Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Another injury reported in Miss K's class

I stapled my finger today (I was putting some tests up on the bulletin board--and continued my stapling when I turned my head to talk to a student. I thought I was coordinated enough to do both at the same time. I was wrong).

I let out a sound that was similar, I would imagine, to a moose being hit in the neck by a tranquilizer dart. I pulled the staple out of my finger (it was totally IN there, guys--it was kind of gross) and watched the 2 microscopic holes fill with pinprick-sized drops of blood.

"Oh my goodness, Miss K!!!" A., my "Drama King," jumped up at the first sight of blood. "STAY CALM!!"

He mock-frantically looked around the room.

"Get me a tournament, STAT!"

This one threw me for a minute. I gave him the "WTF" look that I give to at least one of my kids every single day before I quizzically ventured, " mean TOURNIQUET?"

"Yeah, that! Hold on, Miss K!! DON'T! LEAVE! US!"

I gave him a leveled teacher-stare (I was laughing my ass off on the inside, but I've learned that you can't encourage him too much or he'll become even more impossible than he already is) while applying a Band-aid to my almost-invisible (but still surprisingly painful) injury.



"Siddown. Unless, of course, you want to continue your first-aid treatment in detention today."

"Oooh! Burn!" (This was interjected by one of A's friends. I told him that he'd be joining his buddy if he didn't mind his business, but frankly, I was kind of excited to hear someone use the word "Burn!" correctly. Quick side story: my students, especially the boys, are always saying "Burn!" to each other, but they haven't quite gotten a hang of it yet. For example: "Miss K, do you have a pencil I can borrow?" "S., since this is school, shouldn't you have brought one with you?" "Oooh, burn!!" "No, L, that wasn't a 'burn'. That was a question. Mind your business." or "Miss K, I don't get this question." "Well, it's asking for the perimeter, so you add up all the sides. You wrote down the area." "Oooh, burn!!" "No, P., that wasn't a 'burn.' Mind your business." And so on. It's actually pretty freakin' funny, and their inability to "burn" each other correctly is now a running joke with my friends. But I digress.)

I guess Spring Break is over.



lotusblossom said...

sorry bout your finner... BUT hahahahhahahahahahahh.

anna said...

I did that once! I stapled my thumb in 2nd or 3rd grade. You should put some antiseptic stuff on it so you don't get tetnus.

Nik said...

LMFAO, glad your return to school after Spring Break went so well. This stuff your kids do cracks me up. You could blog about them everyday.

For some reason, it won't let me post a comment to the Slap Chop thing so I'm gonna post it here. The first time me and Missy saw it,we looked at each other and said "Did he just say that"? So we rewound it and sure enough, we're gonna love his nuts. Almost makes me want to buy one just because of that statement. lol

Renee said...

LMFAO, too! Your kids sound SO FUNNY, and with your sense of humor (and accident-prone-ness), I bet your classroom is a lot of fun. When you're not kicking their asses :-) Ooooh, burn!

Renee said...

Hahahahahahahahhaa!!! You're gonna get rabies :-)

Jen said...

**I had to edit and repost this comment, since I realized that I'd used "P's" real name at one point in my original comment post. So this is what prompted Renee's "rabies" comment.**

Yeah today, P. (my very big, very slow--and I mean, VERY slow. He really needs a special middle school next year-- student) was quite concerned about the possibility of tetanus today.

In math, I asked what the perimeter was of the rectangle on the board. P. raised his arm and started waving it very enthusiastically. "Miss K!" he called out.

Now, one of the class rules is to raise your hand SILENTLY, but I was so geeked that he wanted to answer--usually a) he's totally lost and b) trying to get him to even take a guess is like pulling teeth. So I overlooked it. "P.! What's the perimeter?"

"You better get a shot! From when you stapled your finger yesterday! Or you'll get rabies! And guess what!! You gotta get it in your--"

"Actually," I tried to interrupt him --"it's tetanus, not--"

"BUTT!!" he finished triumphantly.

I nodded seriously. "Thanks for your concern, P."

He saluted me. (He's been doing that a lot recently. Not sure where he got that from.) "No problem, Miss K. Any time."

"Now, what's the perimeter?"

He sat back in his seat. "Oh. That? I dunno."

anna said...

LOLOL!!! Man, your kids are HI-larious!