Thursday, April 24, 2008

Don't mess with the bull or you'll get the horns

My normal angels have been little f*@*#&#'s since we returned from last week's Spring Break. Yes, I know that they're just coming off of a vacation and we're in the final stretch to summer--hell, teachers get the itch, too--but we still have 6 weeks to go and all the talking, shouting out, fucking around, etc. is NOT going to happen. I've worked too hard this year to establish control to give it up now.

So finally today, after the 4th day in a row of upteenth warnings, checks, etc., I was so irritated that I kept them in from recess for a class detention. I told them that 30 minutes of silence would just about make up for all the minutes *I* lost in class this week due to their talking, interruptions, etc. I made them clear off their desks and sit there--doing absolutely nothing. (Even doing homework would have been too much of a "reward"--#1 it would make the time go by faster for them and 2) "Homework is for home. You're on MY TIME now.") I sat down at my desk--in complete, blissful silence. "Boring, huh?" I rhetorically asked after a few minutes. I may even have chuckled a bit.

And at the 10 minute mark, I had a brilliant idea.

I casually asked the silent, bored-silly students, "You don't mind if I listen to music, do you?" They, of course, were all, "Yes! Please!!", thinking that it wouldn't be as torturous if they at least had music to listen to. So I went to the Yahoo radio stations, found a good one, and hit play.

It was the Big Band/Swing channel.

And fate was smiling down on me, because they played the DORKIEST songs in the world. (One, my personal favorite, was actually called "Dippy Doodle." Loving her man made her "crazy in the noodle.") After 7 minutes, the kids were just MISERABLE, covering their ears, grimacing and wincing. One kid actually pleaded with me to turn it OFF. "We'd rather sit here in silence!!" he begged.

"Sorry, guys," I said. "I work better with music."

Grinning to myself, I worked diligently for the next 23 minutes. (Frankly, the music was so bad that I was almost punishing myself, too--but seeing their abject misery totally made it worthwhile.)

"I expect this behavior to change tomorrow morning," I said at exactly the 30-minute mark.

Teachers are evil, yes. But at least we're creative about it.


Renee said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! Good one, teach! I almost want to try to find the Dippy Doodle song just so I can hear how lame it is :-)

Nik said...

High five Miss Krzys! Your teaching methods are coming along quite brilliantly. Way to take charge and keep them under control. You definitely deserve something for this awesome idea. I hope they've learned their lesson.

Jen said...

i cant find the song online (duh) or even figure out who sang it, but go to Yahoo Music sometime, click on radio stations (you might need a Yahoo ID though) and in the list of radio stations click on Big Band. you may not get that song but you'll get an idea of what they went through, lol

sparkydiva said...

you are pure evil. can you help me plan revenge on someone some time? i'm not exactly sure who yet, but it sure sounds fun as hell!

Jen said...

It just came to me in a moment of brilliance: it was DIPSY Doodle, not Dippy. Getting ready for work so can't look for the song but here are the lyrics (the tune is what made it truly dorky)

The Dipsy Doodle
Tommy Dorsey

The dipsy doodle is the thing to beware
The dipsy doodle will get in your hair
And if it gets you, it couldn't be worse
The things you say will come out in reverse
Like "You love I and me love you!"
That's the way the dipsy doodle works.
You can't eat, you can't sleep. You go crazy.
You're just a victim of the dipsy doodle
And it's not your mind that's hazy
It's your heart that's at fault - not your noodle.
You better listen and try to be good
And try to do all the things that you should
The dipsy doodle will get you some day
And when it gets you the things you will say
Like the moon jumped over the cow - hey diddle!
That's the way the dipsy doodle works.

Renee said...

Those lyrics are just lovely, aren't they? hahahahaha.