have the MK pic as the wallpaper for my phone and it looks amazing--like the kind of picture you would pay to download. The Epcot one is blurrier but you can still get the general idea.)

Most of day has been spent in rain but we are having a great time. Am about to drag them on Its a Small World next . Just Fast Passed on Splash Mountain.

Been raining all day at Disney. We finally broke down and bought ponchos. Rain immediately stopped.

Everything's better in Florida, part II

Saturday:

We started out the day with a visit to the nature center and planetarium. They were both okay (especially the touch tank at the nature center, which let the kids pick up starfish, horseshoe craps, etc, and then the "tour of the solar system" show at the Planetarium), although neither will make highlight reel of the trip, I'm sure.

But the best part of the day was the cookout with my friends. The boys actually had a great time, because a) there was a pool, which is all they cared about, LOL and b) two of the guys, Andy and Rich, came up with this game that was a big success. It's hard to explain, but I'll call it Ultimate Pool Frisbee. Andy and Rich would stand in the shallow end of the pool, and they took turns tossing the frisbee over to Donovan and Anthony. The "catch" (no pun intended) is that the boys would have to take a running start, leap into the pool and catch the frisbee in midair. It was quite the party hit, let me tell you.

Sunday:

Today, Shawn took us out on the boat. We were very lucky because we saw a LOT of dolphins today. It was so cool. We saw them extra close up on our way back to the dock. Seriously, they were right in front of us. I'm SO GLAD the dolphins made an appearance for us today--in spades.

Shawn was nice enough to buy us all dinner (it was a little restaurant out in the bay; we pulled up and "parked" the boat right there, and then hopped off and went in to eat). The boys ate--are you ready for this??--GATOR TAIL!!!!! And they really liked it, too. Missy and I both tried it, but we weren't big fans (I, of course, almost hurled, but I kept it down). We were out on the boat for like 5 hours. The boys got to swim in the Gulf, and Shawn and I towed them from the boat onto shore (they had on life jackets), so they could look for shells on a whole different beach (Missy stayed on the boat, laid on the deck and got some peace and quiet, LOL). The boys had a great time--we all did, actually. He was a great host and gave them yet another memorable Florida experience. The boys seemed to really like him, too. It was cute. (I'm sure Mrs. A will be glad to hear that the I Heart Shawn Fan Club has two new members.)

And on the way home from the beach, we somehow ended up with Zeke and Thriller--Donovan's and Anthony's new pet turtles. It's a long story. =-) They've been asking for a pet for a long time, and, well, we were in the right place at the right time. (They're little itty bitty baby turtles; we're not sure how they're getting back to Michigan but I'm pretty sure they will count as a carry on; they're both in one little tank with a plastic lid.

Anyway--yet another great day here in paradise. Tomorrow, the zoo during the day and then we're heading up to Orlando later that evening. We have to get our rest on Monday night because Tuesday is DISNEY!!!! We'll spend the night on Tuesday night, too, and we'll head back here on Wednesday--their last night, already. How is that even possible??

In closing:

Donovan: "We can do whatever we want, 'cuz we're on vacation."
And later: "I have a ring of itch-ness" (where he's peeling on his back)

Anthony: "Turtles are awesome."

Missy: "It's Florida, bitches."

And there you have it.