Saturday, September 01, 2007

NOTE: This post will make a lot more sense if you read the post below this one first.

The first few lines of my book....

....would go something like this:


Sitting in my psychiatrist’s office, it began to sink in. I was single, 30—and, as of five seconds ago, diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

There are, I’ve since learned, many common, typical reactions to the initial diagnosis. Thoughts like: How will this affect my job—and, for that matter, my health insurance? How do I tell my friend and family (DO I tell them at all?!)? Will I have to be admitted to a mental hospital? Do I need to be on medication for the rest of my life?

Not me, though. No, for me, the first thing to float through my mind as tears welled up in my eyes was, Like dating wasn’t hard enough before. Wasn’t I approaching the age where you had a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than you did of finding a successful romantic relationship? And now I was adding “mental illness” into the equation? Hell, I might as well save myself the trouble and invest in several bright-colored, multi-patterned moo-moos and begin buying cat food in bulk (for me, not for any actual cats)?"

And then I'd go on to talk about some version of my post below.

Obviously, a lot of this book is on hold for a while, since I'm just beginning the DWB (Dating With Bipolar) process. I hope, of course, that this book has a happy ending. I hope that I DO find someone out there, so I can show that YES, you CAN find happiness with bipolar disorder, that you CAN find someone who will love you, warts and all.

Possible chapters include the first couple of dates; when do you tell him and how; how to survive the first "episode" of the relationship; possible triggers this new relationship could bring (fights, jealousy, etc); sex with bipolar disorder ("No, you can't give him some of your lithium to make it extra great"); and then, of course, engagement and all that.

OH!!!! THE SEQUEL COULD BE "Planning a Wedding with BD." LOL. The subtitle could be: "Everyone knows that planning a wedding makes you crazy. But what do you do when you start out that way?"


Anyway, first things first. What do we think? BE HONEST. If it's a horrible idea (or a horrible beginning), it's better to tell me now.


Renee said...

LMAO! I actually think it's a great idea, and a great beginning :-) I always thought you should be an author. You're hilariously witty and have great writing skills! Start keeping a journal of notes, if you haven't already!

You should still call your doctor, though, and let her know about the symptoms you've been having. Holiday weekend or not... I'm sure psychiatrist's, of all doctors, don't let their patients hang for a three-day weekend without getting back to them in SOME regard.

Jen said...

I'm actually doing better today. On saturday, the day I wrote that (and felt a little..."odd"), I just stayed in. You know the scene at the end of "40 Days and 40 Nights," when Josh Hartnett is close to the end of his vow and is losing willpower, so he has his friend handcuff him to the bed because he doesn't know what he's capable of? That's kind of how I felt on Saturday. I didn't DARE go out that night, just in case.

"The night," as I'll always refer to it in my head, the night that shit went down--we were at the beach during the day and I was fine. perhaps a bit flirtier and chattier than usual, but I was okay. Had I just gone home with Dave that day like I was supposed to, I truly believe everything would have been fine. But I went out drinking with J. and one of Dave's friends instead. And I drank a LOT. And of course, back then, I wasn't as informed and researched (does that make sense?) as I am now, so I didn't KNOW that alcohol, esp. large amounts, can easily take someone from that slight mania to a full-blown "she-devil" attack.

ANYWAY....what was my point? On yeah. I'm better now. I even went out last night for dinner, had 1.5 glasses of wine, and I was okay. I feel much more "calm" now. I will mention it to her though, and ask what I should do for next time. Tehre's gotta be something besides virtually putting myself on lockdown.

Renee said...

Yay that you're feeling better! I'm glad you recognized it and went on lockdown :-) But yeah, there should be something else you can do...

Did you have a date last night?

Renee said...

And, btw, I like the new blog look!

Ms. Longhorn LOVES Math! said...

I would definitely read that book! It sounds hilarious! You are very witty! :)

Anna said...

You'd make a great author - We've been saying so for years! I'm still waiting for your funny teaching anecdotes book. ;) I love the BP book idea!

Anonymous said...

I have told you a million times, you could write books about so many things. But this especially, and you could probably help other people too.

LOL Renee is right - you are your funniest when your life is not going the best.


Anonymous said...

Renee is right again -

journal, journal, journal!!

well I guess this kind of one, huh?

Anna said...

I don't understand the last comment.

Renee said...

I think it was Deb again, saying that the blog is kind of a journal