Motherf*cker

So Cheating Lying Bastard brought over a big bag of my stuff last night (a visit in which he looked me dead in the eye and promised me that he had not, in fact, cheated on me).

A bag that included a stick of women's deodorant...THAT WASN'T MINE.

Since, after seeing him last night and looking into his big, earnest, gorgeous eyes, I was ALMOST thinking about believing him, I took this as a bitch-slap back to reality from The Big Man Upstairs. (And by now, even HE must be like "CRAP, this girl is a slow learner!!")

I've never been so pissed and yet laughed so hard in my entire life.

Too bad I didn't go through the bag until today, or I could have added "shoving a stick of deodorant up someone's ass" to the List of Things I'm Good at Doing Left Handed.