Yes, it's true.
(I originally posted this as a comment below, but it was just way too long, so I'm making it its own, highly entertaining, post.)
As of today, I am the assistant coach for the girls' basketball team. (Yes, I'm serious. And yes, they were REALLY hard up.)
Fo those of you who may not see the humor in this situation or realize why this "breaking news" has, so far, caused my sister, mother and best friend to break into absolutely hysterical laughter: I'm not much of an athlete and I really don't know that much about sports. I watch basketball on TV--especially during playoffs--and I can tell, basically, two things: 1) when someone gets the ball in the hoop 2) and when someone (or a group of someones) makes a particularly nice play. That, however, is about the limit of my bball expertise. (I mean, I can talk about the Pistons with some degree of knowledge but hell, EVERYONE in Detroit can.)
I got roped into it a) because my cooperating teacher is the head coach b) the woman who was SUPPOSED to help her coach is now coaching golf instead and c) as Mrs. R's student teaher, I am basically her bitch for the next 12 weeks. See, in student teaching, when someone asks you if you want to do something "extracurricular," they aren't really ASKING. Student teachers are expected to take on as much as they possibly can outside of the classroom. This is how you add to your resume, obtain those glowing references and, most importantly, get your name and your face out there. In the ultra-competitive Michigan teaching job market, you need to go above and beyond to even have a CHANCE at securing a spot in the classroom after graduation. So, when Mrs R asked if I'd like to help her out this season, I naturally jumped at the chance, exhibiting my natural enthusiasm and desire to go that extra mile. GO VIKINGS!
Keep in mind that, as head coach, Mrs. R is teaching them the actual skills. For the most part, I'm just there to assist in running the practices, keep her organized at games, etc. Just in case though, I'm also going to rent a whole bunch of "basketball team" movies this weekend, like Coach Carter and Love and Basketball, so I can learn a few key phrases to throw out and make it seem like I know what the hell I'm talking about.
I just have to bluff my way through until the end of October. The're 7th and 8th grade girls--I can TOTALLY do this.
8 comments:
Actually, I did see it already and I loved it. But now I have to watch it more pointedly. (Same thing with Love and Basketball--GREAT movie)
Well, this will be my schedule for the next 12 weeks:
7:30 - 3:00 School
3:30 - 5 Bball practice
5:30 - 7:30 Work
8- whenever Lesson planning, paper grading, etc.
Note that I haven't scheduled time to eat, sleep or sh*t. Those are luxuries I just don't have.
(Game days, I just won't be able to work. I have to make a copy of the schedule but I would THINK that there wouldn't be games more often than once, maybe twice, a week. So I'm not going to be working very much, obviously--on Friday nights, I'll try to work a little later cuz I'll have the weekend to catch up on planning and stuff--but each check should be enough to basically give me gas money for the two weeks)
Holy over do yourself. Girl, well time sure will fly!! Good luck with that schedule and with coaching. You are a brave soul :).
So, this means you will be doing all the grunt work.
I coached a Jr. High volleyball team for one season. It was a lot of fun!
Good luck, Coach. I have an intern starting in September; I'm looking forward to having my own bitch.
Plus, I then only have to teach two classes a day. Life will be good.
LOL-- please tell me someone will have a tape of your "performance"! Did you at least inform the coach that you're clueless, as far as rules and such go? This oughta be awesome.
She has been properly warned. =-)
that's my mom and she's correcting my grammar, of course.
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