Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Jenny don't play that.

I had to lay the smack down yesterday.

Our schedule has been switched around due to the MEAP; as a result, my 2nd-period geography class now meets during 7th (last) hour. (Don't ask.) For some reason, a class that is normally quite cooperative and well-behaved during 2nd period becomes a room full of Demon Children at 2:00. Yesterday, I had to give them a "Come to Jesus" talk (in teacher language, this means any speech designed to help them "see the light").

Mrs. R. had to leave early yesterday for basketball, and of course, the students decided to see how much they could get away with once they realized that Mrs R had left the building. Since I don't want to be one of those teachers who yell, I have instead perfected "The Voice"--a low and eerily calm voice, infused with so much anger that they probably WISH I were yelling.

Yesterday, using The Voice, I delivered a near-perfect Come to Jesus speech making it perfectly clear that their behavior was BEYOND unacceptable; if I wanted to teach preschoolers, I'd go back to my old job; and if they thought for one second that Miss K was going to put up with this, they were sorely mistaken. I concluded (through gritted teeth, yet perfectly levely), "You haven't seen me mad yet and you don't want to. Don't. Push. Me."

Today, I taught geography to a group of angels. In fact, they were SO quiet and coopeative that, at one point, I actually stopped talking, looked around mock-suspicously and asked, "Okay, what are you up to?" This broke the ice; they laughed and a chorus of "Nothing, Miss K!" rang out. At the end of the hour, I congratulated them on their behavior and asked, "Now see, isn't this a lot more fun than Cranky Miss K?"

It was quite a victorious moment, actually.

Towards the end of class, I decided to have a little fun with them. I dropped hints insinuating that, after their horrid behavior the day before, there was now a hidden camera installed somewhere in the classroom. They spent the rest of the hour casting furtive glances around the classroom. (What--paranoia is not an acceptable classroom management plan?) I had to turn away a few times to hide my smirk. At one point, Tyler came up to me and said, "Is that it, Miss K?", pointing to a completely innocent, random hole high up on the front wall. In a stage whisper, I replied, "Don't let them know you found it!", which of COURSE (as per my evil master plan) prompted him to announce, "Hey, everyone, the camera's up there!" I plan to milk this for as long as I can; if they start to even THINK about acting up, I will let them "catch" me looking up at the camera.

8 comments:

Nik said...

LMAO-- now that's just too funny. You should have messed with them even more and told them that was only ONE of the cameras you have watching them. Way to keep the kids in line Jen. You're so on your way!

John Cowart said...

What a wonderful devious teacher you are; this is precious.

Jen said...

John: I'm a student teacher, so I hope that soon I won't have to resort to such trickery. (Although middle schoolers ARE kind of fun to mess with.) ;)

And I checked out your site, John. Looks like you're quite the published writer! Very impressive!

Jen said...

OOH!! Plus, their first dance is coming up at the end of the month. I think I'll have some fun with that one, too. If the boys start acting out again (because, not to be stereotypical, but it's usually the boys I have the most problems with), I'll threaten to be their date to the dance. Then, I shall demonstrate some of my super=smooth (read: uber-dorky) dance moves. I doubt I'll hear a peep out of them for the rest of the month after THAT. ;)

keesh said...

Thanks Jen. Seriously, I have had the worst few weeks and reading this just makes me smile and kind of put things in perspective. I could have only hoped for a student teacher such as yourself when I was that age. You are doing a great job and they are lucky to have one with a sense of humor who will also keep them in line. you found a great balance!

keesh said...

LOB - Jen wont change though, she will be just as much of a kick ass teacher too :).

sparkydiva said...

too funny!

when my daughter was really little, i had her convinced that when she told a lie, a little purple dot showed up on her forehead. paranoia is perfectly wonderful!

~b

Jamie Dawn said...

The hidden camera thing is brilliant!