Baby mama drama
I just woke up and there was a dream so fresh in my mind that I had to share it with you.
I had a baby, and like 10 minutes after getting home from the hospital, the kid picked up a piece of hot yellow pepper from the couch and ate it (because, you know, a one-day-old baby could TOTALLY do that and plus, my couch cushions are LADEN with hot peppers). Of course, it got really sick almost immediately--shaking and crying and sweating and puking--and I had to rush it back to the hospital. The doctors were all like, "Wow. We've never had a new mom manage to fuck it up that quickly."
So then I go home, and on the way home we stopped at the store. Well, somehow the baby fell out of the cart (probably because--and I remember this clearly--I had this one-day-old-kid SITTING UP in that seat in the front) and of course, it bumped its little head and I had to go BACK to the hospital. The same doctors were there (because it was like half an hour later), and they looked at me and went, "SERIOUSLY?!"
And I started crying and said, "Well, what the hell do *I* know about being a mom?!"
And then I woke up.
Weird.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Soft-core porn
Just kidding, but here are some post-break in pics.
What you have here is my right shin.
And this is my left thigh. You can't really tell it here, but this particular bruise is about 3 inches wide and 4 inches long.
I have like 3 other bruises, but these two are the most impressive. And frankly, the others might be from karate.
I TOLD you it was an ungraceful fall.
Just kidding, but here are some post-break in pics.
What you have here is my right shin.
And this is my left thigh. You can't really tell it here, but this particular bruise is about 3 inches wide and 4 inches long.
I have like 3 other bruises, but these two are the most impressive. And frankly, the others might be from karate.
I TOLD you it was an ungraceful fall.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Off the record...and a break-in
You guys can all kick my ass, but I totally miss Shawn.
I mean LCB.
It's been like 3 days and I miss him. Not the "him" from the post, of course (the selfish one who clearly doesn't care about me), but the GOOD him. My BFF. The one I love and shit. I keep kind of hoping he'll call 'cuz he misses having me around, too. (P'shaw....like THAT will happen.)
On a totally different note, I had to break into my condo the other day. Brad had a friend in from out of town, and he left the next morning after Brad did. Well, on his way out, he locked the wrong lock--the little turny-lock in the doorknob, which we don't have a key too (we just have a key for the top lock, the dead-bolty one....do you like all the official and highly technical names I'm using? LOL). So I called Brad at work and after he spent the first minute cussing out his friend in a very Tourette-y way, he said, "OOH. I have an idea. The kitchen window (which faces the front, thank God) is unlocked." And then he goes, I SHIT YOU NOT, "If you have a flathead screwdriver handy, you can pop out the screen and get in that way."
Sure, roomie, just hold on a minute while I PULL A FLATHEAD SCREWDRIVER OUT OF MY ASS.
I tried to wedge my keys under the screen, but they were too thick. Then, as I stared at my keychain, inspiration struck.
I wedged my CVS Customer Care Card under the screen and popped it that way.
(Hellz to the yeah, bitches.)
Once I pulled open the window (which is a lot harder from the outside than from the inside, FYI), I threw my purse into the kitchen and pulled myself up the 4.5 feet to the ledge. I did THAT part easily enough...and then proceeded to do the most UNgraceful dive into the kitchen and onto the floor that you have ever seen. I actually laughed at myself, thinking of how freakin' uncoordinated that whole display would have been to anyone who was watching. (And since this condo association is full of OLD PEOPLE, who both 1) are nosy and 2) have nothing better to do, I figured that the "anyone watching" group could conceivably be quite large. In fact, I was a bit paranoid for the first 30 minutes that the cops would show up on a suspected B & E.)
You guys can all kick my ass, but I totally miss Shawn.
I mean LCB.
It's been like 3 days and I miss him. Not the "him" from the post, of course (the selfish one who clearly doesn't care about me), but the GOOD him. My BFF. The one I love and shit. I keep kind of hoping he'll call 'cuz he misses having me around, too. (P'shaw....like THAT will happen.)
On a totally different note, I had to break into my condo the other day. Brad had a friend in from out of town, and he left the next morning after Brad did. Well, on his way out, he locked the wrong lock--the little turny-lock in the doorknob, which we don't have a key too (we just have a key for the top lock, the dead-bolty one....do you like all the official and highly technical names I'm using? LOL). So I called Brad at work and after he spent the first minute cussing out his friend in a very Tourette-y way, he said, "OOH. I have an idea. The kitchen window (which faces the front, thank God) is unlocked." And then he goes, I SHIT YOU NOT, "If you have a flathead screwdriver handy, you can pop out the screen and get in that way."
Sure, roomie, just hold on a minute while I PULL A FLATHEAD SCREWDRIVER OUT OF MY ASS.
I tried to wedge my keys under the screen, but they were too thick. Then, as I stared at my keychain, inspiration struck.
I wedged my CVS Customer Care Card under the screen and popped it that way.
(Hellz to the yeah, bitches.)
Once I pulled open the window (which is a lot harder from the outside than from the inside, FYI), I threw my purse into the kitchen and pulled myself up the 4.5 feet to the ledge. I did THAT part easily enough...and then proceeded to do the most UNgraceful dive into the kitchen and onto the floor that you have ever seen. I actually laughed at myself, thinking of how freakin' uncoordinated that whole display would have been to anyone who was watching. (And since this condo association is full of OLD PEOPLE, who both 1) are nosy and 2) have nothing better to do, I figured that the "anyone watching" group could conceivably be quite large. In fact, I was a bit paranoid for the first 30 minutes that the cops would show up on a suspected B & E.)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
True character
Many of you know that my class this year is MUCH more challenging than my class last year--there's not a bad kid in the bunch, but they're just more talkative and harder to keep focused.
Today, we had our debates for class president. As it happens, we have both a boy and a girl candidate (nominated and voted on by their classmates, of course). When the "primaries" were over and I announced the two candidates, I tried to stress that at that point in the election process, the students shouldn't even have an IDEA of who they were going to vote for, until the candidates gave their speeches to announce their platforms (included proposals: having free time on Friday if they get their work done all week and a "reversal" of my current toy policy--"Whe Miss K. takes a toy away, instead of it going in her filing cabinet till the end of the year, I think that she should give it back to us at the end of the DAY!" That one drew a lot of cheers), selected their vice-presidential running mates and had their debate. There are students, based on the amount of "button-making" as soon as the primaries were over, who backed a particular candidate right from the start simply because so-and-so is "their best friend EVER", but I'm really trying to teach them the importance of determining what a candidate stands for and who will most accurately "represent" them, just like in real life.
For today's debate, I presented the top 5 questions from those submitted by the class (incentive to come up with a really good question: a homework pass). At the end of the debate, I gave each candidate one minute to summarize their "platforms" and have a final shot at capturing the "undecideds" in the room. S., our female candidate, went first. Then C. spoke. He, like S., summarized the changes he would make why he thought he should be elected. Then, just when I thought he'd finished, he said, "And Miss K, can I just say one more thing to the class?" When I gave him the go-ahead, he took a deep breath, stared down at his shoes, and said (the following is not word for word, but it's as close as I can get and accurately reflects the heart of his speech):
"I just want to say that I really hope this election doesn't turn into a boys vs. girls thing and that you vote for the person that you really think would do the best job [ed. note: there are more boys than girls in the class, who a battle of the sexes actually would have been to his advantage]. I mean, if you think I'd be the best president, then okay. That's cool. But I know that some of the guys in the class were gonna vote for me just 'cuz I'm a boy and, um, I just wanted to say that I don't want that. I wouldn't want to win that way anyway, you know? It wouldn't be right. So, um, yeah. I just wanted to say that. Vote for the person you really think would do the best job and stuff...okay." He looked up at me. "That's all."
The room fell silent as everyone absorbed what he had just said. And then, a voice broke the silence:
"Miss. K, are you CRYING?!?!"
"Pfft," I said, trying to look indignant. "No. Of course not. But I do want to say that what C. just said--"
And here my voice broke as I looked up at the ceiling tiles and grabbed a tissue and tried to compose myself, while a whisper of "Dude, she's totally crying" swept the room--
"--I mean, I just think that he showed a lot of character. [Dabbed eyes with tissue] I mean, let's face it, if all the boys DID vote for him just because he's a boy, then he would win [Sniff/Eye Dab]....but he's telling you that he doesn't WANT you to do that, [Voice Crack/Eye Dab] and it's okay for you to vote for S. if you're a boy and for a girl to vote for him, if you think that person would do a better job. [Eye Dab/Sniffle] And, I'm just very proud of BOTH candidates for running such a clean campaign. Never once did they talk badly about each other or try to hurt the other person's campaign [Eye Dab] and, yeah, I'm just so proud of you guys right now. [Eye Dab/Sniffle/Voice Crack/Deep Breath] So let's give them a round of applause." [Applause] "And MAN, these allergies are HORRIBLE! There must be a lot of dust in here or something! Whew!" To which the class erupted with:
"You were TOTALLY CRYING!!"
And this is when I deftly changed the subject by announcing that it was time to pack up and go home.
....(But yeah. I WAS totally crying.)
Many of you know that my class this year is MUCH more challenging than my class last year--there's not a bad kid in the bunch, but they're just more talkative and harder to keep focused.
Today, we had our debates for class president. As it happens, we have both a boy and a girl candidate (nominated and voted on by their classmates, of course). When the "primaries" were over and I announced the two candidates, I tried to stress that at that point in the election process, the students shouldn't even have an IDEA of who they were going to vote for, until the candidates gave their speeches to announce their platforms (included proposals: having free time on Friday if they get their work done all week and a "reversal" of my current toy policy--"Whe Miss K. takes a toy away, instead of it going in her filing cabinet till the end of the year, I think that she should give it back to us at the end of the DAY!" That one drew a lot of cheers), selected their vice-presidential running mates and had their debate. There are students, based on the amount of "button-making" as soon as the primaries were over, who backed a particular candidate right from the start simply because so-and-so is "their best friend EVER", but I'm really trying to teach them the importance of determining what a candidate stands for and who will most accurately "represent" them, just like in real life.
For today's debate, I presented the top 5 questions from those submitted by the class (incentive to come up with a really good question: a homework pass). At the end of the debate, I gave each candidate one minute to summarize their "platforms" and have a final shot at capturing the "undecideds" in the room. S., our female candidate, went first. Then C. spoke. He, like S., summarized the changes he would make why he thought he should be elected. Then, just when I thought he'd finished, he said, "And Miss K, can I just say one more thing to the class?" When I gave him the go-ahead, he took a deep breath, stared down at his shoes, and said (the following is not word for word, but it's as close as I can get and accurately reflects the heart of his speech):
"I just want to say that I really hope this election doesn't turn into a boys vs. girls thing and that you vote for the person that you really think would do the best job [ed. note: there are more boys than girls in the class, who a battle of the sexes actually would have been to his advantage]. I mean, if you think I'd be the best president, then okay. That's cool. But I know that some of the guys in the class were gonna vote for me just 'cuz I'm a boy and, um, I just wanted to say that I don't want that. I wouldn't want to win that way anyway, you know? It wouldn't be right. So, um, yeah. I just wanted to say that. Vote for the person you really think would do the best job and stuff...okay." He looked up at me. "That's all."
The room fell silent as everyone absorbed what he had just said. And then, a voice broke the silence:
"Miss. K, are you CRYING?!?!"
"Pfft," I said, trying to look indignant. "No. Of course not. But I do want to say that what C. just said--"
And here my voice broke as I looked up at the ceiling tiles and grabbed a tissue and tried to compose myself, while a whisper of "Dude, she's totally crying" swept the room--
"--I mean, I just think that he showed a lot of character. [Dabbed eyes with tissue] I mean, let's face it, if all the boys DID vote for him just because he's a boy, then he would win [Sniff/Eye Dab]....but he's telling you that he doesn't WANT you to do that, [Voice Crack/Eye Dab] and it's okay for you to vote for S. if you're a boy and for a girl to vote for him, if you think that person would do a better job. [Eye Dab/Sniffle] And, I'm just very proud of BOTH candidates for running such a clean campaign. Never once did they talk badly about each other or try to hurt the other person's campaign [Eye Dab] and, yeah, I'm just so proud of you guys right now. [Eye Dab/Sniffle/Voice Crack/Deep Breath] So let's give them a round of applause." [Applause] "And MAN, these allergies are HORRIBLE! There must be a lot of dust in here or something! Whew!" To which the class erupted with:
"You were TOTALLY CRYING!!"
And this is when I deftly changed the subject by announcing that it was time to pack up and go home.
....(But yeah. I WAS totally crying.)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Slight update/clarification
I'm leaving my original post in its entirety (see below), because it really does communicate the hurt and anger that I feel towards C-Boy. I do want to say, though ('cuz I know some of you were wondering)--no, nothing dramatic or even NEW happened. It's just more of the same, really--claiming to care yet always putting me last and basically making me feel like I was the only one in that friendship/relationship/what-have-you. For months--hell, the whole time I knew him, really--I wanted and hoped to become as important to him as he was to me, and that he'd become the friend to me that I truly tried to be to him. But I was, from day one, fighting a losing battle. And instead of getting my heart--and feelings--hurt over and over and over, it was time to give up.
It was, quite simply, a one-sided situation--and I was tired of always being put last, of him making plans with me ONLY when nothing better came along or his original plans fell through, of him wanting me around when it was convenient for HIM. He was just such an incredibly important person in MY life, and it took me a loooonnnnngggggg time to open my eyes and see that that sentiment was never returned on his end.
Bottom line: a true friend, let alone "boyfriend," would not always make you feel like crap. Yeah, I know: obvious to YOU guys, LOL, but again, it sometimes takes a little longer for me to "get" things. ;) When we hung out, we always had a great time--but it was always when HE wanted to, on HIS terms, and usually at the last minute (because, as I now see, he always wanted to keep his options open). It really started to hurt that he would never commit to something ahead of time--I was never important enough for him to make actual plans with, say, for the next weekend. I was never one of those people that he knew, no matter what, he wanted to see this weekend (for example)--he'd make plans with the people he truly cared about, plan the things that really mattered, and then fit me into whatever time was left--and if there WASN'T time left, then oh well. He could take me or leave me, basically. (That last part really cuts to the core of the issue.) And that may not SEEM like a big deal--unless you just so happened to be in love with that person. In that case, it really sucked.
Anyway. There's some clarification. And now, please see below for my original Alanis-esque rant. ;)
I'm leaving my original post in its entirety (see below), because it really does communicate the hurt and anger that I feel towards C-Boy. I do want to say, though ('cuz I know some of you were wondering)--no, nothing dramatic or even NEW happened. It's just more of the same, really--claiming to care yet always putting me last and basically making me feel like I was the only one in that friendship/relationship/what-have-you. For months--hell, the whole time I knew him, really--I wanted and hoped to become as important to him as he was to me, and that he'd become the friend to me that I truly tried to be to him. But I was, from day one, fighting a losing battle. And instead of getting my heart--and feelings--hurt over and over and over, it was time to give up.
It was, quite simply, a one-sided situation--and I was tired of always being put last, of him making plans with me ONLY when nothing better came along or his original plans fell through, of him wanting me around when it was convenient for HIM. He was just such an incredibly important person in MY life, and it took me a loooonnnnngggggg time to open my eyes and see that that sentiment was never returned on his end.
Bottom line: a true friend, let alone "boyfriend," would not always make you feel like crap. Yeah, I know: obvious to YOU guys, LOL, but again, it sometimes takes a little longer for me to "get" things. ;) When we hung out, we always had a great time--but it was always when HE wanted to, on HIS terms, and usually at the last minute (because, as I now see, he always wanted to keep his options open). It really started to hurt that he would never commit to something ahead of time--I was never important enough for him to make actual plans with, say, for the next weekend. I was never one of those people that he knew, no matter what, he wanted to see this weekend (for example)--he'd make plans with the people he truly cared about, plan the things that really mattered, and then fit me into whatever time was left--and if there WASN'T time left, then oh well. He could take me or leave me, basically. (That last part really cuts to the core of the issue.) And that may not SEEM like a big deal--unless you just so happened to be in love with that person. In that case, it really sucked.
Anyway. There's some clarification. And now, please see below for my original Alanis-esque rant. ;)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Adios, C-Boy
I hereby pledge that you will never hear another word about C-Boy (formerly known as LCB) again. As it turns out, you are/were all correct: he is a self-centered piece of shit and I apologize for taking so long to see the light. I had sincerely hoped that there was a decent guy in there somewhere who truly cared about me and was worth believing in...but he proved, once again, that I was mistaken.
I am a slow learner, to be sure (LOL: to which I hear a chorus of "NOOOO.....really?!?!?!?"). But I guess I need to learn lessons the hard way, even if it means having my heart trampled on and my faith in others kicked to the curb. I know that there are good men out there, sure. And I also believe that I'm learning all of these lessons for a reason. But sometimes I wonder why the ones I love the most are also the ones who disappoint me the most.
I'm very bitter and hurt right now because, even though you all think I'm a dumbass sometimes ;) , I still believe that those I love will rise to the occastion and not let me down; that I love them for a REASON-- that's it NOT all for nothing; that when I stand there and have their backs NO MATTER WHAT, they will show me that they were worth taking a chance on. I guess, overall, I just feel...disappointed. And again, it's my own fault--I just wish I wasn't so blind when I love someone, and that I could listen to those around me--the ones who can see what I'm not able (or willing) to see.
It's just a hard lesson to learn about someone you believed in 100%.
And yes, I bitch and moan about wanting to be happy and finding a good man, and then I find a guy like C-Boy and waste my time (because yes, that's all he was/is, a waste of my fucking time, and of my HEART for that matter), and for you, it's like watching a horror movie, throwing your popcorn at the screen, shouting, "Girl, DON'T GO DOWN THOSE STAIRS!!!" It's so damn obvious to those who are on the outside looking in....but for me, when I'm actually wrapped up IN it, it's not that clear cut. Because see, when I love someone, it's because I see the good in them. Or at least I think I do.
But more often than not, I'm completely wrong.
I'm putting my faith in the wrong damn places--and in the wrong damn people. My radar is completely off these days. And that makes me wonder: when the right guy DOES come along, will I be able to recognize him?
And why does someone who is relatively smart is other areas of her life become so freakin' STUPID when it comes to being in love?
I hereby pledge that you will never hear another word about C-Boy (formerly known as LCB) again. As it turns out, you are/were all correct: he is a self-centered piece of shit and I apologize for taking so long to see the light. I had sincerely hoped that there was a decent guy in there somewhere who truly cared about me and was worth believing in...but he proved, once again, that I was mistaken.
I am a slow learner, to be sure (LOL: to which I hear a chorus of "NOOOO.....really?!?!?!?"). But I guess I need to learn lessons the hard way, even if it means having my heart trampled on and my faith in others kicked to the curb. I know that there are good men out there, sure. And I also believe that I'm learning all of these lessons for a reason. But sometimes I wonder why the ones I love the most are also the ones who disappoint me the most.
I'm very bitter and hurt right now because, even though you all think I'm a dumbass sometimes ;) , I still believe that those I love will rise to the occastion and not let me down; that I love them for a REASON-- that's it NOT all for nothing; that when I stand there and have their backs NO MATTER WHAT, they will show me that they were worth taking a chance on. I guess, overall, I just feel...disappointed. And again, it's my own fault--I just wish I wasn't so blind when I love someone, and that I could listen to those around me--the ones who can see what I'm not able (or willing) to see.
It's just a hard lesson to learn about someone you believed in 100%.
And yes, I bitch and moan about wanting to be happy and finding a good man, and then I find a guy like C-Boy and waste my time (because yes, that's all he was/is, a waste of my fucking time, and of my HEART for that matter), and for you, it's like watching a horror movie, throwing your popcorn at the screen, shouting, "Girl, DON'T GO DOWN THOSE STAIRS!!!" It's so damn obvious to those who are on the outside looking in....but for me, when I'm actually wrapped up IN it, it's not that clear cut. Because see, when I love someone, it's because I see the good in them. Or at least I think I do.
But more often than not, I'm completely wrong.
I'm putting my faith in the wrong damn places--and in the wrong damn people. My radar is completely off these days. And that makes me wonder: when the right guy DOES come along, will I be able to recognize him?
And why does someone who is relatively smart is other areas of her life become so freakin' STUPID when it comes to being in love?
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Just a really, really weird day
Two very unusual things happened yesterday (and they are totally unrelated, other than the fact that they both took place at our after-work hangout).
The first: about 5 of us were having a few drinks in the outside patio area. All of a sudden, a little tiny baby squirrel (it was ADORABLE) ran up onto the patio. It sat there for a minute and then started scampering around. It didn't seem to be scared of the people; it was more curious, just kind of checking things out. Some of the servers tried to shoo it off the patio and back into the lawn area, but Squirrel wasn't having any of it.
Some male servers and bartenders went up to it, and Squirrel just kind of sat there and watched them. They were talking to it and stuff--it was really cute. Suddenly, Squirrel ran over and just sat on one of their feet. We were like, Holy crap!!--because that right there is something you don't normally see a wild squirrel do. But then--it started to SCAMPER UP HIS LEG (he was wearing pants).
We (all the customers, servers, bartenders, everyone) were just amazed. It was so cool to see. But then it kept going--climbing up his leg all the way to his waist. (At this point, he started getting a little worried--"What do I do? What if it climbs up to my face??") So he and another customer started walking--Squirrel in tow--across the patio and back over to the grassy area. (While this was going on, several other customers arrived and did a double-take--"Is that a SQUIRREL??" Like I said that's not something you see every day.) When they reached the grass, the server did this little shimmy and Squirrel jumped off.
Like I said....just a weird thing to see.
Second: my neck was hurting pretty badly by the end of the school day yesterday. When I'm home, just watching TV or something, it isn't too bad--but after 6 hours of basically turning my head in every possible direction, I was definitely feeling it. One of the other teachers hadn't heard about my latest medical malady yet, so I caught her up to speed. When I mentioned which vertebrae were affected, she goes, "Wow, that's crazy! I have problems with those same exact ones!"
AND THEN SHE GOES:
"And you know what, back when they were trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with me, they did a brain scan and these weird little dark spots showed up on it. They told me they thought it might be MS and everything--I was totally freaking out. I had to go back for a couple of follow-up MRIs, every 6 months--and those dark spots had completely disappeared! The doctors couldn't figure it out, so they figured it was just a bad MRI. And then later on, I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disorder and it was affecting my 3rd, 4th and 5th vertebrae. Weird, huh?"
By this time, of course, I'm starting at her with my mouth hanging open, totally dumbfounded, and my friend Kelly was like, "Oh my God, Jen! Oh my God!" I told this teacher (and the others at the table) that the SAME EXACT THING happened to me almost exactly two years ago--a routine eye exam showed a possible problem of some kind, so I got an MRI; dark spots were showing up in one part of my brain; the doctor told me it might be MS; I was panicking for a few months; went back for a follow up MRI and the spots were no longer there--so they, too, ruled it as a bad MRI. And now, two years later, an Xray revealed problems with my 3rd, 4th and 5th vertebrae. (He didn't say anything about DDD, though--just the beginnings of arthritis.)
By this time, the other teacher and I are staring at each other like we just realized we were separated at birth. (But she's black, so I don't think that's possible.)
I don't know what, if anything, this means or if the vanishing brain spots/vertebrae issues are in any way connected--but isn't that WEIRD?
Two very unusual things happened yesterday (and they are totally unrelated, other than the fact that they both took place at our after-work hangout).
The first: about 5 of us were having a few drinks in the outside patio area. All of a sudden, a little tiny baby squirrel (it was ADORABLE) ran up onto the patio. It sat there for a minute and then started scampering around. It didn't seem to be scared of the people; it was more curious, just kind of checking things out. Some of the servers tried to shoo it off the patio and back into the lawn area, but Squirrel wasn't having any of it.
Some male servers and bartenders went up to it, and Squirrel just kind of sat there and watched them. They were talking to it and stuff--it was really cute. Suddenly, Squirrel ran over and just sat on one of their feet. We were like, Holy crap!!--because that right there is something you don't normally see a wild squirrel do. But then--it started to SCAMPER UP HIS LEG (he was wearing pants).
We (all the customers, servers, bartenders, everyone) were just amazed. It was so cool to see. But then it kept going--climbing up his leg all the way to his waist. (At this point, he started getting a little worried--"What do I do? What if it climbs up to my face??") So he and another customer started walking--Squirrel in tow--across the patio and back over to the grassy area. (While this was going on, several other customers arrived and did a double-take--"Is that a SQUIRREL??" Like I said that's not something you see every day.) When they reached the grass, the server did this little shimmy and Squirrel jumped off.
Like I said....just a weird thing to see.
Second: my neck was hurting pretty badly by the end of the school day yesterday. When I'm home, just watching TV or something, it isn't too bad--but after 6 hours of basically turning my head in every possible direction, I was definitely feeling it. One of the other teachers hadn't heard about my latest medical malady yet, so I caught her up to speed. When I mentioned which vertebrae were affected, she goes, "Wow, that's crazy! I have problems with those same exact ones!"
AND THEN SHE GOES:
"And you know what, back when they were trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with me, they did a brain scan and these weird little dark spots showed up on it. They told me they thought it might be MS and everything--I was totally freaking out. I had to go back for a couple of follow-up MRIs, every 6 months--and those dark spots had completely disappeared! The doctors couldn't figure it out, so they figured it was just a bad MRI. And then later on, I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disorder and it was affecting my 3rd, 4th and 5th vertebrae. Weird, huh?"
By this time, of course, I'm starting at her with my mouth hanging open, totally dumbfounded, and my friend Kelly was like, "Oh my God, Jen! Oh my God!" I told this teacher (and the others at the table) that the SAME EXACT THING happened to me almost exactly two years ago--a routine eye exam showed a possible problem of some kind, so I got an MRI; dark spots were showing up in one part of my brain; the doctor told me it might be MS; I was panicking for a few months; went back for a follow up MRI and the spots were no longer there--so they, too, ruled it as a bad MRI. And now, two years later, an Xray revealed problems with my 3rd, 4th and 5th vertebrae. (He didn't say anything about DDD, though--just the beginnings of arthritis.)
By this time, the other teacher and I are staring at each other like we just realized we were separated at birth. (But she's black, so I don't think that's possible.)
I don't know what, if anything, this means or if the vanishing brain spots/vertebrae issues are in any way connected--but isn't that WEIRD?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Easily Amused
First: today sucked. And I mean, it SUCKED. I went in, but I was hurting in a way that I haven't since, oh, giving birth. I did manage to sleep for a few hours, at least--a definite step up from the night before--but I was flat on my back (shut up, bitches)--and if my neck shifted at ALL in the middle of the night, I immediately woke right up (usually swearing). In the morning, I popped a couple of my muscle relaxers (FYI: I am NOT impressed. They don't seem to be doing shit for me) and a prescripion Motrin and went to work. I mean, let's face it, staying home wouldn't have done much good in this case. I was gonna hurt either way. I did, however, turn my lights off and cry in my room for a few minutes at lunchtime. And my lessons sounded something like this (in the examples below, guess the part at which I would forget about my neck and suddenly move or turn it):
"A prime number is a number that only has 2 factors. In other words, the only way you can get that number is to multiply--owowowowowow!!!--that number and itself."
Or
"Remember, the Patriots were fighting for freedom from Britain. The Loyalists--owwwwwwwwwwwww!!--wanted the colonies to stay under British control."
Or
"In a chemical change, a whole new--motherfucker!! Son of a bitch!! Jesus, that one hurt!! Holy fuck!--substance is formed."
Okay, so that last one didn't happen. But I totally had to bite my tongue.
Yeah, I was pretty miserable.
Anyway, within minutes of coming into the room this morning, my kids noticed that something was wrong, from the way I was turning my body to talk to them rather than just my head. Once everyone was in, I gave them the short version ("I hurt my neck this weekend and it's really stiff, so I can't move it very well") and we started our day.
After about 20 minutes, a boy raised his hand.
"Miss K, I don't mean to be rude," he started. "But your perfume REALLY stinks."
I grinned.
"Oh, you guys can smell that, huh? That's not perfume," I told him. "It's Ben Gay."
Oh. My. God. The entire room was immediately in an uproar.
"WHAT is Ben?" one kid asked.
"Wait, who's Ben?" wondered another.
"Guys," I said calmly. "You've heard of Icy Hot, right? It's just like that. But it's called Ben Gay."
"Why is it called THAT?" someone asked.
"Because," I started. Then I stopped. "Huh. You know, I'm not exactly sure. But that's what it's called, and it makes my neck feel better. Let's move on."
A little while later, I noticed a group whispering and giggling. "Hey," I said. "Work on your assignment, please."
"Miss K?" one of them innocently asked. "What's that stuff on your neck called again?"
I, of course, fell for it. "Ben Gay."
They all cracked up again.
Heh.
ps--I go back to the chiro tomorrow. He could only do a few minor things to me on Tuesday because the injury was so new and I was still pretty stiff and sore. But you know how some people absolutely hate the dentist? That's how I feel about chiropractors--and it's why I've never been to one. Hell, just the sound of KNUCKLES cracking is like nails on a chalkboard for me. The idea of my neck and back sounding like that totally skeeves me out. I'm just so squeamish about the whole thing--even if it doesn't hurt, it's the SOUND. And even though people say that a chiro visit makes you feel SOOOOOO good--how does it not HURT? He's jerking your NECK and SPINE around!! Ugh.
First: today sucked. And I mean, it SUCKED. I went in, but I was hurting in a way that I haven't since, oh, giving birth. I did manage to sleep for a few hours, at least--a definite step up from the night before--but I was flat on my back (shut up, bitches)--and if my neck shifted at ALL in the middle of the night, I immediately woke right up (usually swearing). In the morning, I popped a couple of my muscle relaxers (FYI: I am NOT impressed. They don't seem to be doing shit for me) and a prescripion Motrin and went to work. I mean, let's face it, staying home wouldn't have done much good in this case. I was gonna hurt either way. I did, however, turn my lights off and cry in my room for a few minutes at lunchtime. And my lessons sounded something like this (in the examples below, guess the part at which I would forget about my neck and suddenly move or turn it):
"A prime number is a number that only has 2 factors. In other words, the only way you can get that number is to multiply--owowowowowow!!!--that number and itself."
Or
"Remember, the Patriots were fighting for freedom from Britain. The Loyalists--owwwwwwwwwwwww!!--wanted the colonies to stay under British control."
Or
"In a chemical change, a whole new--motherfucker!! Son of a bitch!! Jesus, that one hurt!! Holy fuck!--substance is formed."
Okay, so that last one didn't happen. But I totally had to bite my tongue.
Yeah, I was pretty miserable.
Anyway, within minutes of coming into the room this morning, my kids noticed that something was wrong, from the way I was turning my body to talk to them rather than just my head. Once everyone was in, I gave them the short version ("I hurt my neck this weekend and it's really stiff, so I can't move it very well") and we started our day.
After about 20 minutes, a boy raised his hand.
"Miss K, I don't mean to be rude," he started. "But your perfume REALLY stinks."
I grinned.
"Oh, you guys can smell that, huh? That's not perfume," I told him. "It's Ben Gay."
Oh. My. God. The entire room was immediately in an uproar.
"WHAT is Ben?" one kid asked.
"Wait, who's Ben?" wondered another.
"Guys," I said calmly. "You've heard of Icy Hot, right? It's just like that. But it's called Ben Gay."
"Why is it called THAT?" someone asked.
"Because," I started. Then I stopped. "Huh. You know, I'm not exactly sure. But that's what it's called, and it makes my neck feel better. Let's move on."
A little while later, I noticed a group whispering and giggling. "Hey," I said. "Work on your assignment, please."
"Miss K?" one of them innocently asked. "What's that stuff on your neck called again?"
I, of course, fell for it. "Ben Gay."
They all cracked up again.
Heh.
ps--I go back to the chiro tomorrow. He could only do a few minor things to me on Tuesday because the injury was so new and I was still pretty stiff and sore. But you know how some people absolutely hate the dentist? That's how I feel about chiropractors--and it's why I've never been to one. Hell, just the sound of KNUCKLES cracking is like nails on a chalkboard for me. The idea of my neck and back sounding like that totally skeeves me out. I'm just so squeamish about the whole thing--even if it doesn't hurt, it's the SOUND. And even though people say that a chiro visit makes you feel SOOOOOO good--how does it not HURT? He's jerking your NECK and SPINE around!! Ugh.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Back in the saddle again (or the dojo, anyway)
I returned to karate tonight--and damn, it felt GOOD. And I gotta say, I hadn't lost as much as I thought I might have (sure, she had to correct a few stances, kicks and punches here and there, but no more than she usually does, LOL). One thing that's striking me, though, even as I type this--I'm already getting kind of sore. I remember after my very first class and how I was pretty stiff and sore afterwards--and then after a while it just went away. It guess it speaks to how decent of shape I was in (that sentence doesn't sound quite right, but you know what I mean), when I was going regularly and being able to "take it" physically, compared to now, when I do feel a bit rusty. It's just like going to the gym, really--the first couple of times, you hurt like hell, but after getting into the habit, you just feel GOOD and energized. Damn--I was stronger than I thought for a while there. =-)
I told Sensei, too, that I was pretty sure I was going to have to drop my Masters work (both the semester and the program). I think I earned a few notches of respect when I told her that karate was more important to me...not that she would EVER encourage or ask me to stop my Masters work and put karate first, but the fact that I sat down on my own, did some thinking and prioritizing in my own life and came to that conclusion independently made her very happy. The Masters thing isn't a done deal--I talk to my advisor tomorrow--but frankly, unless I can get an extension (and this may be shady, but I'm totally going to play the "bipolar card" and see if I can get some kind of medical extension, if such a thing even exists), there's NO WAY I can finish this term. And you know, my Masters work has been hanging over me, adding to my stress level and just puts "one more thing" on my plate; hell, making even the tentative decision to just drop it and refocus on other things has already lifted a tremendous burden from my shoulders. And I just cannot put into words how good I felt to be back at the dojo, even just after one class. I stand taller, I'm more focused, I'm SMILING again--it's like nature's antidepressant. (OOOH. New campaign slogan: "Karate: Nature's Prozac.") Karate doesn't ADD to my stress level; it RELIEVES it. And I truly feel, at a very gut level, that all things considered--both internally (like the bipolar) and externally (lying fuckfaces)--that karate is where I need to focus myself. I'd rather do one thing at 100% than 2 things at 50%. And my psychic TOLD ME to follow my gut instincts more, so I am.
And the coolest part was that Sensei had a birthday present for me. (LOL--I don't say that like "Whoo hoo, I got a present!!" I say that because of the gift itself.) She gave me "The Bible of Karate"--and I don't know why, maybe it's the crazy and/or PMS in me, but I got a little misty- eyed when she gave it to me. I guess it's because I know how much karate means to HER--she truly lives and breathes it; it's in her BLOOD--and it was almost symbolic, I guess, that she recognizes that same fire is in me. I don't know if that makes sense.
But it meant the world to me.
I was a bit thrown, though, when I asked her if she thought I'd still be ready and able to test for my green belt in early February (after missing a few weeks) and she says, all casually, "Yes, of course you will--oh, and by the way, I moved promotions to mid January." Um, yeah, that's like TWO MONTHS from now. You generally need roughly four, MAYBE three months. But assuming that I get back on board hardcore and even throw in some Saturday classes as well, who knows?
I returned to karate tonight--and damn, it felt GOOD. And I gotta say, I hadn't lost as much as I thought I might have (sure, she had to correct a few stances, kicks and punches here and there, but no more than she usually does, LOL). One thing that's striking me, though, even as I type this--I'm already getting kind of sore. I remember after my very first class and how I was pretty stiff and sore afterwards--and then after a while it just went away. It guess it speaks to how decent of shape I was in (that sentence doesn't sound quite right, but you know what I mean), when I was going regularly and being able to "take it" physically, compared to now, when I do feel a bit rusty. It's just like going to the gym, really--the first couple of times, you hurt like hell, but after getting into the habit, you just feel GOOD and energized. Damn--I was stronger than I thought for a while there. =-)
I told Sensei, too, that I was pretty sure I was going to have to drop my Masters work (both the semester and the program). I think I earned a few notches of respect when I told her that karate was more important to me...not that she would EVER encourage or ask me to stop my Masters work and put karate first, but the fact that I sat down on my own, did some thinking and prioritizing in my own life and came to that conclusion independently made her very happy. The Masters thing isn't a done deal--I talk to my advisor tomorrow--but frankly, unless I can get an extension (and this may be shady, but I'm totally going to play the "bipolar card" and see if I can get some kind of medical extension, if such a thing even exists), there's NO WAY I can finish this term. And you know, my Masters work has been hanging over me, adding to my stress level and just puts "one more thing" on my plate; hell, making even the tentative decision to just drop it and refocus on other things has already lifted a tremendous burden from my shoulders. And I just cannot put into words how good I felt to be back at the dojo, even just after one class. I stand taller, I'm more focused, I'm SMILING again--it's like nature's antidepressant. (OOOH. New campaign slogan: "Karate: Nature's Prozac.") Karate doesn't ADD to my stress level; it RELIEVES it. And I truly feel, at a very gut level, that all things considered--both internally (like the bipolar) and externally (lying fuckfaces)--that karate is where I need to focus myself. I'd rather do one thing at 100% than 2 things at 50%. And my psychic TOLD ME to follow my gut instincts more, so I am.
And the coolest part was that Sensei had a birthday present for me. (LOL--I don't say that like "Whoo hoo, I got a present!!" I say that because of the gift itself.) She gave me "The Bible of Karate"--and I don't know why, maybe it's the crazy and/or PMS in me, but I got a little misty- eyed when she gave it to me. I guess it's because I know how much karate means to HER--she truly lives and breathes it; it's in her BLOOD--and it was almost symbolic, I guess, that she recognizes that same fire is in me. I don't know if that makes sense.
But it meant the world to me.
I was a bit thrown, though, when I asked her if she thought I'd still be ready and able to test for my green belt in early February (after missing a few weeks) and she says, all casually, "Yes, of course you will--oh, and by the way, I moved promotions to mid January." Um, yeah, that's like TWO MONTHS from now. You generally need roughly four, MAYBE three months. But assuming that I get back on board hardcore and even throw in some Saturday classes as well, who knows?
Crazy is as crazy does
I'm going to crazy doc today, and it's a good thing. Don't get me wrong--my new meds have been working very well at keeping me "down"--as evidenced again last night, when I went off on LCB while he was here. Everything that I've been keeping in for the last 4 months or so of this little love triangle came out--but it was the most sane "fight" I've ever had. Sure, I yelled at him and said some harsh things...but all of it, as even he admitted, was true and deserved. (And really, there's no NICE way to call someone a "selfish, self-absorbed man whore".) But the only thing I threw at him was a tshirt....and I didn't punch him in his stupid lying mouth, so that's a definite step up. And I was even able to actually TALK at various points, calmly and rationally.
But I think that the pills are actually sending me in the OPPOSITE direction and making me a little down. I haven't been to karate in like a month, guys. I told Sensei it was because I had to get all of my Masters stuff done before the deadline here in a few days....but then I couldn't get motivated to work on THAT, either, so I'm probably going to fail the semester. I just didn't CARE. Frankly, I was probably going to drop my Masters work for a while anyway, because right now karate is way more important to me and I've seen that it's impossible to juggle EVERYTHING. But I definitely feel a lot more "blah" these days, and although I'm sure part of it is being stuck in this whole LCB Seventh Level of Hell situation, I really think there's more to it. She might just try a whole different med (AGAIN), but I know that it's not uncommon for BPs to be on one med to keep them from going too high and another to make sure they don't go too low. And let's face it: my kind of crazy probably needs more than one kind of med. =-)
I also have a regular doc appointment this afternoon--I had gone in for some bloodwork just to rule out a physical reason why I've been so tired and blah-like, but my gut says that those tests will come out normal.
I'm going to crazy doc today, and it's a good thing. Don't get me wrong--my new meds have been working very well at keeping me "down"--as evidenced again last night, when I went off on LCB while he was here. Everything that I've been keeping in for the last 4 months or so of this little love triangle came out--but it was the most sane "fight" I've ever had. Sure, I yelled at him and said some harsh things...but all of it, as even he admitted, was true and deserved. (And really, there's no NICE way to call someone a "selfish, self-absorbed man whore".) But the only thing I threw at him was a tshirt....and I didn't punch him in his stupid lying mouth, so that's a definite step up. And I was even able to actually TALK at various points, calmly and rationally.
But I think that the pills are actually sending me in the OPPOSITE direction and making me a little down. I haven't been to karate in like a month, guys. I told Sensei it was because I had to get all of my Masters stuff done before the deadline here in a few days....but then I couldn't get motivated to work on THAT, either, so I'm probably going to fail the semester. I just didn't CARE. Frankly, I was probably going to drop my Masters work for a while anyway, because right now karate is way more important to me and I've seen that it's impossible to juggle EVERYTHING. But I definitely feel a lot more "blah" these days, and although I'm sure part of it is being stuck in this whole LCB Seventh Level of Hell situation, I really think there's more to it. She might just try a whole different med (AGAIN), but I know that it's not uncommon for BPs to be on one med to keep them from going too high and another to make sure they don't go too low. And let's face it: my kind of crazy probably needs more than one kind of med. =-)
I also have a regular doc appointment this afternoon--I had gone in for some bloodwork just to rule out a physical reason why I've been so tired and blah-like, but my gut says that those tests will come out normal.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Election-palooza
So first, I'll say that, for the first time in my life, I voted Republican. I'm registered as an independant and have never been compelled to cross over to the Red Side before--in fact, my values and beliefs are still staunchly Democrat (hell, I voted for gay marriage and several other very liberal, progressive issues on the state ballot this year, even as I cast my vote for John McCain). This was, for me, the hardest election of my life and I really didn't make up my mind until the moment that I went into the voting booth. I'm not SAD that Obama won an didn't necessarily have anything against him--I just felt that McCain had more experience and was better prepared to be President.
But still, Obama won (although I was moved to tears by McCain's concession speech and actually shared parts of it with my students--what an amazingly classy and gracious speech)--and whether you like the guy or not, it's an incredibly historic moment for our country. We've done a lot with the election in class, of course, and today for social studies, we just had an informal conversation about the election and its results. Our newspaper donated 25 issues of today's paper to our classroom--and as I held up the front page, with Obama's picture on the front page and the headline declaring his victory, I kind of got choked up again. This is the type of front page that you save to show your kids and your grandkids--it's THAT monumental.
Fifth grade is really a great grade to be teaching during this particular election year--they were only in first grade for the last election and of course have no real recollection of it. This is the first election that's really on their radars--and WOW, what a year it is. For their generation, race and color really ISN'T an issue--their friends are their friends and for them, color doesn't come into play. They just don't seem to have an awareness of it, period (at least, these kids don't). For them, the significant thing isn't necessarily that Obama is our first black President--they just don't understand why we haven't had one before, if that makes sense. The fact that a black President is so "newsworthy" seems to shock them more. Anyway, this whole process, and especially the results, have provided some invaluable teachable moments, and I feel blessed to have been given this opportunity with my students. As a closing activity today, I had them write a one-page letter to their kids and grandkids, just explaining what this moment in history has been like for them--what it's like to see it and read about it and witness it. I look forward to reading their letters.
And one of the coolest things, from a teacher standpoint: on Tuesday, we did an activity on the Electoral College and how it works. Today, I asked how many of them had watched at least SOME of the coverage and of course, most of them had. And they were so excited: "Miss K, we actually knew what they were talking about when they were adding up all those numbers and stuff!" LOL. That's pretty awesome, though. It's always great when something you're teaching actually sinks in and affects them.
So first, I'll say that, for the first time in my life, I voted Republican. I'm registered as an independant and have never been compelled to cross over to the Red Side before--in fact, my values and beliefs are still staunchly Democrat (hell, I voted for gay marriage and several other very liberal, progressive issues on the state ballot this year, even as I cast my vote for John McCain). This was, for me, the hardest election of my life and I really didn't make up my mind until the moment that I went into the voting booth. I'm not SAD that Obama won an didn't necessarily have anything against him--I just felt that McCain had more experience and was better prepared to be President.
But still, Obama won (although I was moved to tears by McCain's concession speech and actually shared parts of it with my students--what an amazingly classy and gracious speech)--and whether you like the guy or not, it's an incredibly historic moment for our country. We've done a lot with the election in class, of course, and today for social studies, we just had an informal conversation about the election and its results. Our newspaper donated 25 issues of today's paper to our classroom--and as I held up the front page, with Obama's picture on the front page and the headline declaring his victory, I kind of got choked up again. This is the type of front page that you save to show your kids and your grandkids--it's THAT monumental.
Fifth grade is really a great grade to be teaching during this particular election year--they were only in first grade for the last election and of course have no real recollection of it. This is the first election that's really on their radars--and WOW, what a year it is. For their generation, race and color really ISN'T an issue--their friends are their friends and for them, color doesn't come into play. They just don't seem to have an awareness of it, period (at least, these kids don't). For them, the significant thing isn't necessarily that Obama is our first black President--they just don't understand why we haven't had one before, if that makes sense. The fact that a black President is so "newsworthy" seems to shock them more. Anyway, this whole process, and especially the results, have provided some invaluable teachable moments, and I feel blessed to have been given this opportunity with my students. As a closing activity today, I had them write a one-page letter to their kids and grandkids, just explaining what this moment in history has been like for them--what it's like to see it and read about it and witness it. I look forward to reading their letters.
And one of the coolest things, from a teacher standpoint: on Tuesday, we did an activity on the Electoral College and how it works. Today, I asked how many of them had watched at least SOME of the coverage and of course, most of them had. And they were so excited: "Miss K, we actually knew what they were talking about when they were adding up all those numbers and stuff!" LOL. That's pretty awesome, though. It's always great when something you're teaching actually sinks in and affects them.
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Psychic adventures
As the culmination of my birthday celebrations, I went to a psychic today. It was, overall, a very positive experience. Unlike last time, I didn't receive any kind of recording of the reading, so I'm relying on my memory. I know there are already things that I've forgotten, but here are some major themes and specific messages that came through:
1) Let's get right to the good stuff: I'm getting married--and in about 2 years!!! Whoo hoo!! That also jibes with what the first psychic said, who predicted that I'd be married in my "mid 30s" (and in 2 years I'll be 34). I haven't met him yet (more on that later), but he's a very "laid back, easy going guy". While not rich, he is definitely "comfortable." He will probably already have a child or two, but she thinks I'll have at least one more (while the child vibe doesn't come through as clearly for me as it does for others--which is what the first psychic said, too--this one does feel that there's at least "one energy" who wants to come into the world. She said that online dating may very well be the way I meet him, although she was also feeling a "Home Depot" connection. LOLOL. Yeah, cuz I do so much in the home improvement arena. I'll tell you one thing, though--forget Shoeless Joe's. HI is totally my new hangout spot.
2) As soon as I came in, she said that a female energy came in with me, one who passed from heart problems. This would be Grandma. And it's funny, because in my first reading, no one came through--but at the time, no one close to me had passed away. So it's interesting that this time, she picked up on one right away. She talked a little bit about Grandma; I won't bore you with the details but most of it seemed to fit, although there are some things I want to ask Dad about. Speaking of Dad, Grandma kept talking about someone with a "Mar" name. My dad's middle name is Martin. She (Grandma--to keep things clear, "she" in this section is Grandma) said that I'm very much like Dad in a huge variety of ways. She also said that although depression and other similar issues run in the family (!!), I'll be the one to "break the cycle." I wonder if that means the fact that I'm the first one to actually seek TREATMENT for these issues rather than having them disappear from our family completely. (Then again, if I don't have more kids, maybe I'm "breaking the cycle" that way, too.)
3) She (I'm switching back to the psyhic now) said that a male figure was with Grandma, one who died from an overdose. She was getting an "ed" name. My uncle's name was Ted, and the exact circumstances around his death are still somewhat unknown (he was found dead at the bottom of a staircase; he had a known problem with alcohol and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if drugs did play a role--I have to ask Dad.) She said that this male figure was very quiet, not really saying anything (unlike Grandma, who came through very vibrantly), but that he wanted me to know he was there. She said that he left a lot of things unsaid in his lifetime and that he was sorry for that. She also said that his was a lifetime of sadness, which fits with what I know about him.
4) I'm very creative, very, very MUCH so, and I need to do more with that. She said that "writing" was going to play a very big role in my life and that Grandma said I needed to do more with that. (Interesting.)
5) She (the psychic) said that I am also incredibly "intuitive"--that word came through a LOT during the reading--and that I have been, even as a child. She said that my hunches and instincts are very correct and very strong. I told her yes, but I usually ignored them because they told me things I didn't want to know. She told me yeah, stop doing that. LOL. Coincidentally, this is also a theme that came through from the first psychic.
6) Teaching is the career path for me, and she sees me staying in that for quite a while. She did see, however, that I may veer off into more of a specialized path and working with a very specialized group of students--she said special ed, but I wonder if she's picking up on the fact that I'm working on my Masters in ELL (English Language Learners). She said I have the "uncanny" ability to make all children feel special and important, which kind of choked me up.
7) If I do veer off the teaching path, it will be to something in the law or law enforcement field. She said something with "the laws"--but then again, that could be tied into my work with ELL students.
8) I brought up LCB in a roundabout way. I said there was someone who was causing "some drama" in my life and should I let this person go. She said no, he's (and she said "he," I didn't) there for a reason, and he will continue to be a part of my life--although not in a "love" kind of way. Then she said--are you sitting down?-- that I was actually HIS MOTHER in a former life (LOLOLOLOLOLOL), which is why we have this unspoken bond, the reason why he feels comfortable around me and can confide in me, the reason I feel so attached to him and the reason that it brings me so much joy to take care of and nuture him (all of which is true). She also said that he has money issues--that is, it's very important to him and he's very driven by it, which is also true.
Those are the big things--like I said, there's so much more. She said healthwise, the biggest thing she was picking up on for me was a "bone issue"--that it's not a "major" problem yet, although it may be giving some problems already, but that it will become one if I don't start getting some calcium.
Oh wait, one more thing:
(I forgot what number I'm one): although I've lived MANY past lives (500+), she said that one past life particularly resonates with me; my life as "Julius," in which I accomplished so much more than many people thought I'd be able to, and that I surprised a lot of people. She said to watch for that theme in this current life.
Oh yeah--and that I was very strong, very intelligent, but that I had self esteem issues and didn't fully realize everything I was capable of. She said that in preparing for my future, I need to develop more respect for myself and to see myself as others see me. This is also another theme that came through on my previous reading. (Once I'm done here, I'm going to find that post and link back to it, so you can feel free to reread it and draw comparisons, as well.)
All in all, a very positive experience.
As the culmination of my birthday celebrations, I went to a psychic today. It was, overall, a very positive experience. Unlike last time, I didn't receive any kind of recording of the reading, so I'm relying on my memory. I know there are already things that I've forgotten, but here are some major themes and specific messages that came through:
1) Let's get right to the good stuff: I'm getting married--and in about 2 years!!! Whoo hoo!! That also jibes with what the first psychic said, who predicted that I'd be married in my "mid 30s" (and in 2 years I'll be 34). I haven't met him yet (more on that later), but he's a very "laid back, easy going guy". While not rich, he is definitely "comfortable." He will probably already have a child or two, but she thinks I'll have at least one more (while the child vibe doesn't come through as clearly for me as it does for others--which is what the first psychic said, too--this one does feel that there's at least "one energy" who wants to come into the world. She said that online dating may very well be the way I meet him, although she was also feeling a "Home Depot" connection. LOLOL. Yeah, cuz I do so much in the home improvement arena. I'll tell you one thing, though--forget Shoeless Joe's. HI is totally my new hangout spot.
2) As soon as I came in, she said that a female energy came in with me, one who passed from heart problems. This would be Grandma. And it's funny, because in my first reading, no one came through--but at the time, no one close to me had passed away. So it's interesting that this time, she picked up on one right away. She talked a little bit about Grandma; I won't bore you with the details but most of it seemed to fit, although there are some things I want to ask Dad about. Speaking of Dad, Grandma kept talking about someone with a "Mar" name. My dad's middle name is Martin. She (Grandma--to keep things clear, "she" in this section is Grandma) said that I'm very much like Dad in a huge variety of ways. She also said that although depression and other similar issues run in the family (!!), I'll be the one to "break the cycle." I wonder if that means the fact that I'm the first one to actually seek TREATMENT for these issues rather than having them disappear from our family completely. (Then again, if I don't have more kids, maybe I'm "breaking the cycle" that way, too.)
3) She (I'm switching back to the psyhic now) said that a male figure was with Grandma, one who died from an overdose. She was getting an "ed" name. My uncle's name was Ted, and the exact circumstances around his death are still somewhat unknown (he was found dead at the bottom of a staircase; he had a known problem with alcohol and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if drugs did play a role--I have to ask Dad.) She said that this male figure was very quiet, not really saying anything (unlike Grandma, who came through very vibrantly), but that he wanted me to know he was there. She said that he left a lot of things unsaid in his lifetime and that he was sorry for that. She also said that his was a lifetime of sadness, which fits with what I know about him.
4) I'm very creative, very, very MUCH so, and I need to do more with that. She said that "writing" was going to play a very big role in my life and that Grandma said I needed to do more with that. (Interesting.)
5) She (the psychic) said that I am also incredibly "intuitive"--that word came through a LOT during the reading--and that I have been, even as a child. She said that my hunches and instincts are very correct and very strong. I told her yes, but I usually ignored them because they told me things I didn't want to know. She told me yeah, stop doing that. LOL. Coincidentally, this is also a theme that came through from the first psychic.
6) Teaching is the career path for me, and she sees me staying in that for quite a while. She did see, however, that I may veer off into more of a specialized path and working with a very specialized group of students--she said special ed, but I wonder if she's picking up on the fact that I'm working on my Masters in ELL (English Language Learners). She said I have the "uncanny" ability to make all children feel special and important, which kind of choked me up.
7) If I do veer off the teaching path, it will be to something in the law or law enforcement field. She said something with "the laws"--but then again, that could be tied into my work with ELL students.
8) I brought up LCB in a roundabout way. I said there was someone who was causing "some drama" in my life and should I let this person go. She said no, he's (and she said "he," I didn't) there for a reason, and he will continue to be a part of my life--although not in a "love" kind of way. Then she said--are you sitting down?-- that I was actually HIS MOTHER in a former life (LOLOLOLOLOLOL), which is why we have this unspoken bond, the reason why he feels comfortable around me and can confide in me, the reason I feel so attached to him and the reason that it brings me so much joy to take care of and nuture him (all of which is true). She also said that he has money issues--that is, it's very important to him and he's very driven by it, which is also true.
Those are the big things--like I said, there's so much more. She said healthwise, the biggest thing she was picking up on for me was a "bone issue"--that it's not a "major" problem yet, although it may be giving some problems already, but that it will become one if I don't start getting some calcium.
Oh wait, one more thing:
(I forgot what number I'm one): although I've lived MANY past lives (500+), she said that one past life particularly resonates with me; my life as "Julius," in which I accomplished so much more than many people thought I'd be able to, and that I surprised a lot of people. She said to watch for that theme in this current life.
Oh yeah--and that I was very strong, very intelligent, but that I had self esteem issues and didn't fully realize everything I was capable of. She said that in preparing for my future, I need to develop more respect for myself and to see myself as others see me. This is also another theme that came through on my previous reading. (Once I'm done here, I'm going to find that post and link back to it, so you can feel free to reread it and draw comparisons, as well.)
All in all, a very positive experience.
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