My daughter knows

Today, at age 13 (and 6 months and 10 days, but who's counting), my daughter Amanda found out not only that she's adopted, but that I'm actually her birthmother. For those of you who have been following the story, Amanda has pretty much known for quite a while that she was adopted, but today was the first time that Andrea, her mother, actually admitted the truth. And suprisingly, Amanda really DIDN'T suspect, after all, the fact that I might be more than just a "family friend"--but more on that later.

I really hate to leave you all hanging, since I'm sure you're dying to hear how all of this went down, but it's almost one in the morning (UPDATE: 1:40 by the time I was finished writing the post, resizing/posting pictures, etc) and I really have to get to bed. I'll begin telling the story tomorrow--although honestly, there was so much involved that I'll probably have to tell the story over two or three posts. Some highlights:

1) Amanda really seemed to take the news pretty well, although like I said, she was pretty blown away to hear that I was her birthmom. Later on, when I asked her what she thought about all this, she said, "I think it's awesome!"

2) I finally came out and told Andrea everything that I've been holding inside for the last 13 years--a lot more tactfully then I've said it to many of you, of course, but we finally had "the showdown" today.

3) My daughter found out the truth in the middle of WalMart. I think that officially makes us more white trash than Britney Spears.

4) Andrea IS the one who told her. I just stood there frozen. In fact, I'll only be able to tell you bits and pieces of the story, because I had such a "deer in the headlights" reaction that I honestly don't remember a lot of it. It was all such a blur, a shock--because I didn't know that she was going to tell her WHEN she did. Needless to say, the well-prepared speech that I've been crafting over the last 13 years completely went out the window. In fact, when Amanda turned to me, in shock, looking at me as her birthmother for the first time, I stood there, grinned--AND WAVED AT HER. (However, that's still better than what my MOTHER ended up doing, but that's a whole different story. You're going to have to wait for that one, but trust me, it'll be well worth it.)

5) Everyone cried--except me.

So that's the overview. Here are a couple of pictures of the two of us together (FI, these were all taken pre-revelation).

And in a sidenote, thanks to everyone who has been asking how I'm doing with regards to my grandpa. I called Dad today (I hadn't heard from him since he left on Friday--I actually last talked to him on Thursday night). Grandpa was cremated and the memorial service is tomorrow. No, Dad had no intention of calling to tell me and had I not called HIM today, I wouldn't have found out. I told him I wanted to go down for it and he told me not to "bother," it was only going to be like a 20-minute service. I told him that it was still my grandpa, but he said I couldn't afford it. He let me know, without coming out and saying it, that he REALLY didn't want me coming down there for it. But that's how my dad is. That side of my family doesn't "do emotion" very well (see #5 above). Dad would rather not have me there at all then to see him showing any outward type of emotion. (Yeah, I know.)

He also said that he hopes to be back in time to help me move down to FL this weekend, since he has to go back with his truck anyway to bring back several boxes of files, some of Grandpa's personal belongings, etc. Of course, I also got an email from him today that said, "...but have a plan B ready just in case. Mom's condition is so bad that I wonder if a second funeral isn't far behind." And by the way, when I talked to him this morning, I asked him how Grandma was, as far as her mental condition, her memory and how much she realizes/understands. He said it fluctuates quite a bit--sometimes she doesn't remember anything, but sometimes she DOES. Sometimes she's fully aware of what happened and that Grandpa is gone--and those moments, he said, are "pretty bad." So please continue to keep both Grandpa and Dad in your thoughts and prayers.