Slight update/clarification

I'm leaving my original post in its entirety (see below), because it really does communicate the hurt and anger that I feel towards C-Boy. I do want to say, though ('cuz I know some of you were wondering)--no, nothing dramatic or even NEW happened. It's just more of the same, really--claiming to care yet always putting me last and basically making me feel like I was the only one in that friendship/relationship/what-have-you. For months--hell, the whole time I knew him, really--I wanted and hoped to become as important to him as he was to me, and that he'd become the friend to me that I truly tried to be to him. But I was, from day one, fighting a losing battle. And instead of getting my heart--and feelings--hurt over and over and over, it was time to give up.

It was, quite simply, a one-sided situation--and I was tired of always being put last, of him making plans with me ONLY when nothing better came along or his original plans fell through, of him wanting me around when it was convenient for HIM. He was just such an incredibly important person in MY life, and it took me a loooonnnnngggggg time to open my eyes and see that that sentiment was never returned on his end.

Bottom line: a true friend, let alone "boyfriend," would not always make you feel like crap. Yeah, I know: obvious to YOU guys, LOL, but again, it sometimes takes a little longer for me to "get" things. ;) When we hung out, we always had a great time--but it was always when HE wanted to, on HIS terms, and usually at the last minute (because, as I now see, he always wanted to keep his options open). It really started to hurt that he would never commit to something ahead of time--I was never important enough for him to make actual plans with, say, for the next weekend. I was never one of those people that he knew, no matter what, he wanted to see this weekend (for example)--he'd make plans with the people he truly cared about, plan the things that really mattered, and then fit me into whatever time was left--and if there WASN'T time left, then oh well. He could take me or leave me, basically. (That last part really cuts to the core of the issue.) And that may not SEEM like a big deal--unless you just so happened to be in love with that person. In that case, it really sucked.

Anyway. There's some clarification. And now, please see below for my original Alanis-esque rant. ;)