Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Are you my (baby) daddy?

I had the weirdest dream last night, one that I HAD to share with you all. I found out I was pregnant--and that it was twins. And that part was SO real, the pregnancy part. I remember flipping out when the nurse first told me ("I can't even take care of myself, I'm not ready to be a mother!"), I remember telling my family, I remember telling my friends ("Hey, Gang Bang is knocked up! What a surprise!" LOL--actually, that part may very well happen someday, ha ha), I even remember interviewing for the right doctor (my decision was based on who made the best pizza--which, of course, is how ALL dedicated, protective, nurturing moms-to-be choose the person who will deliver their precious children).

When she told me I was pregnant, though, the nurse also informed me that the babies were part Irish. (How she picked up on their ethnicity from a SONOGRAM is beyond me, but go with it--it's a dream, bitches, not CSI.) When I stated that I wasn't Irish, she looked at me as if I was a dullard and stated the obvious: "Well...then their father must be, right?" And that's when it hit me--I didn't KNOW who the dad was. I actually hadn't even thought of him up until that point.

So I began the search for their father. And no, this wasn't a Maury Povich, "who my baby daddy because I've slept with seven men in the last 24 hours so it could be anybody" type of search, either. It was--it's hard to explain--more of a "looking into the future, who will the father of my children be" kind of search. Men would come into the picture and I'd look at them and say "No, it's not you" and then they'd just kind of fade away and I continued on my journey until the next man would appear. (I *thought* I'd found him at one point, but then at the last minute I asked, "Wait, are you Irish?", he shook his head no, I said "Son of a BITCH!" and continued my search. Even in my dreams, I have the mouth of a trucker.)

Finally, right before I woke up, I found him. He stood in front of me and I looked up at him and said "It's you!" He said yes and reached down to take my hand. ('Cuz I, for some reason, was sitting on a step...probably exhausted from my search--or else full from all the pizza, LOL.)

And then I woke up, incredibly pissed off because I never got a look at his face. But at least I found him.

(I'm glad that my biological clock isn't ticking much, or anything.)


anna said...

I've always LOVED your dreams!

Renee said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Your dreams are always so funny, but the way you describe them is even funnier. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I heart you :-)