Still not smoking....more or less

It's been 2 weeks since I quit smoking.

In that time, I've had two smoking days (about a week ago,when Dave and I went through our mini-crisis). Once things stabled back out, though, I went right back on the wagon. See, in the old days, I would have used that slip as an excuse to go right back to smoking full-time again (LOL, like it's my job or something....but you know what I mean). But this time, I really do want to quit, so I'm not going to quit quitting. I know I'm going to slip up--quitting is HARD and although I'm strong, sometimes I'm not strong enough.

The hardest things for me, for the rest of my life probably, will be 1) drinking and 2) breakups (though hopefully there won't be too many more of those in my future!). Those two situations always seem to be the ones to completely kill my smoke-free intentions. I, of course, have avoided drinking over the last couple of weeks (not counting wine at Dave's but that doesn't count--I'm talking about bar/social situations), but I have two events coming up that will be tough. Mike's birthday is tomorrow and we're going to Coin Night at Ricochet tomorrow night, so that will be obstacle #1. I'm pretty confident about it, though, because most of the other teachers who will be there are nonsmokers--and while there will be smokers THERE, I'm still feeling pretty good about it. On Saturday, though, Dave and I are going to a friend's of his for a poker/pool party--and it may be harder to resist, as this is an all day (and night) thing. I can be strong for a couple hours--but after, like, 10 hours of drinking? Not so much.

Still, if I do cave and have a cigarette--or even a few--I'm not going to be too hard on myself. Hell, by then it will be almost 3 weeks. I'm going to look at all the days I HAVEN'T smoked in that time, all the puff's I didn't inhale, all the packs I didn't buy--and all the money I saved. It's kind of like being an alcoholic--at least for me. I will always struggle with not smoking. But it's a struggle that isn't going to end this time. I want to be a nonsmoker--and if I can make that claim even 19 days out of 21, I'm still doing pretty damn good.

Heads up

We're having a problem with the Internet connection at my new place, so until we figure out what's wrong with it (or break down and decide to actually sign up for it, since we've been piggybacking off of a neighbor's wireless connection...sshhhhh), I'll only be online when I'm at Dave's or when I drive to the library (which very well may be every day--let's face it, I don't have a whole lot else going on). Just a heads up, though, so you can try not to send me 20 emails a day (Mother). I only have an hour at a time at the library, after all.

I'll let you know when things are back to normal. Oh, and speaking of which--

MY MRI WAS NORMAL!!!! Those mysterious spots are gone!!!! Whoo hooo!!!! I asked the neuro, "So...that's it? No more follow ups or anything?" and he said no, I was officially given the all-clear.

PLUS my dolphin-painted tshirt came yesterday. Happy times, my friends.

How many do YOU know?

Last post tonight but I just saw this on Yahoo and I do believe it warrants a discussion. An article called the "Songs of Summer 2007" listed the most-popular lyric searches right now. There are 20 songs on the list.

I know 4 of them.*

FOUR.

Damn, I'm old.

1. Umbrella Lyrics
Big Girls Don't Cry Lyrics
Way Back Into Love Lyrics
Party Like a Rockstar Lyrics
5. Hey There Delilah Lyrics
Makes Me Wonder Lyrics
Wipe Me Down Lyrics
Lean Like a Cholo Lyrics
4 in the Morning Lyrics
10. Rehab Lyrics
Never Again Lyrics
Summer Love Lyrics
Lip Gloss Lyrics
Shawty Lyrics
15. Wait For You Lyrics
Make Me Better Lyrics
What I've Done Lyrics
Don't Matter Lyrics
Before He Cheats Lyrics
Pop Lock and Drop It Lyrics

*I know songs 1, 18 19 and 20. I'm sure I've heard more on the radio and just don't know their names, etc, but these are the 4 that I can immediately hear in my head.

My other addiction

Bath and Body works, aka My Happy Place, is having their semi-annual sale. And it's taking every ounce of strength I have to stay away.

I don't NEED anything else from there. I have an entire BOX full of lotions, body washes, body sprays, soaps and miscellaneous other BBW products (most of which were accumulated at previous sales). But right now, for example, you can get SIX body care products for $20. SIX!!!!!!!!!!! Usually they're anywhere from $9-14 each, if I remember correctly. YOU CAN SAVE UP TO $56!!!!! IT'S SUCH A GOOD DEAL THAT IT'S PHYSICALLY CAUSING ME PAIN *NOT* TO GO!!!!

I did actually go last week, but only because I needed a new "shower pouf" and I got one of those AND a thing of massage oil for $5. Hell yeah. I saved a good $10 on that one, too. But at least that was something I legitimately needed.

I'm serious. I don't know if I'm strong enough to turn this sale down. Although it'll probably come around again in December at the NEXT sale....and I'll STILL be working my way through my box o' lotions.

Update

I know you've all been on the edge of your seats, but it looks like things may work out, after all.*

I'm back on the Quit Wagon (one hour and counting--whoot!).

Okay, you guys are allowed to talk again. =-)

*Hey...I promised y'all that this blog would never be boring--and 3 years later, I'm still keeping that promise! ;) (Although it was even MORE exciting when certain sisters and friends in MN actually POSTED, byatches.)

We're done....but don't ask me why

So we broke up last night. Yeah, out of the blue for me too. Sure, we had been kind of fighting this week but that was just because of me quitting....and it wasn't even that bad. I mean, we had a fight on Thursday but we were okay the next day....and I went over there last night, we had a GREAT night, deliriously in love as usual (I thought)...and then the shit hit the fan. I sent an email out to the usual group but...yeah. He won't even talk to me now so it doesn't look good. I still haven't been to bed, I'm beyond miserable.

I'm turning comments off for this one because honestly, there's not much anyone can say to help. I'm hurting pretty bad, I thought I found someone who truly loved me, my whole life just got turned upside down and I just have to...pick up the pieces and move on, I guess.

Needless to say, Operation Smoke Out has been put on hold. I honestly don't care much about anything right now, but a non-smoking speech would NOT go over well right now (Mother).

Be well, I'll talk to you all later.

Did I mention?

I quit smoking almost a week ago--today is day 6. It's been a bitch; I'm not using anything, I just decided last weekend--you know what? This is STUPID. I stink, I've been smoking for like 14 years, my asthma's getting worse again, I'm starting to look OLD--if I stop now, I still have a chance to undo some of the physical damage AND get my health back again. So I quit. It's been HORRIBLE and miserable but this time, I'm doing it for me. I did slip up last night when Dave and I had a fight, but I only had 2 before I gave the pack to Brad....holy CRAP, did they taste and smell like shit. So who knows. It's too soon to tell, of course, but maybe this is actually it. Wish me luck.

Vegas pics part two

Here are some random picture of the Strip. They aren't THAT good (except for the one of Excaliber, which came out awesome), but let's face it--ANY pic of the Strip lit up at night is going to be a good one, even the blurry ones.

(And, like any post with multiple pictures, there are some spacing issues in these 2 posts, but this is about as good as it's going to get.)

Vegas pics part one

Here are some pics of Dave and I when we went to fancy dinner at Gallagher's (in New York, NY - Las Vegas).

And here's one at a photo booth earlier in the day.

I won a dolphin-painted Tshirt!!!!

At the Dolphin Research Center, one of the dolphin-interaction programs you can sign up for is Paint with a Dolphin. It's an extra $55 in addition to regular admission so I never actually registered for it--and anyway, when I'm there with the dolphins, that's usually plenty to just sent me over the moon with delirious happiness! However, every time we leave (LOL "every time"--we've only been there twice so far), Dave and I both fill out guest feedback cards--after all, the prize is your very own dolphin-painted Tshirt. Well, I received a call from the DRC--my entry was chosen this month. I AM SO EXCITED!!! I have to call them back with my 2 color choices and a dolphin is going to paint ME a tshirt!!!!

I'll make sure to post a picture when it gets here! (And I'll probably frame the shirt instead of wear it.)

Do you know me at ALL?

I spent the night at Dave's house last night. I'll be hanging out here today till he gets home from work (he gets out early on Fridays, usually noon or so). As I was kissing him goodbye at the door this morning, he says, "If you go back to bed, don't forget to set the alarm."

He leaves at 5:30 in the morning.

There's no "if" about it, my friend.

Is there a doctor in the house?

I have this lump/bump thing on my left thigh. It's under the skin--like, the skin on my thigh is flat and smooth, but when you press on this spot, you can feel a hard mass underneath. It's not big--it's pretty tiny actually--but it's been there for a few months now. It's not in the groin area at all; it's on the front side of my thigh about halfway up from my knee. i didn't really worry at first because I've never heard of anyone getting thigh cancer and I figured it might just be a swollen lymph node or something (do you even HAVE lymph nodes in your thigh?), but since it's still there I'm becoming mildly curious. Is this something I should have checked out?

(Note: about 20 seconds after reading this, Mom will be Googling "thigh cancer.")

I'm married!!!!

I'm just messin' with ya...we didn't really elope. We DID have a great time in Vegas, though.

Where did I leave off? I believe it was Wednesday some time. We went to the live stage version of The Price is Right, which was just like being at an actual taping but without the Bob Barker and audience members were able to play along at their seats. It was a blast, but neither of us won anything--or even made it to Contestant's Row, dammit. After that, we visited some of the other casinos, rode a roller coaster at the New York casino and just had a blast. (I collected matchbooks from each casino we went to; I still have some in Dave's suitcase but over the course of our visit, we went to MGM Grand--aka our "home casino"; Bally's; Mirage; Harrah's; Flamingo; Caeser's Palace; Paris-Las Vegas and New York, NY-Las Vegas....holy crap. As I type this list, I realize that we did pretty damn good. If you've never been there, there's a monorail that you can take from casino to casino, which makes getting around VERY easy.)

Thursday, we went to the Mirage for Sigfried and Roy's Secret Garden/Dolphin Habitat. I have to say, dolphin-wise, the Dolphin Research Center was actually better, but this place was cool, too. It had an underwater viewing area, so that was something I've never seen before--at the DRC, once they go back underwater, they're out of sight. The Garden had lions, tigers, leopards, etc. It was here that we had the distinction of getting marked/sprayed by a tiger. Pretty gross, eh? Yeah, I know you're jealous.

That evening, we got all duded up and went out to a fancy dinner. We got pictures taken; I'll get them scanned and posted ASAP. I wore a DRESS, even. A black one.

After dinner, we went back to the tables one last time. (I should mention that during any "down time" this week, if we weren't our sightseeing or eating or sleeping, we were probably at the tables.) In the end (of course) we lost, but damn, did we have some more "Vegas moments," including me going "all in" a few times to keep us alive --and even winning and doubling our stacks a few times. He later said that seeing me catch his eye across the table and pushing all my chips into the circle was "sexy as hell," LOL. Doing so bought us some more time, but in the end, we walked away down about $600 (the money we won back that morning). I had hesitated about going, thinking maybe we should quit while we were ahead, but Dave said he had put a certain amount aside for this trip and we were less than 1/3 through it. On the way home, he told me that leaving Vegas "only" down $600 made it a VERY successful trip for him ("I gambled with the same $600 for 5 days without hitting the ATM once! That's a great trip!"), and that all in all, this was the best trip to Vegas he has ever had.

Before going back to our room, we went down to the Strip and took in the absolutely breathtaking view of it lit of at night. It's a view I'll never forget. (We took pictures on his digital camera, which I'll also post as soon as he downloads them.)

We got back at almost 1 am due to some flight delays; we walked out of the airport and straight into Tropical Storm Barry. Yeah, welcome home. (Still, as all you Weather Channel enthusiasts know, we DESPERATELY need the rain.)

All things considered (including our midnight-on-Thursday fight about room-service chicken strips), one of the best times of my life.