Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sometimes genius comes at 4 am

My eyes popped open in the middle of the night with the beginnings of a damn good poem, if I do say so myself (I'd call it a song but, as you all know, I have no musical talent whatsoever). At first it was just a few random lines that I quickly jotted down, but I was kind of surprised at how quickly they came together once I really sat down and tried (I didn't want to go back to sleep until I was done, in case I lost it). Move over, Alannis Morisette--there's a new Queen of the Bitter Breakup Song in town.

I might adjust the wording and rhythm somewhat, but this is the rough draft. I think it very effectively sums up the course of our relationship, otherwise known as Clusterfuck 2008. And now, I present to you: I Could've Been the One.

You say you want it all
And now you’re running scared
You went and turned your back
On the one who truly cared
‘Cause when I looked you in the eye
And offered you my hand
You turned and walked away
And I just don’t understand

I could’ve been the one
To make your dreams come true
I could’ve been the one
It should be me and you
I could’ve been the one
Deep inside you know it’s true
Baby don’t you see
I could’ve been the one

I was giving you my heart
With the lock and key
But when push came to shove
You decided to be free
You just took my love
And threw it all away
My “could have been” is gone
And I just want to say

I could’ve been the one
To make your dreams come true
I could’ve been the one
It should be me and you
I could’ve been the one
Deep inside you know it’s true
Baby don’t you see
I could’ve been the one

I waited for so long
I tried to make you see
That everything you wanted
You could find it all in me
Now I’m looking for someone
Who can keep it in his pants
It’s my turn to walk away
And you can kiss my ass *

I could’ve been the one
To make your dreams come true
I could’ve been the one
It should be me and you
I could’ve been the one
Deep inside you know it’s true
Baby don’t you see
I could’ve been the one

Sweetheart you messed up
Because I could’ve been the one

*I realize that that last part doesn't strictly rhyme, but it made me laugh so hard when I thought of it that I had to put it in. Besides, you bitches know that I couldn't stay serious through the WHOLE thing; that's just not my style. My alternate ending (which also made me giggle) is:

I waited for so long
I tried to make you see
That everything you wanted
You could find it all in me
Now I’m looking for someone
Who can keep it in his pants
And when I get my black belt
I'm gunnin' for your ass

THESE WORDS AND LYRICS ARE COPYRIGHTED BY ME, 2008. THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T STEAL THEM.

16 comments:

Jen said...

LOL. How quickly one can go from "You can stand under my umbrella" to "you can kiss my ass."

LOLOL.

Damn bipolar disorder.

;)

Renee said...

I love it! Really, I think it could be a song!

LMFAO at your comment, too :-) That's not the bp talking, btw, it's common sense :-)

keesh said...

You are adorable and witty! I Love it!!

Fred said...

Sell the lyrics. It'll make a good C&W song! (Or is it just "country" these days?)

And Jen, check out the notebook picture on my blog. Who knows...a new way for teachers to make money?

Jen said...

Actually Fred, I was thinking more "bitter rock chick" than "country chick"....I'm off to your place right now

Nik said...

Pretty good stuff, here, Jen. I like the ass kickin bit at the end the best though. Did you protect your work though? If not, next thing you know, Britney's making millions off of your 4am creativity.

anna said...

I Love it! I think I'm leaning towards the black belt ending ;)

Anonymous said...

Love the alternate ending!

Anonymous said...

Fred - It's just country. (Jen's mom)

Fred said...

Thanks Jen's mom!

Jen said...

Okay I added the following legal disclaimer to my original post:

THESE WORDS AND LYRICS ARE COPYRIGHTED BY ME, 2008. THAT MEANS YOU CAN'T STEAL THEM.

See? Seal-tight. =-)

Now, as long as Avril Lavigne hasn't done a Google search in the last 48 hours for "a hit new song or poem about a woman who has been dicked over for the past 9 months," I should be good to go.

Renee said...

Hahahahahahaha! But I *do* think you could make money off of this one. Maybe you should try!

Jen said...

LOL I wouldnt even know how to go about doing that. I think it's one of my better poems but definitely not "song worthy." Thanks, though. I'm glad you all like it. Like I said, I was pretty proud. =-) LCB likes it, too. He said it was so good that he almost didn't believe I had written it at first.

Renee said...

I'm LMAO at that because, from the very beginning, this whole thing has reminded me of when that Rob douche said he wrote that one song that I can't remember the name of now that I ended up knowing and finding the lyrics for you online. Not sure why *this* spurred that memory, other than maybe sharing Nikki's fear of someone stealing it and claiming it to be their own :-)

Jen said...

Duh, or perhaps because LCB didn't believe *I* had written it. Which is why you were reminded of a situation in which someone else claimed to have written something they hadn't.

Renee said...

Yeah, but from the time I read it, I was reminded of that situation. Before I knew he didn't believe you'd written it. Blah. Does that make sense? I feel like that whole sentence is gramatically fucked up.