The Luck o’ the Irish!
And speaking of lucky- My husband and I are going to Ireland for our 1st Anniversary over the Labor Day Weekend! (We must go quickly, before any kids appear to suck out our free time & money!)
We’ll be in Dublin on the east coast for 2 days exploring the city and tasting at the Guinness Brewery. Then we’ll drive through the south & southwestern area from Killarny for 2 days, driving around the Ring of Kerry and kissing the Blarney Stone. Then (dream come true!) we’ll stay at Dromoland Castle for a night where I will fully indulge all romantic princess fantasies that pop into my imaginative head. We have 1 day in Galway on the west coast and then zoom back to Dublin to fly home.
We’re driving, or rather, hubby’s driving on the wrong side of the road in a tiny European car for the week. This is guaranteed to look funny as we’re both freakishly tall, as my sister-in-law has so genteelly described us, and European cars are generally tiny. Can’t you just see us folding ourselves into the car with our knees up by our ears?
Anywho,
If you’ve been to Ireland, what do we need to see and do?
If you haven’t been to Ireland, where have you been and what do you recommend there?
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
I love these kids.
I am so lucky to have an amazing group of 6th graders. Yes, there are one or two more "challenging" kids in each period but nothing too horrible--no backtalking, no defiance, no major issues. They're just a bunch of fun, funny, smart (well, most of them) sweet kids. I would step in front of a speeding bus for any one of them (although there's some I'd move a little more quickly for than others. ;) ).
Today, one of them came up to me and said, "Miss K, can we have a penny drive for the people in the hurricane?" We teachers had already been talking about doing SOMETHING as a school, but to have this boy come up to US with the idea was just so sweet.
Side note: this boy is both one of my favorite students AND one of the most frustrating. He is incredibly smart (he's done very well on his assignments so far), volunteers in class, is funny as hell and usually has very sharp, insightful comments and questions. But HOLY CRAP, he has the attention span of a flea. He hasn't been officially diagnosed with anything, but he can usually be found wandering around the room, looking out the window, standing by the door (not even getting ready to leave--just STANDING there, like he's waiting for a bus), etc. Sometimes I'll look up and he'll just be standing at my desk. "What do you need, R?" I'll ask for perhaps the 15th time that day, since we have him for three periods: reading, language arts and social studies. "Nothing," he'll say. "I'm just looking at this pencil/your desk/this paper/your chair/that paperclip." "R, SIT." "Okay." He listens well--he'll sit right down and start working on his assignment...for about three minutes. Soon, he'll be flipping through his lit book (which would be fine, if we weren't in social studies at the time) or gazing out the window or wandering along the book shelves, touching each title as he passes by.
THIS was the boy who come up to me today with his penny drive idea. And it's moments like that just make me LOVE this kid.
I am so lucky to have an amazing group of 6th graders. Yes, there are one or two more "challenging" kids in each period but nothing too horrible--no backtalking, no defiance, no major issues. They're just a bunch of fun, funny, smart (well, most of them) sweet kids. I would step in front of a speeding bus for any one of them (although there's some I'd move a little more quickly for than others. ;) ).
Today, one of them came up to me and said, "Miss K, can we have a penny drive for the people in the hurricane?" We teachers had already been talking about doing SOMETHING as a school, but to have this boy come up to US with the idea was just so sweet.
Side note: this boy is both one of my favorite students AND one of the most frustrating. He is incredibly smart (he's done very well on his assignments so far), volunteers in class, is funny as hell and usually has very sharp, insightful comments and questions. But HOLY CRAP, he has the attention span of a flea. He hasn't been officially diagnosed with anything, but he can usually be found wandering around the room, looking out the window, standing by the door (not even getting ready to leave--just STANDING there, like he's waiting for a bus), etc. Sometimes I'll look up and he'll just be standing at my desk. "What do you need, R?" I'll ask for perhaps the 15th time that day, since we have him for three periods: reading, language arts and social studies. "Nothing," he'll say. "I'm just looking at this pencil/your desk/this paper/your chair/that paperclip." "R, SIT." "Okay." He listens well--he'll sit right down and start working on his assignment...for about three minutes. Soon, he'll be flipping through his lit book (which would be fine, if we weren't in social studies at the time) or gazing out the window or wandering along the book shelves, touching each title as he passes by.
THIS was the boy who come up to me today with his penny drive idea. And it's moments like that just make me LOVE this kid.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Commercials that make you cry.
(Besides the Fruit of the Loom "You can't over love your underwear" one, of course. That's a given. Have you seen it? The "music video" one?)
Anyway, the latest one to set me off was for Mastercard. It opens with a mom slowly driving her minivan down the street. "Tank of gas, $36."
Then the camera cuts to a little boy (6 years old or so, maybe a little older) shuffling down the sidewalk.
"Being there when he changes his mind about joining the circus...priceless."
And the camera zooms out and you see him dragging his little bear behind him and carrying a kid-sized suitcase....it's just SO CUTE.
Which commercials make YOU verklempt? (Boys, you need to play, too.)
(Besides the Fruit of the Loom "You can't over love your underwear" one, of course. That's a given. Have you seen it? The "music video" one?)
Anyway, the latest one to set me off was for Mastercard. It opens with a mom slowly driving her minivan down the street. "Tank of gas, $36."
Then the camera cuts to a little boy (6 years old or so, maybe a little older) shuffling down the sidewalk.
"Being there when he changes his mind about joining the circus...priceless."
And the camera zooms out and you see him dragging his little bear behind him and carrying a kid-sized suitcase....it's just SO CUTE.
Which commercials make YOU verklempt? (Boys, you need to play, too.)
High praise.
My cooperating teacher told me today that sometimes she forgets I'm only a "student teacher" who is just starting out, because I'm so "competent" and "a natural." And Mrs. R. is a master teacher (considered one of the best in the school, easily), so coming from her, that REALLY meant a lot.
So I guess, my coaching skills notwithstanding, I'm doing pretty good so far. ;)
No, but seriously, it's good to know that, after making it this far, I might actualy be able to make it as a teacher, after all.
My cooperating teacher told me today that sometimes she forgets I'm only a "student teacher" who is just starting out, because I'm so "competent" and "a natural." And Mrs. R. is a master teacher (considered one of the best in the school, easily), so coming from her, that REALLY meant a lot.
So I guess, my coaching skills notwithstanding, I'm doing pretty good so far. ;)
No, but seriously, it's good to know that, after making it this far, I might actualy be able to make it as a teacher, after all.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
I must have misunderstood.
I thought I was going to be helping out a junior high basketball tryout today. I must have been in the wrong place, though, because I apparently ended up at tryouts for the freakin' WNBA.
HOLY CRAP, those girls are good. You should have seen their guarding and ball-handling skills--not to mention all the other skills that I don't know the name for.
I think Mrs R is realizing that having me there is REALLY not going to be helpful to her at all. Frankly, she's probably better off by herself. Luckily, she's also in charge of Student Council, which is MUCH more up my alley. I'll talk to her tomorrow, after tryouts are done. I'll let her know that I can continue to help but my feelings won't be at all hurt if she wants to "fire" me. I'll also express my willingness to assist with S.C. instead--and then I'll just pray for the best.
I thought I was going to be helping out a junior high basketball tryout today. I must have been in the wrong place, though, because I apparently ended up at tryouts for the freakin' WNBA.
HOLY CRAP, those girls are good. You should have seen their guarding and ball-handling skills--not to mention all the other skills that I don't know the name for.
I think Mrs R is realizing that having me there is REALLY not going to be helpful to her at all. Frankly, she's probably better off by herself. Luckily, she's also in charge of Student Council, which is MUCH more up my alley. I'll talk to her tomorrow, after tryouts are done. I'll let her know that I can continue to help but my feelings won't be at all hurt if she wants to "fire" me. I'll also express my willingness to assist with S.C. instead--and then I'll just pray for the best.
Rockin' with the Crue.
Jeff and I went to see Motley Crue tonight. HOLY CRAP, that was one hell of a concert. Over two solid hours of TRUE rock. It was amazing. The guys are still incredibly high energy, and you can tell that they really love and appreciate their fans. (LOL, oh my God, the FANS. Picture everyone who went to a Motley Crue concert back in '88 or so, but add about 15 years to their ages. That was your typical concert goer tonight. (I am happy to report, however, that mullets, torn jeans and black concert Tshirts are still alive and well.)
Granted, my hearing and my vocal chords have probably suffered permanent, lasting damage--and I saw more boobs than I really needed to see--oh, and I'm pretty sure I got a contact buzz from all the pot smoke--but THAT'S OKAY. It was well worth it.
Jeff and I went to see Motley Crue tonight. HOLY CRAP, that was one hell of a concert. Over two solid hours of TRUE rock. It was amazing. The guys are still incredibly high energy, and you can tell that they really love and appreciate their fans. (LOL, oh my God, the FANS. Picture everyone who went to a Motley Crue concert back in '88 or so, but add about 15 years to their ages. That was your typical concert goer tonight. (I am happy to report, however, that mullets, torn jeans and black concert Tshirts are still alive and well.)
Granted, my hearing and my vocal chords have probably suffered permanent, lasting damage--and I saw more boobs than I really needed to see--oh, and I'm pretty sure I got a contact buzz from all the pot smoke--but THAT'S OKAY. It was well worth it.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
My first day of school.
Our phones didn't work, our computers didn't work and our class rosters were all wrong. Other than THAT, my first day as a student teacher went pretty well.
(Of course, we only had each group of kids for about 20 minutes--just about enough time to introduce ourselves, take attendance and help them figure out which class they were going to next. My first full day is Thursday.)
Our phones didn't work, our computers didn't work and our class rosters were all wrong. Other than THAT, my first day as a student teacher went pretty well.
(Of course, we only had each group of kids for about 20 minutes--just about enough time to introduce ourselves, take attendance and help them figure out which class they were going to next. My first full day is Thursday.)
Monday, August 22, 2005
Yes, it's true.
(I originally posted this as a comment below, but it was just way too long, so I'm making it its own, highly entertaining, post.)
As of today, I am the assistant coach for the girls' basketball team. (Yes, I'm serious. And yes, they were REALLY hard up.)
Fo those of you who may not see the humor in this situation or realize why this "breaking news" has, so far, caused my sister, mother and best friend to break into absolutely hysterical laughter: I'm not much of an athlete and I really don't know that much about sports. I watch basketball on TV--especially during playoffs--and I can tell, basically, two things: 1) when someone gets the ball in the hoop 2) and when someone (or a group of someones) makes a particularly nice play. That, however, is about the limit of my bball expertise. (I mean, I can talk about the Pistons with some degree of knowledge but hell, EVERYONE in Detroit can.)
I got roped into it a) because my cooperating teacher is the head coach b) the woman who was SUPPOSED to help her coach is now coaching golf instead and c) as Mrs. R's student teaher, I am basically her bitch for the next 12 weeks. See, in student teaching, when someone asks you if you want to do something "extracurricular," they aren't really ASKING. Student teachers are expected to take on as much as they possibly can outside of the classroom. This is how you add to your resume, obtain those glowing references and, most importantly, get your name and your face out there. In the ultra-competitive Michigan teaching job market, you need to go above and beyond to even have a CHANCE at securing a spot in the classroom after graduation. So, when Mrs R asked if I'd like to help her out this season, I naturally jumped at the chance, exhibiting my natural enthusiasm and desire to go that extra mile. GO VIKINGS!
Keep in mind that, as head coach, Mrs. R is teaching them the actual skills. For the most part, I'm just there to assist in running the practices, keep her organized at games, etc. Just in case though, I'm also going to rent a whole bunch of "basketball team" movies this weekend, like Coach Carter and Love and Basketball, so I can learn a few key phrases to throw out and make it seem like I know what the hell I'm talking about.
I just have to bluff my way through until the end of October. The're 7th and 8th grade girls--I can TOTALLY do this.
(I originally posted this as a comment below, but it was just way too long, so I'm making it its own, highly entertaining, post.)
As of today, I am the assistant coach for the girls' basketball team. (Yes, I'm serious. And yes, they were REALLY hard up.)
Fo those of you who may not see the humor in this situation or realize why this "breaking news" has, so far, caused my sister, mother and best friend to break into absolutely hysterical laughter: I'm not much of an athlete and I really don't know that much about sports. I watch basketball on TV--especially during playoffs--and I can tell, basically, two things: 1) when someone gets the ball in the hoop 2) and when someone (or a group of someones) makes a particularly nice play. That, however, is about the limit of my bball expertise. (I mean, I can talk about the Pistons with some degree of knowledge but hell, EVERYONE in Detroit can.)
I got roped into it a) because my cooperating teacher is the head coach b) the woman who was SUPPOSED to help her coach is now coaching golf instead and c) as Mrs. R's student teaher, I am basically her bitch for the next 12 weeks. See, in student teaching, when someone asks you if you want to do something "extracurricular," they aren't really ASKING. Student teachers are expected to take on as much as they possibly can outside of the classroom. This is how you add to your resume, obtain those glowing references and, most importantly, get your name and your face out there. In the ultra-competitive Michigan teaching job market, you need to go above and beyond to even have a CHANCE at securing a spot in the classroom after graduation. So, when Mrs R asked if I'd like to help her out this season, I naturally jumped at the chance, exhibiting my natural enthusiasm and desire to go that extra mile. GO VIKINGS!
Keep in mind that, as head coach, Mrs. R is teaching them the actual skills. For the most part, I'm just there to assist in running the practices, keep her organized at games, etc. Just in case though, I'm also going to rent a whole bunch of "basketball team" movies this weekend, like Coach Carter and Love and Basketball, so I can learn a few key phrases to throw out and make it seem like I know what the hell I'm talking about.
I just have to bluff my way through until the end of October. The're 7th and 8th grade girls--I can TOTALLY do this.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
The person below me.
No, this isn't a dirty post (although undoubtedly, at some point, it will be turned into one).
This is a game I found online that I thought was pretty cool, so I figured we'd give it a shot.
You make a random statement and the next person to post says true or false and then makes their own statement. Example-
"The person below me loves the color purple."
Next Poster- "False- I like red. The person below me likes cats better than dogs."
3rd Poster- "True. The person below me is married."
And so on...make sense?
OK, so I'll get it started.
The person below me loves thunderstorms.
(Remember, only the first person to reply to this thread answers THAT statement--and then the second commenter will respond to the statement left by the first poster, etc.)
No, this isn't a dirty post (although undoubtedly, at some point, it will be turned into one).
This is a game I found online that I thought was pretty cool, so I figured we'd give it a shot.
You make a random statement and the next person to post says true or false and then makes their own statement. Example-
"The person below me loves the color purple."
Next Poster- "False- I like red. The person below me likes cats better than dogs."
3rd Poster- "True. The person below me is married."
And so on...make sense?
OK, so I'll get it started.
The person below me loves thunderstorms.
(Remember, only the first person to reply to this thread answers THAT statement--and then the second commenter will respond to the statement left by the first poster, etc.)
Good to know the weight loss is paying off.
Today, at the hair salon, I had a two-year-old boy inform me, "I'm gonna FREAK YOU." (We had been talking earlier; if you know me at all, you know that children and I have a tendency to strike up conversations pretty much everywhere I go.)
His mom, who was getting her hair cut at the time, was just mortified. "WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT, Georgie?" she gasped.
Yes, folks, that's right. I was propositioned by a blonde-haired, blue-eyed cherub named Georgie.
Today, at the hair salon, I had a two-year-old boy inform me, "I'm gonna FREAK YOU." (We had been talking earlier; if you know me at all, you know that children and I have a tendency to strike up conversations pretty much everywhere I go.)
His mom, who was getting her hair cut at the time, was just mortified. "WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT, Georgie?" she gasped.
Yes, folks, that's right. I was propositioned by a blonde-haired, blue-eyed cherub named Georgie.
Friday, August 19, 2005
The Godfatha
Even more importantly- The Godmotha.
That’s right folks, this weekend I’ll be christened The Godmotha (insert music and/or quotes from the Godfather movies here). I’ll be able to make you offers you can’t refuse.
But seriously people, what do you think the role of the godparents should be?
Is it a religious role, just a church requirement, replacement parents if the real ones pass away, someone to give the kid extra presents on a birthday? What do you think?
Even more importantly- The Godmotha.
That’s right folks, this weekend I’ll be christened The Godmotha (insert music and/or quotes from the Godfather movies here). I’ll be able to make you offers you can’t refuse.
But seriously people, what do you think the role of the godparents should be?
Is it a religious role, just a church requirement, replacement parents if the real ones pass away, someone to give the kid extra presents on a birthday? What do you think?
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I'm Gonna Bathe in Cinnamon Oil Tonight!
Scent Your Way to Dating Success!
Brought to you by Jessica Brown and Match.com!
Saturday night, 7:55 p.m.: Women across America are somewhat frantically trying to find the perfect date-night outfit, one that will flatter their bods and make them seem sophisticated, fun-loving, and an all-around attractive date prospect. Allow us to throw this into the mix: Surprising research suggests that it may be the choice of scent that really makes one's body look hot.
In one study, researchers at The Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago found that, in the presence of both cinnamon and lavender aromas, men rated women (shown to them in headshots) as more attractive, intelligent, successful, and trustworthy. Researcher Alan R. Hirsch, M.D. decided to take a more in-depth look at how odor affects perception. His team spritzed an overweight woman with a different fragrance each day and had men guess her weight. When she wore a spicy-floral fragrance, men perceived her to be as much as 12 pounds lighter than she actually was; the other scents had no effect.
Exactly why scents can have a slenderizing effect is a mystery, though Hirsch has a few theories. "It may be that the scent put the men in a good mood, making their judgment very optimistic," he says. "Or the fragrance may be sexually appealing, so the guys find the women sexier." Regardless of the mechanism, what's important isn't how slender someone appears, but the self-esteem boost it provides, adds Dr. Hirsch: "If a woman feels she's being viewed as slim, she may feel more confident and be more likely to socialize and attract men."
However, Dr. Hirsch has bad news for guys hoping to disguise a beer belly: Women's perceptions of pounds weren't fooled by fragrance of any kind. "Women are too good at estimating weight," he explains--perhaps because they're conditioned to be so focused on their own.
Jessica Brown writes for Fitness and American Baby; based on the research above, she's going to wear a spicy-floral scent and black clothes on her next date.
Scent Your Way to Dating Success!
Brought to you by Jessica Brown and Match.com!
Saturday night, 7:55 p.m.: Women across America are somewhat frantically trying to find the perfect date-night outfit, one that will flatter their bods and make them seem sophisticated, fun-loving, and an all-around attractive date prospect. Allow us to throw this into the mix: Surprising research suggests that it may be the choice of scent that really makes one's body look hot.
In one study, researchers at The Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago found that, in the presence of both cinnamon and lavender aromas, men rated women (shown to them in headshots) as more attractive, intelligent, successful, and trustworthy. Researcher Alan R. Hirsch, M.D. decided to take a more in-depth look at how odor affects perception. His team spritzed an overweight woman with a different fragrance each day and had men guess her weight. When she wore a spicy-floral fragrance, men perceived her to be as much as 12 pounds lighter than she actually was; the other scents had no effect.
Exactly why scents can have a slenderizing effect is a mystery, though Hirsch has a few theories. "It may be that the scent put the men in a good mood, making their judgment very optimistic," he says. "Or the fragrance may be sexually appealing, so the guys find the women sexier." Regardless of the mechanism, what's important isn't how slender someone appears, but the self-esteem boost it provides, adds Dr. Hirsch: "If a woman feels she's being viewed as slim, she may feel more confident and be more likely to socialize and attract men."
However, Dr. Hirsch has bad news for guys hoping to disguise a beer belly: Women's perceptions of pounds weren't fooled by fragrance of any kind. "Women are too good at estimating weight," he explains--perhaps because they're conditioned to be so focused on their own.
Jessica Brown writes for Fitness and American Baby; based on the research above, she's going to wear a spicy-floral scent and black clothes on her next date.
Peach Raspberry Crisp
I mentioned this delectable little thing on Kishelle's blog. Anna requested the recipe; thought I'd post it on here so everyone can have it. It's SO GOOD and really easy to put together.
5 medium peaches, peeled and sliced
1 C raspberries
1 T cornstarch
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t ginger
1/3 C thawed apple juice concentrate
1/3 C flour
1/3 C quick oats
1/3 C brown sugar
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 C cold butter, cut into small pieces
Vanilla ice cream
Preheat oven to 375º. Combine fruit in a greased 2-quart casserole dish. In a separate bowl, combine cornstarch, cinnamon, ginger and apple juice concentrate; stir until smooth. Pour this over the fruit. In another bowl, stir together flour, oats, brown sugar and cinnamon. Cut in the butter using a fork or a pastry blender until mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle over the fruit. Bake for 30-35 minutes. Of course it's best served warm with vanilla ice cream, but it's good at room temp, too :-)
Interesting plot twist.
As Renee knows, Thomas and I have been "in discussions" for the past several days. He wants to go active duty (no more part-time National Guard duty; he wants to be a full-time soldier). I'm flattered that he discussed it with me first, but after listening to him talk about the inner...NEED he feels to serve--and how it's who he is, how it's just "in him"--I knew that there was really no other choice. This is what he has to do to be truly happy with himself and his life, regardless of what may or may not happen with US down the road.
So....I'm still going to Texas to meet him in December or January and then he'll (hopefully, depending on his schedule and how that first visit goes) be coming up here in late March/early April for his birthday. And after that...who knows. But if it's God's plan for us to be together, if this is something that's really meant to be....well, it looks like I'd eventually become a military wife, at least for a while.
I don't always understand him, but I sure admire the hell out of him.
As Renee knows, Thomas and I have been "in discussions" for the past several days. He wants to go active duty (no more part-time National Guard duty; he wants to be a full-time soldier). I'm flattered that he discussed it with me first, but after listening to him talk about the inner...NEED he feels to serve--and how it's who he is, how it's just "in him"--I knew that there was really no other choice. This is what he has to do to be truly happy with himself and his life, regardless of what may or may not happen with US down the road.
So....I'm still going to Texas to meet him in December or January and then he'll (hopefully, depending on his schedule and how that first visit goes) be coming up here in late March/early April for his birthday. And after that...who knows. But if it's God's plan for us to be together, if this is something that's really meant to be....well, it looks like I'd eventually become a military wife, at least for a while.
I don't always understand him, but I sure admire the hell out of him.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Life lessons, from my back to yours.
Do not--I repeat, DO NOT--use Tae Bo as a method of "letting off steam." Sure, in the midst of your emotionally-driven workout, you may start roundhouse-kicking like Jackie Chan. However, when you wake up the next morning, you will quickly realize that you are NOT, in fact, a world-reknowned martial arts champion. What you ARE, however, is an almost-29-year-old woman with what is now a very bad back.
Do not--I repeat, DO NOT--use Tae Bo as a method of "letting off steam." Sure, in the midst of your emotionally-driven workout, you may start roundhouse-kicking like Jackie Chan. However, when you wake up the next morning, you will quickly realize that you are NOT, in fact, a world-reknowned martial arts champion. What you ARE, however, is an almost-29-year-old woman with what is now a very bad back.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
What is that NOISE?
Tonight, at periodic intervals, we've been hearing this horrible rattling sound coming from the bedroom. We turned off the fan, since it sounded like something was caught in the blades--and then we heard the machine-gun-like noise erupt from the back room AGAIN.
"What the HELL?!" asked Jeff. "I thought you shut the f(*#&&ing fan off!"
"I DID!!" I replied, so Jeff went into the bedroom and yanked the plug out of the wall. Finally, peace and quiet....for about 7 minutes. Then.....rat-a-tat-tat-tat buzzzzzzzzz (think: cell phone or pager vibrating on top of a desk). The problem is that the noises would come in such short bursts that each "episode" was usually over by the time we were able to run down the hall into the bedroom.
We just heard it again about 10 minutes ago--and this time, Jeff was able to hurdle over me and my chair quickly enough to make it to the bedroom door and get a fix on the general direction of the source. "It sounds like it's coming from near the dresser!" he exclaimed.
Oh, shit. I had a sinking suspicion that I suddenly knew what we kept hearing.
I opened my bottom drawer and sat by the bed to wait. Sure enough, after about 5 minutes, one of my bullet vibrators with an apparently-defective battery started rattling around in the wooden drawer. (This was not one of my quietest toys to begin with, let alone when it's in a small, enclosed wooden space.)
I retured to the computer room and, with as much dignity as I could muster, informed Jeff that I had "fixed the problem."
He was laughing too hard to answer.
Tonight, at periodic intervals, we've been hearing this horrible rattling sound coming from the bedroom. We turned off the fan, since it sounded like something was caught in the blades--and then we heard the machine-gun-like noise erupt from the back room AGAIN.
"What the HELL?!" asked Jeff. "I thought you shut the f(*#&&ing fan off!"
"I DID!!" I replied, so Jeff went into the bedroom and yanked the plug out of the wall. Finally, peace and quiet....for about 7 minutes. Then.....rat-a-tat-tat-tat buzzzzzzzzz (think: cell phone or pager vibrating on top of a desk). The problem is that the noises would come in such short bursts that each "episode" was usually over by the time we were able to run down the hall into the bedroom.
We just heard it again about 10 minutes ago--and this time, Jeff was able to hurdle over me and my chair quickly enough to make it to the bedroom door and get a fix on the general direction of the source. "It sounds like it's coming from near the dresser!" he exclaimed.
Oh, shit. I had a sinking suspicion that I suddenly knew what we kept hearing.
I opened my bottom drawer and sat by the bed to wait. Sure enough, after about 5 minutes, one of my bullet vibrators with an apparently-defective battery started rattling around in the wooden drawer. (This was not one of my quietest toys to begin with, let alone when it's in a small, enclosed wooden space.)
I retured to the computer room and, with as much dignity as I could muster, informed Jeff that I had "fixed the problem."
He was laughing too hard to answer.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
In case you didn't get the email...
I've lost another 10 lbs! Yes, I'm quite excited about it. I weighed myself at the S's today (their scale is in line with the mall scale. I know this because I weighed myself on the S's scale once during my nanny days. Convinced that the number I saw couldn't POSSIBLY be right, I promptly packed the kids into the car for a More Accurate Scale Search. As it turns out, their scale WAS correct, as I got the same reading at the mall).
Anyway, I wasn't going to weigh myself because it's, um, an "inopportune" time of the month, but I couldn't help myself--I haven't weighed myself in a whole MONTH. At first, I looked down and thought that the needle was hovering at 165, which is what I weighed LAST time; then I looked closer and realized it was at 1*5*5. Whoo hoo!! (Yes, I'm gonna "cowgirl up" and put my real weight out there for everyone to see--if they can do it on Celebrity Fit Club, then so can I.)
So now, I'm 10 pounds away from my initial goal of 145. Like I told Renee earlier today, I don't want to get TOO excited yet; once student teaching (and the cold weather) hits, it will be more difficult for me to work out regularly, not to mention that I'm sure to reach the dreaded plateau that all dieters eventually face. Bottom line, I know that the weight won't always come off this consistently and steadily--so I'm enjoying it while it lasts while also building a "buffer weight loss" for the future.
(Sadly, my first thought upon seeing my new weight was, I shit you not: "Whoo hoo! I should go to McDonald's tonight to celebrate!")
I've lost another 10 lbs! Yes, I'm quite excited about it. I weighed myself at the S's today (their scale is in line with the mall scale. I know this because I weighed myself on the S's scale once during my nanny days. Convinced that the number I saw couldn't POSSIBLY be right, I promptly packed the kids into the car for a More Accurate Scale Search. As it turns out, their scale WAS correct, as I got the same reading at the mall).
Anyway, I wasn't going to weigh myself because it's, um, an "inopportune" time of the month, but I couldn't help myself--I haven't weighed myself in a whole MONTH. At first, I looked down and thought that the needle was hovering at 165, which is what I weighed LAST time; then I looked closer and realized it was at 1*5*5. Whoo hoo!! (Yes, I'm gonna "cowgirl up" and put my real weight out there for everyone to see--if they can do it on Celebrity Fit Club, then so can I.)
So now, I'm 10 pounds away from my initial goal of 145. Like I told Renee earlier today, I don't want to get TOO excited yet; once student teaching (and the cold weather) hits, it will be more difficult for me to work out regularly, not to mention that I'm sure to reach the dreaded plateau that all dieters eventually face. Bottom line, I know that the weight won't always come off this consistently and steadily--so I'm enjoying it while it lasts while also building a "buffer weight loss" for the future.
(Sadly, my first thought upon seeing my new weight was, I shit you not: "Whoo hoo! I should go to McDonald's tonight to celebrate!")
Friday, August 12, 2005
I don't even know what to say.
This article just gutted me for two reasons. First of all, it's titled "Aug. Death Toll for Reserves in Iraq Soars," and it examines how deadly the first 10 days of August have been for Reserves and National Guard members in Iraq (Thomas in NG). So it's a scary article for me to read to begin with.
However, there's another aspect that makes this article even more heartbreaking. The soldier featured, both in the article and in the photo, was one of "our" guys. Even worse, his Angel is a friend of mine. She received word of her soldier's death on her 21st birthday. She got the call while she was writing him a letter.
http://apnews.excite.com/article/20050812/D8BU7N0G0.html
This particular death hit me especially hard. I didn't know him while he was alive, but in the days since he was taken from us, his Angel and I have talked, and she's shared with me some stories about him, both funny and poignant, and even shared some of his words with me. Getting a glimpse into the soul of this man who was so excited to come home and resume his life--truly, there are no words for how painful it is. My heart aches for his family, friends and Angel, who have all lost such an amazing man. Hell, we've ALL lost him. Some of us just don't know it yet.
As an Angel, it's getting pretty damn hard to "keep our helmets on," as we say. How do I continue to support my troops when I'm feeling so broken and empty inside myself? I feel like I'M running out of steam. And yet they need us, now more than ever.
My first thought, of course, is, "Bring them the f*#& home!! How many more have to be killed over there?" But then, just today, on the Angel board, another one of our soldiers posted about how much he believes in what they're doing over there and how much of a difference they're making. So hell, if HE believes in the mission, than who am I to say it's wrong?
I don't know anymore, guys. I honestly can't even tell you how I feel about this war. I don't even KNOW if I support it or not. I've moved from one end of the spectrum to the other and now...I don't know. I want Thomas home. I want them ALL home. And I pray, all the time, for the families and friends who, almost every day, receive the devastating news that their loved one isn't coming home.
I'm sorry so much of my focus has been on the war lately. No, actually, I'm not. "Sorry" isn't the right word. I know it's not much fun to read these posts. But like it or not, this is what's going on over there, and I owe it to every single person, both those who have lost their lives and those who are still fighting, not to close my eyes or stick my head in the sand. Like it or not, it's real.
This article just gutted me for two reasons. First of all, it's titled "Aug. Death Toll for Reserves in Iraq Soars," and it examines how deadly the first 10 days of August have been for Reserves and National Guard members in Iraq (Thomas in NG). So it's a scary article for me to read to begin with.
However, there's another aspect that makes this article even more heartbreaking. The soldier featured, both in the article and in the photo, was one of "our" guys. Even worse, his Angel is a friend of mine. She received word of her soldier's death on her 21st birthday. She got the call while she was writing him a letter.
http://apnews.excite.com/article/20050812/D8BU7N0G0.html
This particular death hit me especially hard. I didn't know him while he was alive, but in the days since he was taken from us, his Angel and I have talked, and she's shared with me some stories about him, both funny and poignant, and even shared some of his words with me. Getting a glimpse into the soul of this man who was so excited to come home and resume his life--truly, there are no words for how painful it is. My heart aches for his family, friends and Angel, who have all lost such an amazing man. Hell, we've ALL lost him. Some of us just don't know it yet.
As an Angel, it's getting pretty damn hard to "keep our helmets on," as we say. How do I continue to support my troops when I'm feeling so broken and empty inside myself? I feel like I'M running out of steam. And yet they need us, now more than ever.
My first thought, of course, is, "Bring them the f*#& home!! How many more have to be killed over there?" But then, just today, on the Angel board, another one of our soldiers posted about how much he believes in what they're doing over there and how much of a difference they're making. So hell, if HE believes in the mission, than who am I to say it's wrong?
I don't know anymore, guys. I honestly can't even tell you how I feel about this war. I don't even KNOW if I support it or not. I've moved from one end of the spectrum to the other and now...I don't know. I want Thomas home. I want them ALL home. And I pray, all the time, for the families and friends who, almost every day, receive the devastating news that their loved one isn't coming home.
I'm sorry so much of my focus has been on the war lately. No, actually, I'm not. "Sorry" isn't the right word. I know it's not much fun to read these posts. But like it or not, this is what's going on over there, and I owe it to every single person, both those who have lost their lives and those who are still fighting, not to close my eyes or stick my head in the sand. Like it or not, it's real.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
My stand on the issues.
I know we've talked about some of these before, but I wanted to make sure that my very dearest friends know how I feel about some of the most important issues of the day.
Gay marriage: It drives me CRAZY when I hear straight people preaching about "the sanctity of marriage." Oh, so you mean our 50+% divorce rate is PRESERVING the sanctity of this holy institution? Yes, clearly, we heteros know ALL ABOUT marriage. Shit, if you ask me, I don't think WE should be allowed to get married anymore. I bet you that gay people wouldn't have such a high divorce rate:
Abortion: I know this is an especially heated subject. I will say that, although I'm not sure I could ever have one myself (although I'm not even ruling that out, depending on the situation), I fully believe that OTHERS should have the right to choose. I don't feel that MY beliefs--or the beliefs of any others, for that matter--should dictate what other people can or cannot do. Yes, ideally, there would be no unwanted pregnanciess--and if there were, they would be carried to term so that a childless couple could raise that baby--but let's face it, that's not going to happen. I've seen some "parents" (and I use the term loosely) who should NOT have a kid. Is a life in an abusive home or neglectful family really better than no life at all?
I am, however, against abortion used as birth control ("Oh, darn, I'm pregnant AGAIN? Better go make an appointment."). Abortion should be used as a last resort; it should not be a regular occurance. If you're really having that much trouble taking the pill or using a condom, then shit, go get Norplant or Depo or an IUD or something. I'm also uncomfortable with abortion after the first trimester--but that's just me.
Religion in schools: You know, this whole PC thing has gotten WAY out of hand. Yes, I know that not everyone prays to the same God--and that some people don't pray at all. And that's fine. But not being able to pray at graduation, or say the Pledge because of "under God," or even--I shit you not, this happened at that charter school I worked at a couple of years ago--put up a winter bulletin board with Santa Clause on it becuase "Santa" represented "Christmas," which would be offensive to the Muslims and Jehovah's Witnesses at the school. We couldn't even say "Happy Holidays"...well, all of that is going a bit far, if you ask me. We're trying to protect the "rights" of that--I don't know--10%, but what about the 90% who DO pray and DO celebrate Christmas? How come THEY no longer have THEIR freedom of religion?
I'm not trying to sound insensitive or racist in any way. I realize that our schools (and workplaces) today are more diverse than ever before. However, I do NOT believe that the beliefs of a few should take precedence over the beliefs of many. Yes, we're protecting the minority of students who DO have different beliefs and customs--but at the expense of the majority?
I'm well aware of the separation of church and state and that religion should not be in schools. But you know what? If you don't believe in the Pledge, don't say it. If you don't want to pray at graduation, then don't. But at least respect the overwhelming majority of people who DO want to, especially on such a special day. And as far as that bulletin board goes--it's a f*cking REINDEER, people. Get over it.
(I actually had more issues to discuss but I have to go get ready for work. So, while you're waiting for part 2, discuss these first few amongst yourselves. Agree or disagree, just keep it clean. And feel free to suggest other issues that you'd like me to sound off on.)
I know we've talked about some of these before, but I wanted to make sure that my very dearest friends know how I feel about some of the most important issues of the day.
Gay marriage: It drives me CRAZY when I hear straight people preaching about "the sanctity of marriage." Oh, so you mean our 50+% divorce rate is PRESERVING the sanctity of this holy institution? Yes, clearly, we heteros know ALL ABOUT marriage. Shit, if you ask me, I don't think WE should be allowed to get married anymore. I bet you that gay people wouldn't have such a high divorce rate:
Abortion: I know this is an especially heated subject. I will say that, although I'm not sure I could ever have one myself (although I'm not even ruling that out, depending on the situation), I fully believe that OTHERS should have the right to choose. I don't feel that MY beliefs--or the beliefs of any others, for that matter--should dictate what other people can or cannot do. Yes, ideally, there would be no unwanted pregnanciess--and if there were, they would be carried to term so that a childless couple could raise that baby--but let's face it, that's not going to happen. I've seen some "parents" (and I use the term loosely) who should NOT have a kid. Is a life in an abusive home or neglectful family really better than no life at all?
I am, however, against abortion used as birth control ("Oh, darn, I'm pregnant AGAIN? Better go make an appointment."). Abortion should be used as a last resort; it should not be a regular occurance. If you're really having that much trouble taking the pill or using a condom, then shit, go get Norplant or Depo or an IUD or something. I'm also uncomfortable with abortion after the first trimester--but that's just me.
Religion in schools: You know, this whole PC thing has gotten WAY out of hand. Yes, I know that not everyone prays to the same God--and that some people don't pray at all. And that's fine. But not being able to pray at graduation, or say the Pledge because of "under God," or even--I shit you not, this happened at that charter school I worked at a couple of years ago--put up a winter bulletin board with Santa Clause on it becuase "Santa" represented "Christmas," which would be offensive to the Muslims and Jehovah's Witnesses at the school. We couldn't even say "Happy Holidays"...well, all of that is going a bit far, if you ask me. We're trying to protect the "rights" of that--I don't know--10%, but what about the 90% who DO pray and DO celebrate Christmas? How come THEY no longer have THEIR freedom of religion?
I'm not trying to sound insensitive or racist in any way. I realize that our schools (and workplaces) today are more diverse than ever before. However, I do NOT believe that the beliefs of a few should take precedence over the beliefs of many. Yes, we're protecting the minority of students who DO have different beliefs and customs--but at the expense of the majority?
I'm well aware of the separation of church and state and that religion should not be in schools. But you know what? If you don't believe in the Pledge, don't say it. If you don't want to pray at graduation, then don't. But at least respect the overwhelming majority of people who DO want to, especially on such a special day. And as far as that bulletin board goes--it's a f*cking REINDEER, people. Get over it.
(I actually had more issues to discuss but I have to go get ready for work. So, while you're waiting for part 2, discuss these first few amongst yourselves. Agree or disagree, just keep it clean. And feel free to suggest other issues that you'd like me to sound off on.)
My, what skinny boobs you have.
New stats:
Bust: 40 (down 2 inches!!)
Waist: 33 (down 1 more inch)
Hips: 38 (still the same; I'm not sure this number will be able to go any smaller, especially after birthin' a baby)
So at least my top and bottom are a LITTLE more in proportion, although there is NO WAY I'll ever be able to get my waist small enough to achieve the "hourglass figure" effect (yes, I remember Renee posting that only a small percentage of women actually have that shape anyway). This is why I usually buy men's jeans; because I've NEVER had a really defined waist, even in my skinny days. I've always been narrow-hipped and my torso has always had more of a straight line--which is why guy's jeans fit me better.
As you were.
New stats:
Bust: 40 (down 2 inches!!)
Waist: 33 (down 1 more inch)
Hips: 38 (still the same; I'm not sure this number will be able to go any smaller, especially after birthin' a baby)
So at least my top and bottom are a LITTLE more in proportion, although there is NO WAY I'll ever be able to get my waist small enough to achieve the "hourglass figure" effect (yes, I remember Renee posting that only a small percentage of women actually have that shape anyway). This is why I usually buy men's jeans; because I've NEVER had a really defined waist, even in my skinny days. I've always been narrow-hipped and my torso has always had more of a straight line--which is why guy's jeans fit me better.
As you were.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
A special place in hell.
On the 31st, I told you about one of "our" heroes, Edward Myers, who was killed just days after being submitted to SA for support.
One of the other Angels posted the following article about a group of protestors at this young hero's funeral. I must warn you--if you have even an ounce of compassion, you are going to find this article hard to read.
http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/4816699/detail.html
HOWEVER, there's something you can do to help this family. I'm posting the link to an online tribute page for Spc. Myers. I beg all of you, even if you don't support the war, to please post a message of sympathy and respect for this young hero's family. I want to try to undo some of the damage that these assholes did.
http://www.fallenheroesmemorial.com/oif/profiles/myersedwardl.html
On the 31st, I told you about one of "our" heroes, Edward Myers, who was killed just days after being submitted to SA for support.
One of the other Angels posted the following article about a group of protestors at this young hero's funeral. I must warn you--if you have even an ounce of compassion, you are going to find this article hard to read.
http://www.thekansascitychannel.com/news/4816699/detail.html
HOWEVER, there's something you can do to help this family. I'm posting the link to an online tribute page for Spc. Myers. I beg all of you, even if you don't support the war, to please post a message of sympathy and respect for this young hero's family. I want to try to undo some of the damage that these assholes did.
http://www.fallenheroesmemorial.com/oif/profiles/myersedwardl.html
Diary of an insomniac.
After FINALLY hearing from Thomas on Friday after 5 long, tense of days of little sleep, I figured that last night, I would actually crash pretty quickly after getting into bed, rather than staring up at the ceiling, praying and calculating how much money it would cost to fly to Iraq and find him myself. As it turns out, though, there was no sleeping for Jen last night. I think I was still running on adreneline from the last few days--or maybe I was just fueled by my utter and complete euphoria that he was okay. Whatever the reason, I didn't go to bed until 6 am. Here's my story:
11:30 pm Watched Friends
Midnight - 1:00 am Talked to Thomas on the phone
1 - 1:30 Watched Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
1:30 - 2:15 Walked
2:15 - 3:15 Played on the Soldiers' Angels message board; wrote a letter to the NY Times
3:15 Thought, "That guinea pig cage stinks."
3:30 Thought, "Shit, that guinea pig cage REALLY stinks."
3:40 Decided that I must clean out the guinea pig cage RIGHT NOW
3:45 Realized we were out of clean bedding
3:55 Drove to the all-night grocery store for bedding.
4:15 Walked in the door with hamster bedding, the new People magazine with Jennifer Aniston (seriously, Brad, are you crazy?) and a watermelon ($2.88, whoo hoo!!) as Jeff was getting up for work (he had to open today)
4:15-4:18 Tried to explain to a very perplexed Jeff why I was returning from the store at 4:15 am with hamster bedding, the new People magazine and a watermelon
4:20 - 4:30 Cleaned guinea pig cage
4:30 Ate watermelon, watched The Cosby Show
5:00 - 6:00 Read my new People magazine
6:00 Finally went to sleep
After FINALLY hearing from Thomas on Friday after 5 long, tense of days of little sleep, I figured that last night, I would actually crash pretty quickly after getting into bed, rather than staring up at the ceiling, praying and calculating how much money it would cost to fly to Iraq and find him myself. As it turns out, though, there was no sleeping for Jen last night. I think I was still running on adreneline from the last few days--or maybe I was just fueled by my utter and complete euphoria that he was okay. Whatever the reason, I didn't go to bed until 6 am. Here's my story:
11:30 pm Watched Friends
Midnight - 1:00 am Talked to Thomas on the phone
1 - 1:30 Watched Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
1:30 - 2:15 Walked
2:15 - 3:15 Played on the Soldiers' Angels message board; wrote a letter to the NY Times
3:15 Thought, "That guinea pig cage stinks."
3:30 Thought, "Shit, that guinea pig cage REALLY stinks."
3:40 Decided that I must clean out the guinea pig cage RIGHT NOW
3:45 Realized we were out of clean bedding
3:55 Drove to the all-night grocery store for bedding.
4:15 Walked in the door with hamster bedding, the new People magazine with Jennifer Aniston (seriously, Brad, are you crazy?) and a watermelon ($2.88, whoo hoo!!) as Jeff was getting up for work (he had to open today)
4:15-4:18 Tried to explain to a very perplexed Jeff why I was returning from the store at 4:15 am with hamster bedding, the new People magazine and a watermelon
4:20 - 4:30 Cleaned guinea pig cage
4:30 Ate watermelon, watched The Cosby Show
5:00 - 6:00 Read my new People magazine
6:00 Finally went to sleep
Friday, August 05, 2005
Your Moment
Ralph Marston (thanks to Renee for the email)
Today is the day things will start to go right. Now is the moment when life can begin to be the best that you can imagine.
The time has now arrived for you to make real, substantial and lasting progress. For you are, without a doubt, ready, willing and able.
The past is no longer in a position to hold you back. This is a new day, and every disappointment is already far behind you.
Ahead, there are possibilities too numerous to even count. Look closely, with your heart, and the best of those possibilities will come shining through.
There is no reason to hold yourself back any longer. This is your moment to shine, this is your day to live with fullness, with richness, with joy and with love.
This very moment, all of life surrounds you, supports you, encourages you and pulls you toward the best you can be. Dive in to the golden opportunity that is now, and know how it feels to be fully alive.
Ralph Marston (thanks to Renee for the email)
Today is the day things will start to go right. Now is the moment when life can begin to be the best that you can imagine.
The time has now arrived for you to make real, substantial and lasting progress. For you are, without a doubt, ready, willing and able.
The past is no longer in a position to hold you back. This is a new day, and every disappointment is already far behind you.
Ahead, there are possibilities too numerous to even count. Look closely, with your heart, and the best of those possibilities will come shining through.
There is no reason to hold yourself back any longer. This is your moment to shine, this is your day to live with fullness, with richness, with joy and with love.
This very moment, all of life surrounds you, supports you, encourages you and pulls you toward the best you can be. Dive in to the golden opportunity that is now, and know how it feels to be fully alive.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Happy Anniversary Cube Rats
The company I work for is celebrating its 20 Year Anniversary next week. Yay. Are they taking us all to a fabulous restaurant or resort to celebrate? Ah no, they’re taking us to a park for the afternoon.
To prepare for this auspicious occasion, the company of about 50 people has been split into 5 teams with each team told to create something that symbolizes the company to us. This is officially referred to as the Anniversary Craft Project.
Yesterday morning we were given the next exciting surprise. We are each to choose 1 to 5 words, describing what the company means to us. At the Anniversary Picnic, we will be lined up in two facing lines and the CEO’s anniversary plaque will be handed up the line. As the plaque is passed to us we are to say our 1 to 5 words and then pass the plaque along.
The only thing left to make this a real 2nd Grade End of the Year Banquet would be if they made us all sing a song together. Jen has been kind enough to volunteer to be my mom to camcorder the Program. I said ok, but only if she spit on a tissue and wiped my face clean with it.
The only saving grace of this whole Anniversary Extravaganza is that at least they’ll be serving free alcohol all afternoon.
The company I work for is celebrating its 20 Year Anniversary next week. Yay. Are they taking us all to a fabulous restaurant or resort to celebrate? Ah no, they’re taking us to a park for the afternoon.
To prepare for this auspicious occasion, the company of about 50 people has been split into 5 teams with each team told to create something that symbolizes the company to us. This is officially referred to as the Anniversary Craft Project.
Yesterday morning we were given the next exciting surprise. We are each to choose 1 to 5 words, describing what the company means to us. At the Anniversary Picnic, we will be lined up in two facing lines and the CEO’s anniversary plaque will be handed up the line. As the plaque is passed to us we are to say our 1 to 5 words and then pass the plaque along.
The only thing left to make this a real 2nd Grade End of the Year Banquet would be if they made us all sing a song together. Jen has been kind enough to volunteer to be my mom to camcorder the Program. I said ok, but only if she spit on a tissue and wiped my face clean with it.
The only saving grace of this whole Anniversary Extravaganza is that at least they’ll be serving free alcohol all afternoon.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Bible Rock.
Okay, here's something a little more upbeat.
Paige went to a summer Bible camp thing last week (I'll give a couple of you a moment to chuckle and/or pick yourselves off the floor at the revelation that KATEY sent her daughter to a BIBLE CAMP). On Friday night, they had a little concert to show off some of the songs they've learned. One of the songs that Paige's group sang was to the tune of that old "Louie Louie" song. The chorus is:
Pharoah Pharoah
Ohhhh baby
Let my people go
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
And then they make that noise...I don't how to spell it but it's the "thrusting sound"--like, "UH."
Mom and Katey were just hysterical.
Okay, here's something a little more upbeat.
Paige went to a summer Bible camp thing last week (I'll give a couple of you a moment to chuckle and/or pick yourselves off the floor at the revelation that KATEY sent her daughter to a BIBLE CAMP). On Friday night, they had a little concert to show off some of the songs they've learned. One of the songs that Paige's group sang was to the tune of that old "Louie Louie" song. The chorus is:
Pharoah Pharoah
Ohhhh baby
Let my people go
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
And then they make that noise...I don't how to spell it but it's the "thrusting sound"--like, "UH."
Mom and Katey were just hysterical.
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