Is getting hit on bad?
I’ve been going to car dealerships all week looking for a new used car, which brings me to the question: Is getting hit on necessarily bad?
You may have noticed that most car salesmen are men. You may have also noticed that I am a woman, a married woman.
Now, I’m not talking vulgar or rude hitting on. That’s clearly bad. I'm asking about a greyer area.
Yesterday I went to yet another dealership and a sales guy who approached me, as is their habit. When I said I was looking for used cars he brought me over to a used car guy saying that he wished he could help me because I was lovely. He didn’t say it gross like “help me,” but kind of complimentarily (did I just make a new word?). At the time I just smiled, said thank you and went about my business.
But now I'm thining about it. Should I take this sort of thing as a compliment or should I be offended? The feminist, women’s study classes in college Anna says “That’s sexual harassment and I don’t have to take it, you pig!” But there's a part of the old, boring, married woman I’ve become that kind of thinks, well, it’s nice to be noticed and it’s not like it’s anything more than words. What do you think?
p.s. Does it make a difference if the guy who’s hitting on you is attractive? Be honest, now!
8 comments:
Maybe I'm extremely shallow, but matters to me whether the man who hits on me is handsome or not. I get creeped out and feel stalked by ugly men. I don't take it seriously when a good looking man hits on me. He surely can find better women than a 40 year old married goat farmer.
And I'm a feminist and don't take a bit of offense to compliments as your car salesman gave.
Offended why?
A man finds you attractive. Isn't that a good thing? If he was lecherous, drooling, or otherwise rude then I would say you have the right to be offended. You have the right to be offended if you've told him to leave you alone and he continues. But, for simply offering what was obviously an irrestible compulsion to comment on your beauty? Offense? Never.
or, irresistible even.
I thought I'd drop in and see if you were writing any posts. In the past, you didn't contribute many posts here.
If the guy knew you were married, than he should not have flirted. But, I don't think you should take offense to what happened there. It sounds like it was not anything uncomfortable for you. He gave you a compliment, and you should feel glad that you are still turning heads. :)
Also, it is a fact of life that women notice attractive men and men notice attractive women. It is what you do after that that counts. If you would have responded flirtatiously with the guy, then you would have signaled to him that you are not married or that you are married, but looking for some action on the side. That would have been a bad thing.
As it sits, I don't think what occured was sexual harassment at all, not even offensive.
Yeah, just take the compliment and run. As Eduardo pointed out, you ARE quite "irrestible." ;)
Hey anna, speaking of old, boring, married people, Laura IS coming with Jake and Christina and Greg next weekend. I talked to her today and I'm REALLY excited to see them. You sure you guys can't come?
Maybe the guy was just being honest.
Compliment, definitely.
BTW, are you free for dinner tonight? :)
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