Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Pray for me

Today was the kind of day that makes me wonder why I went into teaching.

I can't even explain to you the horrible-ness of it. Seriously, they were awful. Not listening, arguing with each other (AND me) and tattling. I got THREE "Miss K, I'm mad at you and here's why" notes dropped on my desk (it's something I set up at the beginning of the year but rarely has it been invoked). (One of them was really funny, though: "Miss K, I'm EXTREMELY mad at you because you gave me a check and everyone else was talking and you didn't do anything to them. Are they specialer than me or something? I am VERY MAD. You are usually fair and nice and pretty but I am mad today. You were my favorite teacher but now I might go back to Mrs. L from fourth grade." We were dying over that one in the break room.) I had to give 5 detentions, one kid busted another over the head with a water bottle ("but he called me a fat ass, Miss K! I'm sorry to say a bad word but he did!") AND--wait for it--I had to break up a fight at lunch (which is not as easy as it sounds, since one of them was my "big boy," who's got a good 5 inches and 50 lbs on me). And don't even get me STARTED on the kids all the other teahers sent into my room (that's what happens when you're the team lead--but at least it helped me to see that it wasn't just my kids). And there's still SEVEN more days till Christmas break.

The only good part of the day was at the very beginning. While they were working on some math problems, one of my boys was singing the chorus of Rihanna's Disturbia (the part that goes "Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum bum"). As I was walking around checking work, I joined in (I love that song). They stared at me, shocked (because to them, I might as well be 90. A grown up is a grown up, and actual age doesn't matter). "You KNOW that song??" Seriously, they were flabberghasted, totally blown away. So then they started testing me. One kid broke into "So What" by Pink and I belted it out like I was on American Idol (an Expo marker was my microphone), which earned me a lot of applause. Then, for the final round, one girl was like, "I got her, I got her," and started singing Beyonce's new one, Put a Ring on It. Now, I JUST heard that for the first time this week, but I've heard it enough in the last few days that I was able to bluff my way through it pretty accurately (there may have been some dancing involved). And THAT made them fall out of their chairs. So that part was fun. And to their credit, they went back to working on their math problems pretty easily after that. So I was thinking, Sweet! This is going to be one of those GOOD days!

But it was all downhill from there and I swear, I'm researching other careers online right now. At the moment, long-distance trucking has a pretty major edge.


Renee said...

LOLOLOLOLOL! The first part of your day sounds AWESOME, and I'm LMAO over the mental image of you being a trucker. Lot Lizard I can see. Trucker? Not so much ;-)

I'm sorry the rest of your day sucked ass, though. But I'm also cracking up at the hilarious note. Kids are so damn funny. Here's hoping one of the really good, carreer-choice-affirming days comes along before Christmas break!

Anonymous said...

Jen in trucker

anna said...

I'm with Renee - Sorry the day sucked but the first part of it sounds awesome! You are the coolest teacher Ms.K!

Not to rain on your future career, but I can't see you as a trucker. I still think you should write the book about beginning teaching and all the wacky things kids do and say. You'd make so much money that you'd never need to work again!

Jen said...

Actually, Anonymous, I'll have you know that I went through a BIG flannel stage in high school.

Then again, that was 93-94 or so, so pretty much EVERYONE was.

Today, the kid who beaned another one over the head with the water bottle came in with a PRESENT for me (an ornament today). "Here, Miss K," he said shyly. "You yelled at me and got pretty mad and stuff, but you also listened to me when I said why I did it and you talked to the other kid and stood up for me and stuff and so here."


Still doesn't make up for all the bullshit, though

Jen said...

PS--I'm not sure exactly WHAT a lot lizard is, but I'm guessing it involves truckers and sexual favors, in which case: bite me, tramp


Renee said...

LOLOLOLOLOL. I'm pretty sure I learned that term from Nik or Mis; thought for sure you'd know what it was. Yeah, the ho's who make their rounds in truck stop parking lots :-)

That's sweet that that little boy brought you a present!

sparkydiva said...

hmmm...judging from your morning performances, we can totally put you on a stage somewhere. i'm thinkin...what was the name of that resort in canada where shania twain was discovered? i can totally teach you the dance to that beyonce song. and i'm sure we (as in you) can throw in some sexual favors when you get bored.

but the flannel? no.

anna said...

I was total grunge-girl into flannel in high school! Back in the day...

I hope the kids are better today. It's so nice that water-bottle boy came around :)

My mom's students drove her nuts yesterday too.

At least it's Friday! Happy Friday everybody!

Nik said...

Jen, sorry your day sucked and your kids were horrible, but there's going to be a day when you will be reminded why you chose to be a teacher and you'll regret every considering trucking. Which is just funny as hell to picture, BTW. Here's hoping the rest of the pre-Christmas break school days go better for you.

Oh and I'm dying at the lot lizard/sexual favors comments. You ladies crack me up.

Fred said...

Your kids leave you notes, and my kids throw punches and drop the f-bomb.

It's all relative, I guess.

Jen said...

Fred: and THAT'S why I don't teach middle school.

Although actually, in the last couple of weeks, various 5th graders have, in fact, thrown punches AND dropped the F-bomb.