Still not smoking....more or less

It's been 2 weeks since I quit smoking.

In that time, I've had two smoking days (about a week ago,when Dave and I went through our mini-crisis). Once things stabled back out, though, I went right back on the wagon. See, in the old days, I would have used that slip as an excuse to go right back to smoking full-time again (LOL, like it's my job or something....but you know what I mean). But this time, I really do want to quit, so I'm not going to quit quitting. I know I'm going to slip up--quitting is HARD and although I'm strong, sometimes I'm not strong enough.

The hardest things for me, for the rest of my life probably, will be 1) drinking and 2) breakups (though hopefully there won't be too many more of those in my future!). Those two situations always seem to be the ones to completely kill my smoke-free intentions. I, of course, have avoided drinking over the last couple of weeks (not counting wine at Dave's but that doesn't count--I'm talking about bar/social situations), but I have two events coming up that will be tough. Mike's birthday is tomorrow and we're going to Coin Night at Ricochet tomorrow night, so that will be obstacle #1. I'm pretty confident about it, though, because most of the other teachers who will be there are nonsmokers--and while there will be smokers THERE, I'm still feeling pretty good about it. On Saturday, though, Dave and I are going to a friend's of his for a poker/pool party--and it may be harder to resist, as this is an all day (and night) thing. I can be strong for a couple hours--but after, like, 10 hours of drinking? Not so much.

Still, if I do cave and have a cigarette--or even a few--I'm not going to be too hard on myself. Hell, by then it will be almost 3 weeks. I'm going to look at all the days I HAVEN'T smoked in that time, all the puff's I didn't inhale, all the packs I didn't buy--and all the money I saved. It's kind of like being an alcoholic--at least for me. I will always struggle with not smoking. But it's a struggle that isn't going to end this time. I want to be a nonsmoker--and if I can make that claim even 19 days out of 21, I'm still doing pretty damn good.