Thursday, September 10, 2009

Speechless (but not type-less)

So I received an email from Brad today. At first I thought that he had returned to the old place and discovered that I had "taken" some items, but oh no. He still has no clue. He ALSO clearly has no clue that the power was disconnected due to nonpayment, as he asked when I was sending a check for the dressers and bookcase I was going to buy, plus the last $75 or so for the rest of the utilities for the month.

YES, MY FRIENDS, HE WAS ASKING FOR ****MORE**** MONEY.

Talk about crazy. I paced the apartment with my hands clenched at my sides, ready to literally punch someone, for half an hour. I also felt the "crazy eyes" (they're hard to explain, but they get really big and wild and almost glazed) coming on. I was LIVID. It took me almost two hours, with assistance from April and feedback from Mom, but I was finally able to craft a MORE-than-civil email to him.

Here's what it said. Tell me what you think:

"Hello Brad:

I tried to get a hold of you a couple of weeks ago, but as you mentioned, your phone was turned off.

A week before I moved, I came home and discovered that our (my) power had been disconnected. I was obviously surprised, since I had been giving you enough for the utilities and then some. The amount to get the power turned back on was $300--this was not the full amount due, mind you, just the amount to get it reconnected. If that amount wasn't paid within a few days, the TOTAL amount would have to be paid (this full amount was quite a bit, I believe close to $500?)

Anyway, I had to leave to stay with a friend for that last week, and then I had to pack (and move) with no lights and no air conditioning, which as you can imagine, sucked. Since you didn't pay the electric bill with the money I gave you expressly for that purpose, I figured that that was instead meant to go towards the dressers and book case. That accounted for $100 of the past-due $300. I also took the love seat that I had expressed interest in, for which I paid you $200 (to equal the $300 that did not go to the electric company). I feel that this is more than generous, as you/we owed MORE than $300 to FPL alone, per the statement that was tacked onto the front door.

Let me know if you have any questions. Im sorry to end things on rather negative terms, since I really did enjoy living with you the past couple of years. But frankly, I feel a little betrayed that the money I was giving to you specifically for utilities was obviously not being put to that use.

Thank you.

Jen"

5 comments:

Renee said...

Woooo Hoooooo!!! Good for you. That fucker has ME seeing red; I can only imagine your transformation into the Incredible Hulk-Jen yesterday :-) LOL.

I think your email is great. And now I'm excited to see how he responds!

Jen said...

That's what I THOUGHT. His response:

"You're right. I'm sorry. I sincerely apologize.

My checking account was frozen and I couldn't figure out how to pay the bill or even cash the checks you had given me. As soon as I defaulted, FPL tacked on a $200 fee.

I hope it's ok now. I'm sorry."

The funny thing is that I was totally bluffing when I said I thought the total amount due was close to $500. I was RIGHT....and I doubt it was due to any $200 "fee." Bastard.

I should have taken that other floor rug.

Renee said...

Hahahahahaha! Douche bag.

Renee said...

Brad, not you :-)

anna said...

He is SUCH a moron!
Great letter!
I'm glad it all worked out and that you got such nice stuff out of the deal. Your new place & new roommate are WAY better!