You know what? SCREW THAT.
Okay, I'm done allowing someone else to make all the decisions that affect MY life (such as my job and where I live).
Noah came home from preschool today with an AWESOME report card; he has made so much improvement since the first half of the year. His mom is really happy with his progress and attributes a large part of that to me (I've been working with these kids since January).
And you know what? I love these kids. I don't want to leave yet. I mean, I'll have to at the end of the summer anyway for student teaching, but at least that's on MY terms, for MY reasons. Not someone else's.
So I'm talking to Jeff tonight. If he still insists that he wants me out for the summer, so be it. I'm looking into rooms for rent. It will set me back a bit financially, but screw it. I'll live in a motel if I have to. If someone else can't act like an adult, fine. And who knows, if I sit him down reasonably and calmly and outline the reasons I want to stay--if he understands that this is about more than just him or "us", that it's my job and these kids--maybe he'll agree. Or hell, if he'd even relent enough to let me stay there for PART of the summer, reducing the number of weeks that I'd have to rent out a rooom somewhere else, that'd be great.
But you know what? I'm not going to quit a job that I love and move back home, taking the chance that I'll get stuck with a job I hate--or, even worse, that I won't be able to FIND a job--and be miserable all summer. This is my life too, dammit. But I'm not DONE with these kids yet. I'm not ready to move on. There's still so much I can do with them, so much I can teach them this summer. Plus, I kind of need them, too. They're one of the few bright spots in my life at the moment.
So I'll talk to Mrs S. tonight and let her know to keep looking for a nanny (again, they'll need one in the fall anyway) but that there's no rush, because (unless she thinks I'm totally crazy by now) I really want to stick around. (She understands that my current living arrangement has been a bit "unstable" recently, so she knows WHY things have been so uncertain in recent weeks.)
12 comments:
I'm already on roommates.com but I dont have any furniture! I got rid of my bed when I moved in with him! So I'm not sure that will work; I'm looking in the papers still for furnished rooms.
Coming out of lurkedom to offer you encouragement in your situation. These things are tough to get through, but I've read through your blog (which I enjoyed very much by the way--you are a talented writer!) & I think you sound like a very strong person. Good Luck!
Thanks Tina!!!
And, um, thanks Keith. (???)
good for you! stand up for yourself and don't let him control you or your situation. is there any way you can stay with the S's? do they have a guestroom or something?
and what's up with that keith guy??
take care - good luck
~b
Here's my concern about staying with the S's.
I love those kids. But today, for example, I was exhausted after being there for 11 hours. I could not WAIT to go home to a quiet, kid free apartment and relax.
Now imagine, if you will, that I live there. I get done with an exhausting day and I go...wait, no where, CUZ I'M ALREADY HOME.
Now I know that I could work things out with them so that after hours time is a "do not disturb" time (they do have a tv downstairs and a guest room with a private bathroom...I know, I know, you guys are all thinking, MORON, HELLO, THERE'S YOUR ANSWER). But I'm still concerned about working where I live...but I'm going to talk to Jeff first and see what he says. Even if we can do a two weeks here, two weeks there kind of thing, that would work.
I did check out a motel and frankly, I was scared. It was in the redneck ghetto. (And I think a Redneck Ghetto is even scarier than an inner city ghetto, actually.)
Update on this, too. Jeff and I talked tonight; I'm staying here. He knows how important this job is to me. I've already talked to the S's and promised them that this is my "final answer." They're still looking for a new nanny, of course, but now they have through mid August or so to find someone good. She's really relieved that they don't have to try to find someone new in the next week, and she's happy that I'm staying.
And Jeff promised that no matter what happens with "us," my place here for the summer is definite. I believe him. As far as "we" go, we're not defining it. We're just...going with the flow. Things have been going pretty well lately, so we're just going to ride the wave and see what happens.
Renee, I'm so with you on everything you said! I'm kinda worried that something minor and insignificant will piss him off again and he's back to the get out of MY place kinda thing.
Jen, I'm glad to see you sticking up for yourself and I really hope you're able to make this work, if for nothing else than you being able to be with those kids! Wishing you the best!
LMAO!! Renee are we a bit angry with someone? I don't think LoB is any kind of bastard though.
Yeah, Rob...THAT'S why you're still single.
Ya know, I've heard this a lot from my guy friends and I'm starting to think that it's pretty true in a lot of cases. Chicks WANT the asshole guy! There are more and more guys getting turned down with the reason being that they're too nice. What the f#@k is that all about. Dan was just telling me his experiences the other night and I hate to say it, bt more often than not, the bad boy wins!
To all the "nice" boys out there, don't give up, there are plenty of girls out here who have some sense and are looking for men, not little boys!
Renee, we'll be bent about him together!
Shut up Renee, I am not.
;)
Renne, you quoting "your man Tupac" is too damn funny for words!
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