Remedial sex ed.

Last night was the big Pure Romance party at my house. Due to a rash of last-minute cancellations and no-shows, it turned out to be not-so-big--but my closest friends (except for Renee, of course) were there, and we still had a really good time.

Out of respect to my friends and their privacy, however, I have decided not to post any pictures from the evening. Okay, fine: actually, the batteries in my digital camera died early on in the festivities. I'll try to provide a recap for you, though.

Waiting for Anna. And waiting...and waiting some more....







At the time this picture was taken, I had already had a few drinks. I was practicing my bar-tending skills as I waited for my guests to arrive. I had plenty of time to practice, as Anna got lost on the way and ended up in South Haven.

The consultant, Amanda, arrived early to set up. The first half of the evening was lotions and creams; the second half consisted of the toy demonstrations. Below is a picture of her display table for the first part of the presentation.

Since my camera died before we got to the 2nd half, you'll have to imagine the display table for the toy portion of the evening. It looked like this, only with vibrators.



Very early into her demonstration, however, it became clear that we were definitely the slow group. "What was the name of that?" and "What does it do again?" were asked several times about virtually every product that was passed around. (The third most-commonly-used phrase was a certain high school friend's "Oh, my"--this was her first such party.)

There were a couple of great one-liners. Amanda was discussing these his-and-her, um, "self-help" books--"a guide to your body"-type manuals. She suggested buying both and swapping books with your partner, so that he has the female's guide and she has his.

"Yeah, but which one do you think is actually going to get read?" Kacey cracked. Amen, sista.

Later, she was showing a "pleasure aid" for men. She then demonstrated how, by inserting a vibrating bullet, it became a toy for her, as well.

Anna perked up. "Suddenly, I'm considerably more interested," she observed.

Remember the picture of the lovely display table? Thanks to the miracles of technology, I am able to bring you this recreation of how it looked to me by the end of the evening.





New to Broken Road: Drunk Vision.








All in all, it was both a fun and, for some, an eye-opening evening. (At least, I HOPE everyone had fun.) Since I was lucky enough to win the $24 pot from the raffle, I gave my mom my hostess credits (the hostess receives a percentage of the evening's sales towards her own order); after all, it WAS her house, she did a lot to help me get ready--AND she placed an obscenely large order. (I'm going to have to spend a LOT of time away from the house. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.)

Maybe I should get back into this again. Teacher by day, "romance consultant" by night?