I have good news coming out of my ass

GN #1: Blue Streak gets AWESOME gas mileage. He was just over half full when I got him--and now, almost a week later, he's just UNDER half full. A whole week of driving! I know! (And yes, they didn't give him to me with a full tank of gas. The guy drove it down to the station to put in 8 gallons or so but come on--it's KIA, not Mercedes.) ;)

GN #2: I'm off today and tomorrow for Rosh Hashana. A 4-day weekend--sweet. I love Jewish people.

GN #3: I'm down another 3 pounds, for a total of 5 so far. I'm now at a weight (146) I haven't been in over a year that wasn't flu- or heartbreak-induced. 6 more pounds, baby! If this keeps up I should be there by my 31st, easily.

GN #4: Yesterday was a pretty big day. It was the official one-month mark since I quit this last time. I haven't made it a month in....well, a while. And I'm still going strong. I needed the gum pretty heavily that first couple of weeks, but it hit me the other day that I haven't needed it in a while. I still carry it around with me, though. Just in case.

There's a funny story with this, though. Yesterday after work, I went out with 2 guy teachers, M. and C. When M. asked how the quitting was going, I realized that that day was my 1-month, and I told them so. "And I've only slipped a couple times in the whole month!" I proudly told them.

They looked at each other. "So you HAVE smoked in the last month?" M. asked with an evil glint in his eye. I could tell that these boys, aka The Brothers I Never Wanted, were about to bust my balls.

"Well, yeah," I said. "But I only had, like, 2 cigarettes. In a MONTH. Normally, I would have smoked 500 in that time."

"So you haven't QUIT," said C. "You're just smoking LESS."

"Oh, please!" I defended myself. "2 cigarettes does not a smoker make. From 500 to 2?? I'm doing AWESOME. Plus, my online support group says that it's okay, even normal, to have a slip. That doesn't count."

They looked at each other. "So..." said C. "I could cheat on my wife"--note: C. is single-- "and I could say, 'But it was just one time! It doesn't count! And baby, I'm doing it a lot less than I was! Isn't that great??' "

The boys are both snickering now.

"AND," added M., "even if you DID, you could just go online to your support group and they'd say, 'Hey! Don't beat yourself up! It was just a slip!' "

By this point, of course, the guys were laughing their asses off. They thought they were hysterical. I just crossed my arms and silently stared at them--it was the "teacher stare" that I've mastered this last month.

M. caught my eye and suddenly stopped laughing. "Sorry, Jen," he mumbled. "You're right. Congratulations."

Ha! The teacher stare even works on OTHER TEACHERS!

(It WAS funny, though.)

And finally, GN #5: When you put #3 and #4 together, I have actually lost 5 pounds WHILE quitting smoking! (Soon to be 10 pounds!) Whoo hoo!!!