One of the blogs I've linked to is Naturally Carolicious. I know some of you periodically wander over there, but if you haven't visited recently, go. Go NOW. Carole now has an adorable son, Michael (and I mean TRULY adorable, not "that's a funny-looking baby but we'll lie and give the expected 'Oh, how cute!' response). She writes him monthly "Dear Michael" letters, and the one she just wrote for his fifth month was, so far, my personal favorite. I laughed AND cried--and, more than once, I experienced both in the course of a single sentence.
To give you even MORE motivation to your asses over there (not that my personal say-so shouldn't be enough for you, byaatches), here's a short post that had me in hysterics.
"Overheard while [her husband] reads Michael a book showing baby animals:
That's a panda! P-A-N-D-A.
And that is a zebra! Z-E-B-R-A.
Here is a macaw! M-A... wait a minute? Macaw? What the hell is a macaw? Okay Michael, if you ever see an animal with bright feathers and a beak, you call it a parrot. PARROT. P-A-R-R-O-T.
Let's see what's next. Chimp! Okay, see there again, this is pretty much just a monkey. M-O-N-K-E-Y.
I see a bright future in zoology ahead, don't you?"
Seriously, if I wasn't straight and she wasn't straight and obviously very happily married, I would TOTALLY be in love with her.
Now go, but remember: if she becomes gay and I become gay, I get dibs on her first.