Sunday, May 03, 2009

A deep chick flick

I watched Bride Wars this weekend. It was actually a good movie--funny and light-hearted, a classic chick flick. It was exactly the kind of movie that women love and men would have to be dragged to.

And then, at the end, came this voice-over:

"Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding, but there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself, is the same person who's been standing beside you all along. "

And that made me stop and think. My dating life has been the subject of countless posts, emails, phone calls, and girl get-togethers. I often wonder if I'll ever find "the one," if I'll find the kind of love and relationship that seems to come so easily to others. As a child, I never thought that I would be 32 and still single. And, although women are settling down and starting families later now than at any point in history, it's also a biological fact that if I don't have kids in the next few years, it may not happen for me at all. (And my emotions keep going back and forth on this issue: sometimes my biological clock ticks like a time bomb, and sometimes I truly feel that I'd be okay if I never had another a child of my own, that maybe my path will include either adopting or becoming a stepmother.) Still, it's no secret that I do, at the very least, want to get married--someday. And, as I see former classmates getting divorced and beginning SECOND marriages, I'm beginning to view my never-married status as a source of pride--that I'm learning invaluable lessons along the way, that I'm refusing to settle, that I'm not rushing into anything, and that all of this will help to make sure that when I DO take that final step, it will last.

And then I watched Bride Wars, and that voice-over made me stop in my tracks. The idea that my "soul mate" may not be a romantic partner but rather a friend kind of blew me away. That's not to say that I'd be okay never getting married--far from it. Even if the kids thing never happens for me, I truly hope that marriage is in the cards somewhere down the line. But maybe, when it comes down to it, I'm searching for something that I already have. Renee's been around since first grade, and the rest of the Girl Tribunal has been around since high school (Kish) and my mid-20s (Anna). And then there's Nik and Missy, who came into my life through the marriage of our parents but have been my sisters in every way that matters. They all know me inside and out, they love me unconditionally, they give me a kick in the ass when I need it (and let's face it, that's pretty often) and they are always, ALWAYS there for me. They've never let me down. They've seen me grow and change over the years and have been my biggest supports throughout every one. Even when I make mistakes (some of them over and over again), they still have my back. What guy will EVER be able to compete with that? Even if I meet the perfect man tomorrow (and trust me, I'll still be out there looking, LOL), he won't know the me of yesterday--only the me of today and tomorrow.

Needless to say, I highly recommend this movie. It will make you want to tell all of your friends how much they mean to you...which is why I'm writing this post. I love you all.

And if I'm still single and childless when I'm 50, I'm coming to live with one of y'all.


Renee said...

LOL. And *sniff, sniff*. I'm barely awake and I'm crying already :-) I love you, too, babe.

Renee said...

And I like how ironic it is that you talk about Nik and Mis but not your biological sis :-) I hope you guys can be friends some day. Maybe when you're 50 and living with me :-)

Jen said...

LOL. Katey and I get along fine, and we're friends in our own little way. We just don't talk as much, that's all.

Jen said...

And yes, you were my first choice to crash with when I'm an old spinster.

1) You're a kick ass cook.
2) It would be easier for john and I to carry on our little fling: please tell him that this long distance stuff is getting old.
3) You dont have pets.
4) You're a kick ass cook, especially the Chex mix

Nik said...

Awww, Jen, ya got me all emotional and what not, you bitch! You know I love ya and since I'm gonna be single and no kids, it only seems right that we live together and share in our spinsterhood. It's not often that we have heart-to-heart sentimental moments, but it's cool to know that ya mean more than ya thought ya did to someone. Effin heart you!

Nee, I think the dynamic is waaay different with me and Missy, than it is with Katey. We don't judge Jen or fight with her abotu her life. We just listen and accept her flaws and all. Jen and Katey no doubt love and care for each other, just in a different way.

Nik said...

LMAO Just read your pros list for moving in with Renee and aside from the flirting w/ hubby, you're onto something. Maybe she should take us both in and we can turn her place into spinsterville, USA!

Renee said...

LMAO you guys :-)

Yeah, Nik, I totally know what you mean about the Jen/Katey dynamic vs. the Jen/Nik/Mis dynamic. My sister and I get along really well now, but there's still that sister thing there. Unlike you and Missy. I don't know how you guys do it :-)

I'll take both you bitches in! We can be like the Golden Girls. Plus a Golden Guy. Jen, you're Blanche. LOL.

Jen said...

I don't think there was ever any doubt that Jen=Blanche.

Except, really, I'm a lot like Rose, too. I'm a trampy airhead.

Nik can be Dorothy. LOLOL

(RIP Bea Arthur!)

Jen said...

And Nik, shut up with that "it's nice to know you mean more to someone than you thought you did" shit. You know I love you guys, you whore.

Renee said...

LOL. I was thinking that I was a bit Dororthy-like. More so than any of the others. With a little Blanche thrown in. But not as much as you :-)