For Amanda.

Tonight's episode of 20/20 was dedicated to open adoption. It follows a 16-year-old girl as she interviews families, chooses one and signs the papers. We actually see her handing over her son to his new family.

For those of you who don't know, this show hits incredibly close to home. It opens up a wound that, even 11 years later, is still quite raw and, quite honestly, always will be. You don't get "over" something like that; you may move on with your life, but you never forget and you're never okay. Just because it's the right decision doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell.

Here's a link to the "article" version of the show. I think the show does an incredible job of portraying open adoption--the pros and the cons; and, most importantly, it shows the birthmother's side, not just the adoptive parents'. Everyone always has sympathy for what infertile couples go through, those who desperately want a child and, for whatever reason, can't have one. But rarely is the birthmother's situation explored--and, when it is, it's not always in a positive light. ("How can someone give up their baby?") This show really showed the inner turmoil and heartbreak that a birthmother goes through in order to provide her baby with a better life.

I may not have a child, but I am, and will always be, someone's mommy.

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