"You're stupid!"

***WARNING: This post is rated R for explicit language***

As most of you know, I live north of Chicago; almost to Wisconson. So when I come "home" to Holland, I have to drive through Chicago and around the lake to get there. I usually have my son in the car with me, so aside from speeding, I'm always on my best driving behavior.

Last weekend Brent stayed home with my husband while I went to Holland for the March of Dimes walk and to drink the night away with Jen :-) I was very much looking forward to the drive, even though I was leaving at rush hour on Friday. Not a big deal, because at least I could listen to cds instead of a SpongeBob video or Moose Songs or something else that makes me want to drive off the road.

Traffic SUCKS (to be exact, I didn't touch the accelerator for 2 hours), and to make it worse, the express lanes aren't open. But it's all good, cuz I'm singing my heart out and I know it will all be worth it because I'm gonna have fun over the course of the weekend.

Now, even though the express lanes are closed, there are still the off-ramps for them that would merge into my lane (my motto for driving in Chicago is to Get Left, Stay Left, so I'm always in the left lane). Suddenly, the little Mazda in front of me pulls a road block by getting between the left lane and the merge lane. I looked in my rear-view to see a black SUV flying up the merge lane, thinking his stupid ass is gonna get a little further ahead in the stopped traffic by pulling this little move. What a jackass, right? I'll be damned if I'm letting him in front of me, so I immediately follow the Mazda, thinking it will be a little more effective cuz I have a Soccer Mom Van. SUV guy is not giving up. I'm about a frog's hair from the Mazda's bumper; couldn't get closer if I wanted to. Still, SUV guy is inching his way closer-- so close our mirrors are almost touching. I'm getting PISSED and even more adamant that he's not getting in front of me, when the bitch in the passenger seat looked at me and said, through closed windows, "Let us IN!"

Oh, hell no. You do NOT expect me to let you in after pulling such an assinine move. She actually looked SHOCKED that I wasn't letting them in. Like what they did was acceptable and *I* was in the wrong. I rolled down my window, being thankful that Brent wasn't in the car so I can do this, and said "FUCK YOU!" She looked quite taken aback, and rolled her window down.

Stupid Girl: "what did you say?"
Me: "You heard me, and you are NOT getting in front of me; that's NOT what that lane is for and you know it!"

At this point, I contemplated throwing my bottle of water at her, but something made me not (probably my desire not to be in jail during the charity walk I was to participate in the following day).

Stupid Girl: "You're a BITCH!"

***And my brilliant response?***

Me: "Well... you're stupid!"

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

There were at least three cars behind me that also did not let them in. That ass clown would have been better off just staying where he was in the first place. Them being behind me is all the more reason to be thankful I didn't chuck my water bottle at Stupid Girl; they could have taken my license plate # and that would have sucked for me :-)

The moral of this story, ladies and gentleman, is to drive like a normal person; don't act like you own the road. If you act a fool, be prepared for a barrage of foul language and, possibly, full water bottles that would be thrown mostly out of frustration, but still hard enough to hurt at least a little bit.