Thursday, November 20, 2008

Off the record...and a break-in

You guys can all kick my ass, but I totally miss Shawn.

I mean LCB.

It's been like 3 days and I miss him. Not the "him" from the post, of course (the selfish one who clearly doesn't care about me), but the GOOD him. My BFF. The one I love and shit. I keep kind of hoping he'll call 'cuz he misses having me around, too. (P'shaw....like THAT will happen.)

On a totally different note, I had to break into my condo the other day. Brad had a friend in from out of town, and he left the next morning after Brad did. Well, on his way out, he locked the wrong lock--the little turny-lock in the doorknob, which we don't have a key too (we just have a key for the top lock, the dead-bolty one....do you like all the official and highly technical names I'm using? LOL). So I called Brad at work and after he spent the first minute cussing out his friend in a very Tourette-y way, he said, "OOH. I have an idea. The kitchen window (which faces the front, thank God) is unlocked." And then he goes, I SHIT YOU NOT, "If you have a flathead screwdriver handy, you can pop out the screen and get in that way."

Sure, roomie, just hold on a minute while I PULL A FLATHEAD SCREWDRIVER OUT OF MY ASS.

I tried to wedge my keys under the screen, but they were too thick. Then, as I stared at my keychain, inspiration struck.

I wedged my CVS Customer Care Card under the screen and popped it that way.

(Hellz to the yeah, bitches.)

Once I pulled open the window (which is a lot harder from the outside than from the inside, FYI), I threw my purse into the kitchen and pulled myself up the 4.5 feet to the ledge. I did THAT part easily enough...and then proceeded to do the most UNgraceful dive into the kitchen and onto the floor that you have ever seen. I actually laughed at myself, thinking of how freakin' uncoordinated that whole display would have been to anyone who was watching. (And since this condo association is full of OLD PEOPLE, who both 1) are nosy and 2) have nothing better to do, I figured that the "anyone watching" group could conceivably be quite large. In fact, I was a bit paranoid for the first 30 minutes that the cops would show up on a suspected B & E.)

11 comments:

sparkydiva said...

oh christ i need a drink

Jen said...

Don't worry, I'm not gonna call him. The way I figure it, our friendship lasted as long as it did only because I was always the one reaching out, making the effort, etc. And as I said, this one-sided shit is done. I suspect, therefore, that I'll never talk with him again, only because I really don't think he cares enough about me, or the friendship, to make the effort. Hell, I'm willing to wager a pretty penny (Nee--we haven't had a gay phrase in a while) that he hasn't even THOUGHT about me since the last time we talked on Monday (other than "Hey, where's that girl I used to have sex with?"...not that that narrows it down much. Hahahah. Burn!!).

But that's exactly what I mean...it's hard to realize that you matter so little to someone you cared so much about.

And weirdly, it's the little things right now that make me miss him. Like, at karate tonight, we had a guest from a dojo in Canada (totally different style, though). As I talked to him, I found out that he is from the Montreal branch of the company LCB works for, here on business. Normally, I'd leave class and call him with, "Dude, guess who I met tonight?"--probably someone LCB's been working with while this guy has been in town. (Granted, this guy may be in a totally different department and not even cross paths with LCB...but it's the random "small world" kind of moment I would have loved to share with him.)

But hey, that's what you guys are for. Keepin' me strong...and keepin' it real.

And, I can only assume, the day will come when I don't feel this emptiness... like I'm missing something really important.

Renee said...

Okay, now I'm pissed at you guys! I was laughing hard enough at your post, Jen. Then I settled down enough to take a sip of coffee while opening the comments section and choked on YOUR comment, Brandi, which shot coffee out my nose and all over my shirt! Bitches.

LOLOLOLOLOL. I'm still LMAO though.

Jen, you'll get through it, I promise. I know it sucks right now, but I think your life will be better for it once you get over the hurt. Love you!

Nik said...

Even though you know he's a douchebag, you'll miss him for awhile, it's normal. In your moments of weakness, remember how horrible he made/makes you feel. Bottom line, caring about someone shouldn't make you hurt so much or feel that bad. You'll feel better in due time and when you're ready.

As for your acrobatic, damn I wish I were one of your nosy neighbors watching that scene unfold. You didn't hurt yourself did you? I almost expected an injury report at the end.

sparkydiva said...

sorry about the shirt, renee.

*hee*

anna said...

LOL at the break-in & Renee's coffee incident ;)

And ditto to Nik's wise comment. IT'll get better - keep moving forward, don't go backwards.

sparkydiva said...

yeah...especially since, like, two fucking blogs ago you said we wouldn't have to hear about his lyin' cheatin' douchebag ass anymore.

i probably shouldn't type when i'm on cold drugs, huh?

we'll keep you strong - that's what friends are for. you deserve better.

the only thing important you're missing is the RIGHT one. any more time spent on him is just wasted.

keesh said...

I don't think it is wrong to miss the LCB! i mean that is normal. it wasn't always bad...

and the kid post, from your class. holy hell, I was choking up! what a sweet kid!

Jen said...

When I said you wouldnt have to hear about him, I meant any NEW stuff.

That's my disclaimer. =-) I can still mope around, like, every third blog.

sparkydiva said...

oh jeez...semantics. i love ya, jen :)

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