I'm in love!

This was the best Easter EVER.

I had two dates this weekend. The first one, on Saturday night, was with a great guy--29, lives in GR, works in marketing. This one has potentional, I thought, so I even had Missy do my hair beforehand, just so I'd make the best possible impression. We went bowling, ate, watched a movie at his place....We have so much in common, he makes me laugh, and he's a genuinely NICE guy.

As it turns out, though, this isn't the guy who ended up ROCKING MY WORLD.

There was this other guy I've been talking to on Match.com. His name is Greg, he's 29 and he lives here in Holland. He works on some dock somewhere. We've been talking a LOT the last few week or so, both online and on the phone. We were on the phone for 2 hours on Friday night. "We're gonna be inseperable, aren't we?" he asked. I really didn't think much more about it, though, than "Hey, this could be a really good friend." I mean, at the time, I was too focused on the date with the other guy, the one with "real potential." Greg was just this crazy, funny guy who made me laugh (and, occasionally, drove me nuts; he's a bigger smartass than *I* am, even).

But before and after (and, truth be told, even a few times during my date with the OTHER guy, I kept thinking about Greg. He called me on Sunday to say happy Easter, and we decided to just meet up for an hour or two (or "get it over with," as I put it). And, just like that, I went. No prepping (my first attempt with the straight iron had been earlier that day; it looked OKAY, but not nearly as good as when Missy had done it the night before for what I thought was my "real" date), no stressing--I just freshened up, changed out of my "eating sweats" and went.

And, at the risk of sounding dramatic, I do believe it changed my life.

Now mind you, it's not just me. ;) (Shut up, it's not.) Before we met up, we had jokingly talked about eloping--but I swear to God, if we had had more money, I'd probably be in Vegas right now (the subject did come up last night).

He's....he's...GOD, YOU GUYS. HE IS SO INCREDIBLY WONDERFUL. He's a smartass and he talks a great deal of shit, but he's also got this sweet, sensitive, caring side. Like me, he uses his smart-assed-ness as a shield, sort of, to keep people at a distance. (And we can already call each other out on that.) But when the "other" him comes out, it just...blows me AWAY. He's probably one of the most loving men (hahhahahha....the first time I typed that, I actually wrote "loving mans") I've ever known. A lot of that comes out when he's talking about his daughter, who is just under a year and a half and the absolute center of his world. This man is SUCH a devoted and loving father, and I think that's what I admire the most about him.

Plus, he's not bad to look at AT ALL.

When we first met in person, I thought, Holy hell, this guy is WAY too cute for me. Seriously, that was my very first thought. I mean, I'm not the Elephant Man or anything, but let's face it, I draw more people in with my sense of humor than my stunning good looks. So as soon as we both stepped out of our cars (and instantly starting bullshitting with each other), I thought, "Oh yeah, this one is becoming just a friend"--not because I didn't want more, but because I thought, "No WAY is this going to happen. He's too hot."

At one point, we stopped by his parents' house because he needed to pick something up (they're in FL right now), and he kissed me in their kitchen. Later in the evening, we were talking in his truck while he was dropping me back off at my car, and he said, "Wow. I think I had my last first kiss in my parents' kitchen." At first I thought he meant that, before me, his last first kiss had been there, too. But then I realized that he meant his last first kiss....EVER.

The funniest thing, Kishelle, is that his last time is T***. Yes, they're related. He's Doug's second cousin or something like that (I think their dads are brothers). And Renee, he went to our junior high, but he was a year ahead of us. (He went to HHS, too, but neither one of US really did. Still, you might know him.) If, IF this is it, I walked right by The One back in like 1991 on a daily basis. Yet, it took me THIS LONG to find him?! (Neither one of us remembers the other one from school, though. He said he was going to try to dig up his old yearbook at his parents' house to find me; I begged him in the name of all that is holy not to. After all, junior high was not my most flattering time, LOL.)

HE REMINDS ME OF CHRISTOPHER TITUS, if any of you know who that is (actor/ comedian); both in how he looks and how he acts.

Now, I KNOW that you've all heard me say "I'm gonna marry this guy!" before, and I've even thought that I meant it once or twice. But never have I come home from a first date and felt...like THIS. (And I can't put into words what "THIS" is...terrified and yet perfectly calm at the same time.)

I'm either getting married or headed for a spectacular heartbreak.

I'm an asshole.

At least, that's what one of my students informed me today.

A. (he's in 1st or 2nd grade) was in a timeout on the wall at recess today and he called another student a "stupid head." When one of the other teachers overheard him, she reminded him that we don't call people stupid heads. As she was walking away, he muttered, "Whatever, asshole."

My head snapped up (I was in hearing range). "WHAT did you say?" I demanded, sure that I must have heard incorrectly.

"I said 'asshole,' " he repeated.

Now at that age, kids often use swear words without really knowing what they mean; they're just repeating what they hear at home, in movies, etc. So the first time a child uses a bad word, we first have a little talk with them to see if they even know what they're saying.

"A., do you know what that word even means?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied, "and you guys are all assholes."

"A.," I said firmly, "that is a word we don't EVER use at school, do you understand?" (Yes, he shouldn't use it at all, since he's SEVEN and all, but I'm only responsible for him at school.)

I then calmly turned, walked away and (once I was out of sight) started laughing to myself. I mean, he was so matter-of-fact in the way he simply stated his opinion of us. (The other teachers were biting their lips, too. Is it bad that we were laughing or are you all seeing the humor in this, as well?)

Later on, I was going inside to grab an incident report and the other teacher in question asked me to grab her one, as well.

"Whatever, asshole," I answered under my breath as I walked by. She was still laughing when I came back outside.

Swayed over to the dark side

Well I've fought it for a couple of years, but I was finally sucked into the dark underworld that is MySpace. I hear it can become quite addicting. At first I resisted simply because it was "the cool thing to do" and "everyone else was doing it," but now enough of my friends are on there that I figured, what the hell.

Anyway, if any of YOU are on there and want to add me, come find me at myspace.com/jlkrzys (yeah, I'm not very original).

You Are a Relationship Doormat!

Surprise, you ruin relationships. Bet you didn't see that one coming :-) While you're a nice, understanding, and caring girlfriend - you don't put your needs first.And deep down, it's probably because you worry about getting dumped.So speak up for yourself, weed out the losers sooner, and you'll find a guy that *deserves* you.

http://ynr.blogthings.com/doyouruinrelationshipsquiz/

What the hell is a tender roni?

I first heard it in a Bobby Brown song, of course, but then on my way home from work tonight, I realized that Michael Jackson uses the phrase in "P.Y.T" too (I know, I'm only about 20 years slow with that epiphany).

So since I'm old and desperately uncool, what the hell IS a "tender roni"? Am I one?

Nitrous Frickin’ Oxide

(Yeah Baby! At long last, I make my post about the lovely gas at the dentist’s office.)

I’ve had a long-standing fear of dentists. My latest dentist resolves this problem by giving free doses of nitrous oxide, God bless her heart. I’d never had it until I went to her but now I get it whenever I need anything remotely scary done.

Whenever I’m given the gas, I think “Man, this is the best idea EVER! I’ve gotta post about this amazing experience!” I create entire posts about the wonders of nitrous oxide in my head and laugh to myself at how utterly witty I am. But when I come off of my happy high, I don’t seem to be able to remember anything about it (huh, what a shocker).

Last night as I received two fillings, I decided that this time I was gonna do it! I really was gonna post, by golly! I made a real attempt to remember all the amazing things I’d post about. This is what I remember:

1) My dentist has pretty eyes
2) Fly crawling on the ceiling
3) I wonder why I don’t get high anymore for fun, just when I come to the dentist
4) I wonder how they keep from laughing at me when I have all this funny-looking stuff stuck in my mouth

Field trip

Today (meaning Wednesday), I had my first work-related field trip. I'm the one who actually had to organize it, plan it, etc, so I started relatively small: the Holland Museum. It actually went pretty well (they didn't just do boring "museum stuff": they had an I-spy scavenger hunt, and the kids got to decorate wooden nickels, play dress-up with old clothes and EAT WINDMILL COOKIES).

For the most part, the kids (who, I must say, behaved pretty well; of course, Mr. Brian and I threatened them with everything under the sun if they DIDN'T act right) seemed to enjoy it, except for one of the older boys who complained that there was "too much informational talking and stuff." On the bus ride back, I asked what their favorite part of the trip was. In order, here are the results:

1) The cookies
2) The elevator ride from the main floor to the basement
3) The free balloon each student received

Even so, I'm still considering the day a success, as I returned back to work with the same amount of children I left with and my kids didn't do anything to get us permanently banned from the Museum.

Emotionally trying day

NOT ONLY did Eminem file for divorce from Kim (AGAIN, after being married for less than 3 months) this morning, but Mandisa was voted off American Idol tonight!! (Seriously, I almost fell off the treadmill. BUCKY outlasting MANDISA?? That boy must have shamrocks for testicles, because he's one lucky bastard.)

Forgive me, Lord...

...for I have sinned.

I actually bought BRITNEY SPEARS skates.

In my defense:

a) they look pretty sharp (see photo for exhibit A)
b) they're way cheaper than other "quads"
c) they're Skechers, so at least they're SOMEWHAT cool and, most importantly,
d) I'm going through a breakup and am NOT THINKING CLEARLY, dammit.

And, like the ad says, "Catch their eyes while cruising around in Britney Spears' signature roller skate, exclusively by Skechers! ...Like Britney, these Skechers' skates are hot, stylish, and fun!"

HA. So don't be hatin' while I'm crusing around with my hot, stylish and fun ass.

Son of a...

As some of you have already heard, Tyson sucks.

Just when I thought things were going pretty darn well, I get an email informing me that, in fact, they were not. He said....oh, let me see how he put it...."I'm a big f*cker with my head up my ass."

Oh, wait, no, those were MY words.

What he ACTUALLY said was that he was feeling "that things are unbalanced and that we're on different pages", that he's "not moving forward in this relationship like [I] seem to be" and that "at this point right now [he's] not feeling that things are moving in a good direction." Those are the high points.

Again, I thought that things were going well; we have fun together, we have a good friendship, we have GREAT chemistry and we're very comfortable together. Or maybe not.

He said he was going to call me tonight to talk about it, but that was before I sent HIM an email saying that it seemed like he'd already said everything there was to say. It's already 8 pm and I haven't heard from him, so we'll see.

Seriously, I give up.

Skating

I went skating last night (with my mom. On a Saturday night. Shut up) and I have to say, I'm really getting hooked on it again. I found a nice pair of skates on eBay for like $50 (that includes shipping)--now mind you, I'm not talking about roller blades/ inline skating, I'm talking about the old-school quad skates ("quad skates" is the cool term for "skates with four wheels"). I'm really excited about it and I want to get really good at skating: my ultimate goal is to be able to be like the Cool Kids who can skate by crossing one foot in front of the other.

I know some of you are probably laughing at me right now, and I'm going to give you a chance to sound off. I'm going to let you vote--take bets, if you will--on how this whole skating thing is going to pan out. Here are your options; please cast your vote in the comments section.

How long is this skating thing going to last?

1) Please. Those skates will never make it out of the box.
2) It's all fun and games until someone breaks a bone (which, knowing her, will be within the first week).
3) Actually, considering the fact that she's been trying to get into shape for the last year, she might actually stick with this one.

Finally

I've found a girl who's even clingier than me.

C., one of my after-school kids, has a crush on J. C. literally attaches herself to J. by wrapping her arms around his waist and not letting go. Have you ever tried to play basketball with your boys with a smitten girl hanging on you? J. has (and he's still pretty damn good, actually. I think the boy's got a future in the NBA).