Thursday, September 20, 2007

Well, our smoke alarm works


As I was watching Must See TV tonight, a piercing shriek suddenly filled the condo.

I frantically jumped up and, disoriented, tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Was it a tornado siren? (We had a drill today at school due to some severe weather so I had tornadoes on the brain.) Suddenly, I realized that it was the smoke alarm.

And a split second after THAT, I realized why.

I went tear-assing into the kitchen (running into the stripper pole as I rounded the corner from my room into the dining room), where I found a bit of a "situation" on the stove.

See, I had been boiling one of my Pure Romance Hot Heart Massagers. Basically, they're reusable heat packs that are just WONDERFUL. To "reset" them for subsequent use, you simply boil them for 7-10 minutes. Due to being wrapped up in my TV viewing, however, I had inadvertantly been boiling mine for 45-60 minutes.

Anyway, to make a long story short: the water had completely evaporated, the Massager had exploded and the plastic remnants had caught fire.

No exaggeration: the smoke was so thick that my eyes were watering and burning. The noxious fumes probably explain why I had started to feel slightly dizzy.

Everything is back under control now, although I probably have some irritated neighbors. Seeing as how the average age of residents in these condos is roughly 105 and the average bedtime is about 6 pm--and seeing as how I had to throw open every door and window to get the shrieking to stop--they probably weren't too appreciative of all the action coming out of Unit 810.

Never a dull moment.




Renee said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, at least we know you'll be safe--save for smoke inhalation-- the next time you over-boil a sex toy ;-)

Jen said...

Okay in all fairness, those heart massagers really aren't used for sex.

Well, not always. ;)

Renee said...

I know. But before you described what it actually WAS, it SOUNDS like one-- Hot Heart MASSAGERS. And, LOL, you boiled the SHIT outta that poor thing!

Renee said...

How did you not smell the stench of burning plastic?

Anna said...

Cooking can be dangerous.
I remember a story about someone starting a fire in their apartment when they overcooked popcorn and threw the bag away.
I slightly remember a story about someone starting something on fire trying to make cookies, too.

Renee said...

LOLOL! By the way you state those remembrances, they're either you or Jen. Are you gonna spill?

Jen said...

Renee: do you really have to ask? =-)

Renee said...

LOL. How do you start something on fire baking cookies? LOLOLOL.

Jen said...


A piece of cookie or dough dropped down to the "floor" of the stove and..well...

let's just say Jeff and I got a surprise when I opened the door of the stove. =-)

He didnt let me bake cookies after that.

Hell, Brad is threatening to get me a "guardian" for the times he has to leave the condo.

I THINK he's kidding.

Renee said...


Anonymous said...


at your pictures

Anonymous said...

and you wonder why I worry about you