Monday, February 27, 2006

"Smoke-free" sucks.

I know things have been kind of quiet out of Fort Jen lately. I actually quit smoking about a week ago, so I've been laying kind of low because, frankly, it's been pretty hard. I got sick last week and had to make another emergency asthma visit to the doctor; Mom threw out my cigarettes and I was feeling too crappy to even argue with her. That was last Monday night; and here I am, a week later, still smoke-free (although somewhat more tense and a couple of pounds heavier, LOL).

I'm chewing "the gum"--Nicorette. Going cold turkey doesn't work for me, that's for sure. It's hard, because I'm one of those people where it's not even the NICOTINE that's addictive to me. It's the sheer HABIT of it that I have a hard time breaking. Smoking becomes a ritual. First thing in the morning. In the car. After dinner. Certain times of the day, certain events, just trigger this...internal reaction that's really, really hard to overcome. I think that's why nicotine-replacement treatments haven't really worked for me in the past--because it's truly not the nicotine I'm craving (by now, it's out of my system; I'm totally "detoxed"); it's the ritual of it, the routine. Still, the gum can't hurt. (And yes, I've tried a million other things, too--chewing straws, carrot sticks, etc. If you have any other suggestions, though, please let me know.)

I did treat myself to some new jeans at Penney's this past weekend, once I realized that I can actually fit into Juniors jeans again. I figured that the money I saved in a week of not smoking could be put towards some jeans that, quite frankly, make my ass look FABULOUS. And that makes it a little easier to continue with my smoke-free days--knowing that my "cigarette money" has already been spent on something else. (Sure, for some people, the satisfaction of knowing that they're making a healthy decision for themselves and their families, that they're adding years to their lives, renewing their skin, improving their smile, and are no longer smelling like an ash tray--that may be reward enough. Whatever. For me, I need STUFF. I need PRIZES, dammit. And if a weekly "present" to myself gets me through these first few weeks and months, then so be it.) ;)

So that's what's been up on my end.

On a more serious note, I want to give a big shout-out and long-distance hug to our girl Renee, who just lost her grandmother today. I'm thinking of you, and you know I'm here. Hang in there.

19 comments:

LoraLoo said...

Good for you, hope staying smoke-free gets easier and is successful for you! I need to follow suit and quit the damn things, myself.

keesh said...

Very proud of you, keep it up. you can always spend some money on a damn good massage given by Kacey :). You going to be there Sat night?

Anna said...

Way to go, Jen! Keep on keepin' on!Sorry to hear about your hospital trip, but glad to hear you've quit smoking!

I think rewarding yourself is a great idea. If that's what you need to keep going, then do it!

Jen said...

Yeah I'll be there on Sat night, Kish.

Renee said...

I'm proud of you, and I agree with Anna-- if a present is what you need, DO IT!

Have you seen those... I can't even remember what, exactly, they are. But they're a cigarette-looking stick that you can actually inhale. I guess I don't know enough about it to even bring it up :-) But maybe you could check with a pharmacist or something. I'm pretty sure they're sold OTC.

Brent is proud of you, too :-)

LocuTus of Borg said...

Congratulations and good job. One week, two weeks, three weeks ... then you won't even think of it anymore. Giving yourself presents for congratulations .. nothing wrong with that ;)

Jen said...

Yeah Renee, I've tried those too. Can't remember what they're called either but you put little nicotine inserts in them...those didn't help really, either. Maybe I'll try them again though. The good thing about the gum is that I can use it WHENEVER I need it, even if I'm teaching or whatever. Not so sure that cigarette-looking thing would fly. =-) Plus, I'm not getting a CONSTANT stream of nicotine, like with the patch, which I think is good for me. I'm only using maybe 3-4 pieces of gum a day so I'm doing okay.

Renee said...

That's good. Did you try Zyban at one time, too? I know John's mom used it like 4 years ago and it worked... until recently when she started again :-)

Jen said...

Yup, did that too. =-)I was actually using it as a "happy pill" though.

Renee said...

LOL. Yeah, when Jane was on it, she commented on how calm and happy she felt :-)

LocuTus of Borg said...

What's wrong with that .. I take like 3 a day >:P haha

Mom/Deb said...

Kish -

Jen says she's gonna smoke on Sat. night but I really wish you guys wouldn't let her.

Mom/Deb said...

I am very proud of you for trying to quit again and I am praying that you can do it this time. I want you to be around for a long, long time to live the great life you have ahead of you.

keesh said...

Deb - you know I can't control that girl. but I will surely encourage her to not do it, especially since she has already said she can't just be a casual smoker...

Jen said...

She's not my keeper, Mother. I'm a big girl now.

keesh said...

and I must say I am very proud of Jen cause she did a fabo job on Saturday. hardly had any at all...good job Jen!! She didn't go out near as much as she has in past visits and she is making an honest effort to just be a social smoker. so let's be proud of her efforts and encourage her to keep up the GREAT WORK!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

way to go on the non smoking...u can do it;)

Jen said...

THANK YOU, Kish.

And everyone else. =-)

LocuTus of Borg said...

Quitting smoking means you quitting blogging too? >:P (just kidding)