Easter and stuff

Hello, everyone. I hope you all had a blessed and/or fun and relaxing Easter, depending on your religious beliefs. =-) Mine was actually great; spent the day with friends. Easter wine (which was just regular wine consumed on Easter), a fancy dinner (well, for us) and cornhole were all a part of the day's festivities. Oh, and my non-cooking ass was promoted from bringing cheese and crackers to deviled eggs. And they turned out really good!! (Is it bad to eat deviled eggs on Easter? Ha.)

As many of you know, I had a rather eventful Easter morning. I went to church (which is noteworthy in and of itself), but while I was there, an older (I think) gentleman crashed or coded or whatever. They had him in the room where you usually take crying babies and wiggly kids, so of course there was a huge glass window looking into the worship area. They closed the blinds while they were working on him but not all the way, and I had a clear shot into the room. I of course tried to focus on the service, but it was virtually impossible with everything going on. And can I just say, it was very unnerving that they even continued with the service. I mean, I know Easter is an important one, but you had a gathering of 300+ religious souls and a man literally dying in the next room. Shouldn't we have stopped and, oh, prayed for him? Anyway, I could see volunteers giving him CPR and then the medics when they got there. They were still working on him as they hurridly wheeled him out, but it didn't look good. Many of you have asked what ever came of that situation, and I don't know. I watched the news that night but they didn't say anything, and I'm checking the news websites now; I'll let you know.

So that's about all right now. Spring Break so far is fab; pool time with friends, reading, watching movies....*bliss.* Will probably hit the beach one day this week, too. Weather is perfect....85 and sunny. How are all of you?

GREAT F'IN DAY

Two amazing things happened today. (The day wasn't ALL sunshine and roses, mind you; at one point, I had to yell loud enough in the cafeteria that I actually peed a little. But it was end-capped in different but yet equally spectacular fashions.)

First: this morning, a very cryptic email was waiting for us from our current "principal" (and I use the term loosely), talking about evaluating the situation and adjusting staffing to better meet the current needs. We knew something was afoot, and once the team leads came out of the morning meeting, we had more information: basically, our principal of curriculum, who we love and was Mrs. A's right-hand woman last year, will be taking over of the day-to-day running of our school. Our principal is still technically our principal, but basically in name only. (They didn't come out and say that, but that's what it boils down to.) Frankly, I think this is our company's first step is phasing her out.

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! After my last post, you may have noticed that I was feeling a bit down about how things were being run under new leadership. Well, for all intents and purposes, she's now gone. It's like a huge weight was lifted; already, you can sense a change in the building. It's FABULOUS.

And then, to cap off this day: I won $100 on a $5 scratch-off lottery ticket!! I can count on both hands the number of times I've bothered to even stop and by those things. Still, April was buying one, so I thought sure, why not. I even went back through the check-out lane to buy a pack of gum so I could get cash back for the tickets. The one I got (I forgot what it was called) has 4 lucky numbers at the top and then 12 squares on the bottom. If a number in one of the squares matches one of your lucky numbers, you win the amount in that square. Well, the first or second box that I scratched off matched, and I won $10. And hell, I was excited enough THEN. I was jumping around and everyone in line was laughing at me. Then I scratched off the next box...and the next box...and the next one. When all was said and done, 10 out of the 12 boxes matched one of my 4 numbers (each at $10 a pop). By the bottom of the card, we were just giddy. It was so funny. After the fifth one, I was like, "I MUST be reading this game wrong. There must be more to it than this" (you know, like maybe a whole row has to be the same number or something). I gave it to the guy (who, of course, had been cheering with us the whole time) and said, "Please just scan this for me. Tell me if I did this right." And he was like, "Yup. You just won $100."

(I split it with April, since we each bought 2 $5 tickets and were kind of doing it together. I know, I'm awesome.)

So yeah...a pretty damn good start AND finish to the day.

F--- My Life

Fred turned me on to the BEST website ever. It's fmylife.com (see title of post), where people post funny (to everyone else but them) shit that happens. It's now the new light of my currently uber-stressed life. THIS post, however, was extra hysterical, for reasons that will become abundantly clear:

"Today, I was told I have bipolar disorder. I'm 31. It took so long to diagnose because my mom 'always figured I was just a super bitch half the time'. FML"

No, I didn't write that one....but I could have.

Plot twist!

I was playing around on the Build a Bear website (because what childless 32 year old woman DOESN'T do that from time to time?) and on a lark, I hit the "apply for a position" button and pasted my resume. I actually applied last year, because I'd had such a great time there the few times I took my Little Sister, and I remember thinking, Well, if I have to have a part-time job, then Build a Bear would be a really fun one. I never received a response, though, and didn't expect to hear anything this time, either. After all, aren't we in the middle of a historic economic downturn? Isn't unemployment at an all-time high?

Not at BAB, apparently. I received an email from the Chief Workshop Manager about half an hour later. She "would love to speak to me more." Of course she would; after all, who could resist THIS charming combination of ass-kissery and humor? "I am a 5th grade teacher who is looking for a part-time job. I am available evening and weekends. Obviously, I work well with and relate well to kids. In addition, I have more Build a Bears than any self-respecting adult should. I've had a lot of fun every time I've come into your workshop, and I'd love to help provide that type of experience to others."

What can I say? I was on a roll.

Here's the twist: the job I'm interviewing for is not a regular sales associate position...I'd be a part-time Associate Manager.

Hell, yeah!

I responded and made sure she understood that I'm a full-time teacher and am only available nights and weekends, but if that schedule worked for the position then yes, I would love to talk to her. She wrote back and said that that schedule would absolutely meet their needs, and she's excited to meet with me. I'm going to call her on Monday and set something up.

I don't WANT a part-time job, but I need to, at least to get back on top of my bills and things. Since I'm not team lead this year, I'm going to have a lot more free time. I'll definitely have to manage my time well, and it'll be tough for a while, but having 2 jobs always is--and a lot of people are having to take on 2nd jobs in this economy. And like I said, working at BAB would be FUN; and if it's in management, then that's even better. At least I'd be making a little more money while I was there.

I'll keep you updated.

Plot twist

After 16 years of smoking...my desire for cigarettes is gone.

No patches, no pills, no gum, nothing. I just don't want to smoke anymore. It's been like this since I got back to Florida.

(This does NOT, of course, count Thursday night, when I was out with my friends. I'm talking about my day-to-day, regular life.)

Is it because I was finally ready to quit? Because I actually WANT to stop this time? Is my body just "smoked out"? Or is this some weird temporary glitch?

All I know is that in the last week, I've only smoked once, when I was out at Shoeless Joes. And it hasn't even been HARD.

Please, please, PLEASE let this be it. PLEASE let me be done smoking. Please let this sudden strength and willpower I feel now to still be here tomorrow....in a week....in a month.

That's just WEIRD

So by now, we know that we lost Michael Jackson today. However, I have a slightly different view, if you will, on the days' events.

Liz and I were down at the hotel bar this evening, having a glass of wine (shocking, I know). We were talking about Farrah Fawcett, and since Ed McMahon also died this week, I mentioned to her that my mom often says that celebrity deaths happen in threes (many people say "bad things happen in threes," but for Mom, it's just celebrities). "So watch," I said at about 5 pm today. "Someone else relatively famous is going to die in the next couple of days."

"Oh, that's ridiculous," Liz said. "And anyway, it depends on your definition of 'celebrity.' I'm sure if you look hard enough, then SURE, you'll be able to find someone that SOMEONE has heard of who dies in the near fiuture."

TEN MINUTES LATER, on the flat screen TV directly in front of us: Michael Jackson has been taken to the hospital in cardiac arrest.

We just looked at each other.

I opened my mouth.

"Shut up," she said. "First of all, it's cardiac arrest. He's not dead YET. And second, that's just an incredibly weird coincidence."

Thirty minutes later: The King of Pop is pronounced dead.

"Okay," she said. "That's pretty f*ckin' weird, I give you that."

And you know what, HE was pretty f*ckin' weird, especially in the last part of his life. But he was also a true iconic legend. And watching it on the news was just SURREAL. Michael Jackson, dead? And out of nowhere like that?

That glass of wine, by the way, turned into several. The bar was packed, but it was silent. Everyone was just glued to the TV. For me, it's like Princess Di or the Challenger disaster: I'll always remember where I was when I heard the news.

And for once, I don't even have a smartass comment to make.

(Well, except: at least we don't have to hear about Jon and f*cking Kate anymore.)

The question

Sent out to some of my nearest and dearest via email:

If you saw ME in a police car what would you think I got arrested for? Reply to me, alone, then fwd this on and see how many crimes you get accused of.

The answers (word for word, except for #3)

1) Drunk & Disorderly Conduct at Girl's Weekend! And we'll all be right there with you ;)

2) Beating up one of your students' parents for swearing in the hallway

3) This reply contained an elaborate and very detailed story, the content of which is too dirty for me to even be able to post. It involved me dressed up "as a 'bad' teacher complete with plaid skirt, white button-up, and black buckle shoes." I'll give you 3 guesses as to who this was, but you'll only need one. (It did make for very interesting mid-day reading, however). ;)

4) Battery or assault. Possibly prostitution ;-)

5) Um, didn't this actually HAPPEN to you?

6) Killing me for getting married before you! Which we both know is going to happen.

7) Lewd and lascivious acts, definitely!

8) HOOKING!!!

Hmmm. There is a definite pattern to these answers? LOL

If anyone else would like to share a response (Fred?), post 'em here....

Drunken karaokee

This is a video of one of my old, old friends at the bar last weekend. Skip ahead to 4:55, when he actually starts singing. I couldn't place the song at first--until he hit the first high note in the very, very recognizable chorus (hint: it's a Prince song, and the chorus is essentially two words: the name of the song). I have to say--to ME, it sounds he actually hits the damn high note--but then again, that's not saying much, on account of my tone-deafness. Whether it's technically "good" or not, though (and it very well may be), you sure don't expect THIS to come out of HIM, and either way, it's most definitely entertaining. Heads up: just don't watch with kids around.

Added bonus: check out the random guy from the audience who gets up on stage to "back up dance".

Take the time to view even the first minute or two. Come on, you know you have nothing else to do. And after all, it comes to you Jen Recommended and Jen Endorsed....

The eagle has landed

So first, I have to say that this experience was even better than my first jump like 8 years ago. (Has it really been that long??) The first time, I was just--to use a term I coined today--"a big frozen ball of what-the-fuck." The whole thing was a blur and I was too terrified to really enjoy it. Today, though, was a whole different story. I was able to stay in the moment and actually SKYDIVE.

The worst part of the whole process was the waiting. Once we got there, it was a good hour before we were able to suit up and take off--and every minute was torture, I tell you. I don't think I sat down once. I paced back and forth like a caged lion, cracking my knuckles (and I'm not even a knuckle-cracker!) and watching all these jumpers falling out of the sky. "OMG," Hot Teacher (hereafter referred to as HT) commented at one point, trying to loosen me up. (And yes, he pronounced it as "Oh-em-gee.") "It's your dream come true! It is actually raining men right now!" You would think that watching jumper after jumper land safely would make me feel better, but no. It just gave me more time to ponder exactly what the hell I'd been thinking, and to make a mental note to call my crazy doc because CLEARLY my meds needed to be upped.

But once they started strapping me up, I started to feel calmer. I even felt pretty steady on the plane ride up (at least, I *thought* I did at the time. The facial expressions captured by the DVD, however, tell a different story. And as we started to slide up the bench towards the front of the plane--well, it looked like my jumpmaster was trying to throw a cat into a bathtub). The guys all did a good job of joking around with me to try to keep me distracted (although at one point, HT's jumpmaster looked at my pack and casually remarked to my instructor, Dave: "Oh, so they were able to get the blood stains out of that one, huh?" I glared at him. "Not funny yet?" he replied).




Dave and I. Yes, for an older guy, he is absolutely gorgeous. His eyes are actually the same exact blue as the sky.







Suddenly, we were at an altitude of 14,000 feet--and they opened the door of the plane. One by one, the people in line ahead of me started disappearing from sight and literally dropping into thin air. I took a deep breath and resolved not to let myself feel the fear. After all, what good would it do at this point? Backing out wasn't even an option--my students think I'm a rock star for doing this, and there's no way I could have shown up on Monday and seen the looks on their faces when I told them I couldn't go through with it. Plus, it was kind of easy NOT to be scared--it all seemed so surreal. My brain was unable to process the fact that I was seconds away from falling out of an airplane. It was almost like watching it happen to someone else.

And then it was my turn. As I'd been taught, I crouched down and hung the toes of my shoes over the edge of the doorway. Once I had my balance, I let go of the door frame (that was actually the scariest part) and wrapped my arms around my knees, cannon-ball style. Dave counted off, "One!" And we rocked forward. "Two!" We rocked back. And then..."Three!"--and we were somersaulting into the clouds.





They don't call me crazy for nothin'













So what'd YOU do today?






And I was flying! Last time, I was so terrified that I don't think I let go of my pack. This time, I was able to let go and spread my arms out, Superman-style. (This is the equivalent of letting go of the bar and raising your arms way up as you go down on a roller coaster.) I was even able to give my Ron, camera guy, a thumbs-up and a couple of waves as we plummeted to the ground at 120 mph. Dave also spun me around a few times for good measure (he'd asked for permission before we went up, and I told him that I'd be pissed if he DIDN'T).





My boobs and I are fearless











Reaching out to pull Ron over to say hello, up close and personal. Notice that I'm still wearing a perma-grin.











Even at 10,000 feet, I can still flirt with the cute camera guy.






You free-fall for about 60 seconds. My first time, it seemed like the longest minute of my life, and I couldn't wait for the parachute to open. This time, I was almost bummed as I felt the snap and sharp jerk upwards that told me the chute had been deployed. (Of course, I would have been even MORE bummed if it hadn't, LOL.) But it also meant that it was time for the SECOND best part of the experience--floating down to the ground.






It works! Holla!






Once the chute opens, you're enveloped in a cone of silence. Again, last time I jumped, I was still frozen with fear, even at this point in the jump. Today, however, he put my hands into the straps and let me steer the chute. (It's not rocket science--to go to the right, you pull on the right strap.) This part, the floating part, lasts for about 5 minutes--I don't know, maybe it was more. I was just gazing around, steering and laughing with delight when he'd give the straps a tug and make us spin around in lazy circles.

As we came in for our landing, it seemed that the ground was approaching at an alarming rate of speed. But then he pulled on both straps, making the chute bend into an upside-down "U"--and we suddenly slowed down and hit our target landing spot dead-on. (My only regret of the day: I didn't land on my feet, AGAIN.) And that's when we got THIS shot:

This picture was taken during the filming of my post-jump interview. Ron asked how it was, and I said, almost trance-like: "It was...so amazing." And then suddenly I perk up and go, "And I did good, too!! I was flyin'," and I do this weird little airplane thing with my arms. I think I actually made airplane noises, too. I looked like I was mentally impaired. It was even more hysterical to watch because I don't remember a single moment of it. I honestly think that I was a little loopy, either from adreneline or all of the changes in altitude.

As I stood up, Ron asked if I had any final words for my students, and I cockily replied, "I think the video speaks for itself. Yeah...I'm pretty awesome."

Seriously, the DVD is SO funny. I'm trying to get it uploaded but that may not be till tomorrow.

Final note: HT landed after me (you can see him coming in on my video). Like me, he landed sitting down--only he didn't get up. A couple of the guys went over there, and realizing that something was up, I headed over, too. Turns out, a few seconds after his parachute deployed, he almost passed out. He was totally fine during the freefall part, but I guess he got this huge head rush once the chute opened. Dave said that it's actually pretty common--you have all that adreneline from falling, and then suddenly, in a matter of seconds, you're just kind of "sitting there" (albeit way, way up in the sky), and your body kind of OD's on the adreneline, which now has nowhere to go. I sat there with him for a few moments, patting him on the back as he put his head between his knees.

"It's okay," I said tenderly. "I won't tell anyone you're a p*ssy."

And THAT, my friends, is the story of my skydiving adventure.






HT, at our post-jump debriefing...at the local tiki bar












Texting our fellow teachers: "Dammit, Jen is SO MUCH COOLER than I am!"

Even computers know when it's my time of the month

I just went to CVS for chocolate and ice cream (yes, during The Biggest Loser. Shut up).

That is all I bought.

Here was the coupon the register spit back out at me:

Slap Chop part deaux

Someone has way too much time on his hands. I'm not talking about the guy in the video or even the guy who made the video. I'm talking about the guy who SENT me the video.

But I do thank him for feeding into my Slap Chop obsession...and for providing me with a much-needed laugh.


Slap Chop Rap Remix - Watch more Funny Videos

Prepare for your productivity to come to a screeching halt

www.textsfromlastnight.com

Some of my favorites in just the first few minutes of surfing:

(603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
(1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

(405): I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.

(913): very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.

(206): Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad

Pass the crack

1) I ripped out my own uterus today. Okay, not really, but I totally wanted to. This whole week (all 2 days, LOL) with them has been HORRIBLE. Last week, too. In fact, Friday was my worst day with them ALL YEAR. I never want kids. Ever. EVER.

And no, I don't care if it's "different when they're your own." I can barely handle kids from 8-3, September-June. I'm not kidding, if I had to deal with them all night, all weekend and all summer TOO...well, there's not a medication strong enough, my friends.

GAAAAHHHHHH.

1.5) A middle schooler was suspended (maybe even expelled) for bringing alcohol to school. And drinking it. In the middle of the school day (science class, to be exact). And then PASSING IT AROUND TO OTHER STUDENTS. I say, screw that. If *I* have to endure the day sober, then so do they.

2) (My funny part today--cuz like I said, there's always at least one): One student, while reading a letter being sent home from the nurse, looks up and asks: "Miss K, what's the sweeney flu?"

Me: "That's 'swine,' C."

Ah, yes. The low reading class at its finest, LOL.

3) The one shining beacon of hope in all of this? Paperbackswap, my friends. Nothing makes my day like coming home to an email that a book I sent has been received and I now have one credit waiting for ME to use, on any book of my choice. Oooh, the gloriousness of it. And if I find a 2-for-1 or a 3-for-1 in the Book Bazaar, with books I actually LIKE (because a lot of times, they're offering those deals cuz their books suck ass)...well, then I'm just giddy. And I have a credit waiting for me RIGHT NOW.

I know that only Lisa and Renee will be able to relate to this post right now, but if you're a reader, and you have old books that you want to trade for brand new ones, I am telling you AGAIN to go to paperbookswap.com.

And Lisa, you should be getting that Undead book soon, maybe even this week.

4) I watched Seven Pounds last night. It was a really good movie--but I must warn you, I CRIED at the last 15 minutes or so. The kind of crying that leaves you hiccuping and taking great gulps of air. (Of course, I also slept really good, too--nothing like a good cry every now and then.) But don't say I didn't warn you--cuz *I* wasn't expecting that emotional bitch-slap.

Justify *this*

I saw this on Nik's blog. It's another fun-with-iTunes kind of thing, but this one could get interesting...

*Using the shuffle feature on your iPod, write down the first 10 songs that play.

*Obviously, you have to use the for-real first 10; no picking, choosing or editing!

*Justify, depend or explain why THAT particular song is on your iPod.

LOL. Have you SEEN my play list on previous exercises? I have the gayest songs EVER. I'll have to justify the hell out of my songs.

1. Lynard Skynard - Sweet Home Alabama. And she starts out strong! This is, clearly, a classic rock staple. You're hooked from the second you hear that gee-tar kick in. Does anyone NOT shout "hell, yeah!" and hold up their beer bottle/cup/what-have-you when this one comes on?

2. Billy Joel - Tell Her About It. Okay, harder to explain. I've loved him since I was 10 and I stole this tape out of my dad's car. I was the only 5th grader who had Uptown Girl memorized. But you really DO need to give her every reason to accept that you're fo' real.

3. Kenny Wayne Shephard - I Found Love (When I Found You). I can thank Cam for this bluesy entry--it was actually our song. He went to the bar after our first fight, heard it, said it made him realize how much he loved me, and he came right back home, all apologetic and practically teary-eyed and shit. How do you beat THAT? Especially after his accident and everything that went down, this song means the world to me. I remember, even if he doesn't.

4. Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi. I have to say, I'm quite impressed with my list thus far. YOU LIVE FOR THE FIGHT WHEN IT'S ALL THAT YOU GOT--and then, the best part, singing balls-out, OOOOOH, WE'RE HALFWAY THE-ERE! Dude. Seriously.

5. Go-Gos - We've Got the Beat. Hmm. Okay, my track record took a bit of a hit on this one, but you KNOW you drum on the steering wheel when this one comes on in the car. Don't front.

6. She Goes Down - Motley Crue. Shut up, bitches. I know what you guys are going to say. Let's move on.

7. God Gave Rock n Roll To You - KISS. I saw them in concert and this song gave me chills. It was truly amazing live. This was their last song, and confetti came down....it was magical. Truly.

**Interlude. Is anyone else pleasantly surprised by the non-gayness of my songs?**

8. For Crying Out Loud - Meatloaf. This song reminds me of (Lisa G, you're gonna love this) Chris Cagle. Ah, junior high romances. The drama, the heartbreak, the cheating...damn, kind of like my LAST relationship.

9. The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss) - Cher. Crap. Well, I can still finish strong. I think I must have been a gay man in a former life because Cher is all OVER my iPod. Listen, she's got a lot of "strong women" anthems...but this one is just fun. And another great walking song.

So much for finishing strong and dignified...

10. Falco - Rock Me Amadeus. Okay, pure 80s cheese, but it always makes me smile and puts me in a good mood. Have you ever tried to be sad and mopey whilst listening to this song? Try it. It's IMPOSSIBLE. Play it at my funeral. You'll see what I mean.

And the next one is so awesome that I had to add it:

The Dan Band, Total Eclipse of the Heart. LOLOL. First introduced in Old School, during their first dance, this song takes a classic heart-wrenching, eat-ice-cream-and-cry 80s breakup ballad and turns it in to the most hysterical song EVER. In fact, I can't listen to the original anymore without hearing their version. (Basically, they sing it all fake-tenderhearted but drop the F bomb during all the sensitive parts, as in "I fuckin' need you now tonight, I fucking need you more than ever" --and my favorite part, "Forever's going to start tonight....for-fuckin-ever's gonna start tonight.") It's like Total Eclipse: Special Tourette's Edition.



Bonus video: while searching for Total Eclipse of the Heart, I found this one. And I'll tell you something--those white boys can DANCE.



OMG!! And then here they do Wilson Phillips. (Did I ever tell you guys that LCB LOVES Wilson Phillips? It's true. He's got their songs on a CD in his car and listens to it ALL THE TIME.) If you're in a hurry, you can skip the intro (although it's funny, if you have time); they start the actual song around 1:55. I giggled really hard when they started the chorus about 2:20. (Has anyone else noticed how crazily off track I've gotten? LOL)

Old hood/ new hood

Two news stories out today:

1) Detroit is, yet again, the most violent major U.S. city.

2) Ft. Myers has the 3rd highest foreclosure rate in the nation. (Hey, we're getting better; we WERE #1 as of just a few months ago.)

Can I pick 'em or what? (LOL--my choice of living environments is almost as crappy as my taste in men.)

Now, I need to go ice my neck; I hurt it tonight at the 5th grade social, doing The Worm.

Shut up.

Random stuff

I went to visit my friends at the ER again early Saturday morning. I was actually there a good part of the day. (Before you even say it, Mom, I hadn't had a cigarette in 4 days--not a HUGELY long time, but every day is a small victory--and like I told you, a lot of times my asthma actually gets worse at first when I quit.) Anyway, it was one of those things where they were giving me treatments but weren't having a lot of luck. I'm fine now, after the traditional steroid shots/breathing treatments/oxygen tube combo. I'm still wheezing a little and I've got a cough that makes me sound like I should be in an iron lung, but I feel okay--tired, but fine. (Oddly, I've been sweating my ass off all weekend. I'm not sure why. I was running a low fever yesterday, but I am DYING here.)

And yes, I'm that much more determined to quit--cuz I felt HORRIBLE, and I don't want to go through life like that anymore. Although it IS a bit frustrating, to be honest, when I'm trying to quit and I STILL end up in the freakin' hospital. WTF?

I felt good enough, however, to drive to the library today and drop off some books. On the way there, I saw this guy walking down the road. From a distance, he looked HOT--tank top, muscled arms, narrow waist, etc. I whistled to myself in the car--and then, as I got closer, I almost drove off the road. IT WAS ONE OF THE EIGHTH GRADERS AT MY SCHOOl. Yes, my friends, apparently I'm "THAT" teacher. (I *STILL* feel dirty.)

My time with BBBS is done, so I'm looking for my next volunteer project. I have it narrowed down to the Salvation Army soup kitchen or becoming a guardian ad litem--basically an advocate for a child who is struggling with family and custody issues. Go to http://www.gal.fl.gov/documents/GALlayvolbrochure.pdf to read more.

Whoo hoo!!!

I won't tell you how crazy-excited I got just now when I went onto my lanai...but it was pretty sad.

Lily, age 3 days

What'd I tell you? Early bloomer.

In other news, I'm spending my Spring Break working on ME. I'm following up on some New Years' resolutions and taking other steps to declutter my life, both figuratively and literally. Here's what I accomplished during my first 2 days of my vacation:

1) Began cleaning my apartment. And I mean for-real cleaning, with ACTUAL cleaning products and sponges and not just water and a paper towel. I've done the living room, dining room and kitchen so far (to be fair, the first 2 were pretty easy). I'm reserving a whole day each for the bathroom and my bedroom. I've alreay thrown out like 2 bags of garbage. Included in this will be taking a lot of my "winter" clothes from my closet and putting them into storage (ie, a garbage bag behind my couch) for the season--although I hear nighttime temps are going to drop to the 40s this week (which, in Florida in April, is almost unheard of). I'm also clearing out a lot of my paperback books via http://www.paperbackswap.com/, which is my new obsession. However, this doesn't really count as "cleaning," since I receive a new (new-to-me) book for every one I get rid of. But still, it's fun.

2) I went to church. This is helping to unclutter my mind.

3) I've been walking regularly AND I've even been running for parts of it. (Damn, it hurts my boobs, I'm not playin'. Even with sports bras, running is unpleasant. Then again, I was also PMSing.)

4) Taking another attempt at quitting. I HAVE to. Prices went up $2 a pack just in the last month alone. They're still only $4-5 a pack down here (I say "only", because I know Michigan must be seeing some crazy numbers), but come on. It's just STUPID at this point. WHY AM I STILL SMOKING? Not to mention all of the health and beauty issues associated with smoking, it will also help with my next area of self-improvement...

5) Getting my debt under control. I got so behind on bills that, as of November or December, my money-management system has been to throw my bills (and, lately, debt collection notices) into a big pile, never to be opened or looked at again. Why bother? I thought. I can't pay them anyway, and looking at them will just stress me out more. Well, let me share a little somethin' with ya: that shit don't just go away. =-) So, I spent like 3 hours last night going through that pile and actually FACING my debt. And it wasn't as bad as I thought--I mean, it's BAD, but so many of those notices were repeats of each other, so once I got down to the meat of it, I had a list of about 5 (pissed off) creditors. So I went online and filled out one of those credit consolidation apps (as you'll recall, that was one of my resoluations). I'm going to fill out a 2nd one today, just to compare rates/programs/etc (as in, what each will say my total monthly payment will be and what the estimated time frame will be for paying off my debt). And I'll tell you--I slept GOOD last night. This has been hanging over my head somethin' fierce the last few months. I'm still in the hole, of course--but at least I finally took the first few steps to getting my damn self out of it.

So...yeah. Those are the first few steps I've taken to Operation: Get Jen's Life Freakin' Together Since She's 30-Freakin-2-And-It's-About-Damn-Time-She-Got-Her-Shiznit-Straight. (Which we'll just refer to as Operation Shiznit, because that's what I'll be by the time this is all done.) ;)

I'd say it's been a pretty successful 48 hours so far.

It's a girl!

No, Anna didn't have her baby. I would, however, like you to welcome the newest addition to MY family--Lily. She's an Easter Lily I bought at the store today, and like her mom, she's dirty and will probably blossom early.

(Are you groaning yet? That was pretty bad. LOL)

Anyway, I usually kill plants off pretty quickly, so we'll see how long she survives. Wish us both luck.

Lily, age 1 day

Renee's "D"

Nik assigned Renee the letter "D" for that blog game thing; she sent me her list and asked me to post it. As you can see, she went the Nikki route and included a lot of details with hers, as opposed to the Jen School of one or two sentences. Hers are REALLY good, though, and they tell us a lot about the Domestic Goddess. (Note to self: if ever knocked up again, don't O.D. on milk.) So...enjoy!

1. Dad
Should be a given; everyone loves their dad, right? Well, I didn’t for a while. My dad drank a lot and was an angry drunk. He never hit us or anything, but he was miserable to be around and, admittedly, my sister and I were horrible teenagers. So the combination just didn’t work. As soon as we saw his truck pull around the corner, we’d go downstairs to our rooms. We’d come up for dinner and then it was right back down to our rooms. When my dad was diagnosed with diabetes (can’t remember the year, but mid-late ‘90’s), he quit drinking- cold turkey. It sounds kind of backwards, but that diagnosis is probably the best thing to ever happen to our family! Now, my dad is a totally different person and I adore him!

2. Domesticity
I LOVE staying home and taking care of the house and my boys. Every once in a while I get a bug up my ass and feel like I need to have a job, and I will, but not until I feel Brent could stay home by himself if he’s sick and I have to work, or whatever. But for right now, I truly love being home, doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc.

3. Dairy
Milk, cheese, yogurt… I love me some dairy products! When I was pregnant, I drank a gallon of milk almost every day. That, my friends, will cause you to gain 60 pounds, so I don’t recommend it, but milk and green grapes were the only things I craved while preggers, and I just HAD to have my milk!

4. Dimples
I LOVE DIMPLES! I think they are so cute and ever since I was little, I wished I could have them! My sister and my cousin both inherited my grandpa’s adorable dimples, and I didn’t get any, so I have to admire them from afar. They just make a face so much sweeter!

5. Diamond
I’m not really a jewelry girl. And what I do have is inexpensive stuff, not the kind you get at actual jewelry stores. However, on Christmas Eve of 2007, John surprised me with a new ring. It was the 10-year anniversary of when he proposed to me. It was totally unexpected- I was perfectly happy with the ring he’d given me 10 years ago! But he picked it out all by himself and it’s beautiful and I love it.


6. Detroit Red Wings
I had never watched a hockey game before I met John. I’m not really a sports fan. But John introduced me to hockey and I love it! Hockey and MMA are the only sports I would watch even if he weren’t watching them. I’d still much rather read a book, but if I know the Wings are on and he’s not here, I’ll still watch. It’s so exciting! Plus, sweaty hockey players are damn hot.

7. Dessert
Do I really need to elaborate here? Pretty much any dessert will suffice ☺

8. Decorating cakes
I discovered my love for this when Brent turned 4. He was really into construction vehicles at the time, so I went with that theme. Chocolate frosting, graham cracker crumb dirt, some vehicles and construction cones, also some guys. It was so fun and he thought he’d died and gone to heaven. Next came SpongeBob, then a cheeseburger (my avatar is that cake), a hot dog and French fries (my favorite) and this past February was an electric guitar. I have so much fun doing it and Brent proclaims each year’s is better than the last. What a sweet kid!

9. Drawing
I could sit and draw (and color) with Brent all day. He gets bored pretty quickly, but I think I could sit there for hours. Problem is, I can’t just draw something out of my imagination. I need to look at something and copy it ☺ But our basement walls are covered with some pretty damn good replicas of cartoon and book characters!

10. David Cook/Daughtry/David Baldacci
I’m combining this because they’re all people. David Cook won American Idol last year and he’s AWESOME. Chris Daughtry came in 4th a couple years ago and I love him, too. David Baldacci is an author. The first book I read by him is called The Christmas Train and I fell in love with him then. It’s not his typical political drama stuff, which I also love, but it’s really good!

"S"

Nik posted this on her blog and I decided to give it a shot, too. She assigned me the letter "S"; my job is to come up with 10 of my favoriate things that begin with that letter. If anyone out there in Blog Land hasn't done this yet and is up for it, let me know. However, keep in mind that you don't get to pick your own letter--I get to give it to you. And now, without further ado...

1) Seriously, do I even have to SAY the #1 "S" word on my list? LOL. It's almost TOO easy, really. (For those of you who have clearly never met and/or talked to me, my mind is most definitely in the gutter here.)

2) Sunsets. And I'm lucky enough to have lived in 2 states--Michigan and Florida--that both have some pretty amazing sunsets. Especially when seen from the beach.

3) Strawberries. Next to watermelon, easily my favorite fruit (especially when used in conjunction with #1).

4) Sleeping (or sleeping IN). My ability to sleep in is probably the main hesitation I have about becoming a parent. Let's just say that, left to my own devices, waking up before 11 on the weekends is "getting up early." And that's 11 at NIGHT. LOL

5) Stars - the kind in the sky. I totally stole this from Nikki but truly, astronomy is a big love of mine, too. I actually invested in a decent telescope a couple of years ago. Also, along these same lines, astrology (also star-related) is something else that I fully believe in and am totally into.

6) Stars - the celebrity kind. I am my mother's daughter and my sister's sister (LOL). We are all very, very big followers of the goings-on of the rich and famous. People mag, Star mag, etc.--I love 'em all.

7) Smoking. I'm sorry. I know it's horrible for my health and will kill me if I don't quit, especially with my asthma. And truly, I continue to fight it, in a way I never have before--in fact, I'm chewing nicotine gum as we speak. But I will have to fight that urge to smoke for the rest of my damn life--because sometimes, nothing beats a cigarette.

8) Students...most of the time. =-) Even when they're driving me crazy, I love them.

9) Showers. I shower at least twice a day--once in the morning and once at night. In the morning for obvious reasons--but at night, it's like my body NEEDS it now to unwind and relax. Sure, I could wash my face at the sink and call it a day, but it's just not the same. It's not bedtime until I've taken my shower.

10) Sarcasm. Spend more than 10 minutes with me (sometimes, even less than that) and you'll see what I mean. I have a heart of freakin' gold--but I'm also a smartass. That's just how I roll.

11) Straightener (for my hair). I have thick and wavy hair--not the pretty kind, but the frizzy kind. Even when I don't full-out "straighten" it, my flat iron helps me to keep it more manageable. (FYI: This is my extra "bonus" item because, once again, my #1 was just too. damn. easy. LOL)

12) "Swingers" --the MOVIE, you freaks, not the actual partner-swappers. This is my favorite movie EVER. If you still haven't seen it, rent it NOW. It features an early Vince Vaughn and it shows how MEN handle breakups. Good stuff. (There. And now I have TWO extra items, this one to make up for the fact that I used "stars" twice, even though they were 2 totally different things.)