Monday, October 15, 2007

Grandma died

Grandma K passed away today, very unexpectedly, a few months after my grandpa. But as we all know, that's how it goes sometimes.

Since Grandpa died, Grandma's been talking to him. She's so sure and convincing and emphatic that the nurses often found themselves turning around to make sure no one was behind them. She said he kept saying he was waiting for her and to "hurry up." I guess she did.

She had late-stage Alzheimers but otherwise was in pretty good health. Here's part of the email--yes, again, I found out about the death of a grandparent via email--that Dad sent around 8 pm.

"She went quietly and very unexpectedly. I was talking to the Nurses this morning. She had been fighting a cold, but was apparently coming back strong. They told me not to worry..I should keep to my plan to visit in a few weeks. Then as near as I can tell, she just went to sleep this afternoon and didn’t wake up. I could hear the nurses in the backround crying when they called me. They liked her. "

Dad's doing as well as can be expected. I was on the phone with him for a while tonight. As some of you know, Dad doesn't show emotion and neither do we around him. So I had to get through the convo with no tears, etc. I did it, too, because that's how we roll. My voice shook a few times though, and I found myself squeezing my hands into fists and digging my nails into my palms.

Grandpa, as much as I love him, was quite the ornery b*stard sometimes. Grandma, though, was truly a sweet, sweet woman.

She didn't really know Dad, or us, in the last couple of years. My prayer is that, as she's restored to a perfect body and MIND, she looks down at us and is proud of who her granddaughters have become.

9 comments:

Renee said...

Ohhhhhh, I'm so sorry! I know it's probably a blessing, at this point, because Alzheimer's is such a horrible, wicked disease. It doesn't make it any easier for you guys, though.

Remember that the Girl Tribunal has been through the passing of grandparents recently, too, and we're all here if you need to cry/vent/talk about it. My thoughts are with you and your family. Love you.

keesh said...

yes, we sure have been through it a lot lately. welcome to the 30/almost 30 club. Dang. she is in a much better place Jen and I know she is very proud of you!!

Madre said...

I'm sorry, Jen. It's hard to lose someone you love. Sounds like she is with your grandfather now and that is what she wanted.

The last time I saw my own grandmother was in the assisted living facility that had become her home. She was one hundred years old and no longer recognized me, but she was pleased to have a friendly visitor.

"Do you know Earl?" she asked as I wheeled her outside for some fresh air. Earl was my grandfather. He had died a few years earlier.

"Yes, I do," I told her.

She smiled. "He's coming to get me soon."

And he did. I was sad to lose her, but the thought that she was with her husband of seventy-something years once again was such a blessing. She was one of my biggest cheerleaders while she was alive. I'm sure she's cheering still, just as I'm sure your own grandmother is keeping track of her girls. Grandmother love lasts forever.

Renee said...

Lori, your comment made me cry :-)

Anonymous said...

She is.

Jen said...

Lori, I love that story.

Jen said...

PS--thanks to everyone else, too, for your comments and thoughts and everything. I'll be a'ight...I still can't believe they're both gone now, though. Just like that, boom boom, it's like a double sucker punch and both my paternal grandparents are gone.

This must be HORRIBLE for DAd.

Nik said...

Sorry to hear about your grandma. It's always tough to lose a loved one. I'm here if ya need me (not that you would), but ya know

Anonymous said...

Oh Jen! I'm so sorry! It's so hard to lose our loved ones - especially grandmas. I'm just shocked that you lost them both in such a short time! It's terrible. I'm praying for you & all who loved her.

Lori, your comment was beautiful and made me tear up. Thanks for your story and nice thoughts.