Monday, June 09, 2008

But wait, there's more!

So in addition to the shitstorm of the last few days--namely, wrist-breaking and cheating-lying-piece-of-shit-busting--I have two more exciting events coming up:

1) Removal of my mole tomorrow morning. Scared shitless because plastic surgeon said that the numbing agent will "sting like crazy", which in medical terms is akin to "you will be on the floor begging for mercy."

2) A follow-up to my (stop reading, Fred) recent abnormal Pap this Friday.

Interesting, really, how you can cruise along, relatively happy and carefree, for months at a time, before you're bitch-slapped back to reality. I'm not trying to throw a one-woman pity party here; I'm just merely observing that this is a whole lot to deal with in a 7-day window. I guess I should be flattered that the powers-that-be think I'm strong enough to deal with it all. But, on my way back from Deceitful Lying Bastard's place this weekend, I couldn't help but look heavenward and say this silent prayer:

"Are you freakin' KIDDING me with this?"

17 comments:

keesh said...

Awe, you make me laugh and want to cry for you all at the same time. i am sorry you are having a bad time! Doesn't seem fair! Hang in there!!

sparkydiva said...

we love you. i wish i could do something for you. my husband knows people... :)

Renee said...

That's an awful lot of typing for you right now, Lefty!

It all sucks. Let us know how everything goes... I have every confidence you'll be tougher than you think tomorrow morning. After all, you broke your elbow without crying; the shot will be nothing.

Jen said...

now that my arm is just in a sling i can use my right fingers a little

Jen said...

Brandi: let's come up with a code name for your offer, so as to disguise the nature of our conversation. How about:

Operation: Grievous Bodily Harm to the Lying Motherfucker.

Jen said...

(Clearly, I'm still in the angry phase)

Renee said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOL! Great code name :-)

Anna said...

I guess Jesus doesn't love you.

Jen said...

Anna: LOLOLOLOLOL

Renee said...

Hahahahahahaha! That is the very last thing I expected Anna to say :-)

Jen said...

i'm making that a tshirt

Nik said...

Anna, you frickin rock. Loved your comment, too funny!

Jen, all I can say is that life goes on. I've had abnormal pap results too and it turned out to be nothing. So don't worry until you find out further. As for that cheating bastard (or whatever name he has today)to hell with him.

sparkydiva said...

ok...after reading your most recent blog that you TURNED THE DAMN COMMENTS OFF OF...i think we should implement operation: grievous bodily harm to the lying, cheating, stupid, mornic, assholio motherfucker.

:)

Jen said...

nik: i'm sure it is, but since i've had a history of abnormal ones that turned out to be not so "nothing," I'm just a little skittish

any one of these events i could take in stride. i just feel like they're piling up.

Fred said...

"Stop reading, Fred" Right.

About the mole. I have 'em done all the time. Honestly, you'll barely feel it. It's like a pin prick.

Hope everything is okay at this point.

Ladies, let me know if I need to do a recon mission. It starts with beer...

Jen said...

Pin prick, my ass.

THAT WAS THE MOST HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.

Okay maybe not, but it was more unpleasant than a wisdom tooth pulling or root canal for sure.

I almost choked on the freezing stuff, the numbing shot was quite painful--and it wasn't just for like a second; it was like a minute and a half (it was a big mole, though--right on my nose, too--during which I went all Tourette's and let out a string of curse words. The actual removal wasn't so bad, of course, but the part where the numbing shit wore off kind of sucked. oh, and when he was done he was like "wow. that's a pretty big hole in your nose" and decided I needed stiches--big, black, whisker like stitches THAT I WILL HAVE FOR MY TRIP HOME TO MICH, INCLUDING GIRLS WEEKEND, MOTHERF&(*^*&%%

Thanks for trying to help with the pep talk, though. ;)

Nik said...

Jen- I didn't know that you have a history of not so nothing results. Still, do yourself a favor and try not to think about it until you know further. I know, easier said than done. Oh and I am just going to go ahead and restate that you are much stronger than you think you are.

Hey, when will you be headed this way?