Off the record...and a break-in
You guys can all kick my ass, but I totally miss Shawn.
I mean LCB.
It's been like 3 days and I miss him. Not the "him" from the post, of course (the selfish one who clearly doesn't care about me), but the GOOD him. My BFF. The one I love and shit. I keep kind of hoping he'll call 'cuz he misses having me around, too. (P'shaw....like THAT will happen.)
On a totally different note, I had to break into my condo the other day. Brad had a friend in from out of town, and he left the next morning after Brad did. Well, on his way out, he locked the wrong lock--the little turny-lock in the doorknob, which we don't have a key too (we just have a key for the top lock, the dead-bolty one....do you like all the official and highly technical names I'm using? LOL). So I called Brad at work and after he spent the first minute cussing out his friend in a very Tourette-y way, he said, "OOH. I have an idea. The kitchen window (which faces the front, thank God) is unlocked." And then he goes, I SHIT YOU NOT, "If you have a flathead screwdriver handy, you can pop out the screen and get in that way."
Sure, roomie, just hold on a minute while I PULL A FLATHEAD SCREWDRIVER OUT OF MY ASS.
I tried to wedge my keys under the screen, but they were too thick. Then, as I stared at my keychain, inspiration struck.
I wedged my CVS Customer Care Card under the screen and popped it that way.
(Hellz to the yeah, bitches.)
Once I pulled open the window (which is a lot harder from the outside than from the inside, FYI), I threw my purse into the kitchen and pulled myself up the 4.5 feet to the ledge. I did THAT part easily enough...and then proceeded to do the most UNgraceful dive into the kitchen and onto the floor that you have ever seen. I actually laughed at myself, thinking of how freakin' uncoordinated that whole display would have been to anyone who was watching. (And since this condo association is full of OLD PEOPLE, who both 1) are nosy and 2) have nothing better to do, I figured that the "anyone watching" group could conceivably be quite large. In fact, I was a bit paranoid for the first 30 minutes that the cops would show up on a suspected B & E.)