Another lesson learned

So Dave and I broke up. It was a hell of a 6 weeks, though. Like with Tyson, it helped me see that there are good guys out there--and it also showed me how truly happy and content I can be.

For those who haven't heard, he's been dealing with some fallout from his divorce. He went last night to take care of some stuff, and he said it was in doing so that he realized that he wasn't ready to be in a new relationship when he was still dealing with the financial and emotional ramifications from the first one. He said he loved me but he "didn't expect to find me so soon." And he said, many times, that he didn't want to "ruin another person's life."

When he came over at lunch this afternoon, I cried, and HE cried, and he said he was sorry but that his "head wasn't right." He wished he had met me a month or 2 down the road. I was like, "Well this is stupid, why don't we just take a break while you wrap up this house and money stuff" and he said that THAT was the easy part; the emotional loose-ends were going to take a bit longer to deal with. When he walked out, he said "I know I'll never find you again."

So yeah, I'm crushed, especially because he WAS such a good guy. I should have listened to my instincts about dating someone freshly divorced. I was the first person he really dated post-divorce, but I asked him quite a bit at the beginning if he was SURE he was ready, and he kept saying that he was. And I decided to believe him. (Plus, at the time, I think he meant it, until his ex found out he was happy and dating again and started calling him, crying, telling him what an asshole he was and how badly he had hurt her--even though it was HER who pulled the plug on the marriage. I think that's where all this "I don't want to hurt someone else" thing is coming from. )

So, here's what I learned: one, don't be the first relationship post-divorce--because when he says he's ready, he's probably either lying to you or to himself. Two, if there's still drama between two people, then it's not truly "over"--at least not where it counts. And three, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.