Fertility Dance
You may have seen the commercials for those at-home fertility tests ("Did I wait too long to become pregnant?"). Well, I did, too. The first time, I just heard the commercial from the kitchen and marveled at how far technology has come. That will be a good thing to have, I thought, some day in the future.
The second time, I actually SAW it--and realized that the woman in the commercial WAS MY DAMN AGE.
Mind you, I don't even know if I WANT to have any more of my own kids at this point. But I'm single, not dating anyone seriously and staring down the barrel of my 33rd birthday. So yes, I bought one.
I can hardly be blamed.
Anyway, as of right now, I am pleased to announce that I can still get knocked up. (This test doesn't detect all fetility issues, of course; just egg quality/quantity.) It all has to do with the "test line" that may or may not appear in the little window. This test measures your FSH, or follicle (as in egg) stimulating hormone--and basically, if your body has a lot of this hormone, that's actually bad, because your body needs a lot of extra help to produce the eggs and stuff. In a perfect world, the line won't appear at all, because your egg factory is churnin' along perfectly well, merrily releasing eggs left and right, without needing any extra push. However (and this is the category that I fell into), if the line shows up but it's lighter than the control line, you're still okay....for now. (Cue the ominous background music and flip over the hourglass.) It's only when the test line is as dark as or darker than the control line that they recommend you see a doctor, pronto.
I feel a new birthday tradition coming on... ;)
17 comments:
Hahahahahahaha! OMG. First of all, I'm surprised you even QUESTIONED the fertility of your ANYONE in your family, or of anyone who has ever drank the water at that house :-) I guess I shouldn't have said "first of all", since there's not really a second thing, other than that you're frickin hilarious. How much are those, though? It'd be nice to know what my odds are in case my IUD is defective ;-)
$25, but you get 2.
And I'm not happy that the line even appeared at all. I mean, that hormone is already kicking in and was detected. I'm not, like, in trouble yet or anything, but it's still kind of...not scary, really. I dont know. Cuz like I said, I dont know that I'd want to have a baby now anyway. But I'd like the CHOICE. And I still have it...for now. So that's all I can worry about, I guess. For now, I'm good.
And really, I guess I DID expect to hear or see some version of "you're a fertile bitch", but instead all I got was "you're fertile...ish." LOL. Even OUR fertility doesn't last forever. ;)
LOL. Yeah, I know what you mean. Maybe you should start harvesting your eggs ;-)
OMG! You're a Total Nut!
33 is so young! People in New York or California don't even Start Thinking about kids until 35 and then they go on to have them until they're 50. Plenty o' time.
LOL Anna.
Renee: Harvest *this*
LOL
LMFAO :-)
LOL!! OMG!!this is just FUBAR, but I totally want one even though Shawn has been snipped, knowing is classic. you are so cute. you have strep throat and are worried about fertility. Hope you feel better!
LOL. The test really is kind of fun. You have to take it in the am of your third day of your cycle, though. They are quite specific about that.
Wait!!!! You also can't use it if you're on the pill. you're okay, renee, but you might be out of luck, Kish.
LOL. It also says, "this test may not be accurate if you are pregnant at the time of testing." ?!?!?!?!?!? Um, why would someone who is pregnant be taking a test to SEE IF THEY CAN GET PREGNANT?
Jen - I am not on pill...Shawn is snipped snipped....done with that whole birth control mess... :)...
Dude, I don't even know what the third day of my cycle is... what day does the cycle start?
I'm sorry, but I'm still LMAO at this whole post and comments :-)
the first day of your cycle is when you start your period
So you pee on it while you're hemmorhaging? Gross.
This convo is taking a bad turn, but let's just say that I'm a tampax pearl girl. ;)
I'm a tampax pearl girl, too. I guess that would solve the problem.
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