Saturday, January 09, 2010

My bad, Officer

I just had a TOTAL Jen moment, and I had to share it with you immediately (yes, at 2 am).

So I hung out with a friend tonight, and I was on my way home (stone cold sober...thank God, as you'll see in a moment). As I approached the major intersection leading to my place, I saw cop cars with flashing lights at almost every corner of the intersection. In the right turn lane--where I needed to be--there were 2 bright flashing hot-pink lights in the road, at the top (front? head?) of the lane. I had never seen those before, and I wasn't sure exactly what they were or what they meant. I just figured I wasn't supposed to drive IN the lane--I honestly didn't realize that they meant "don't turn right." So I kind of pulled into the next lane over (which would have been the go-straight lane) and THEN turned right....

...and immediately realized why those lights had been there. There was a major accident and all lanes in that direction were completely closed and blocked off by every type of emergency vehicle known to man--including several more cop cars.

And there was no where for me to back up and/or turn around.


So I'm sitting there, with roughly 10 (no exaggeration) police, fire and rescue vehicles sitting in front of me, and roughly 6 other squad cars behind of which promptly made the "beep-beep" noise with his siren and headed towards me.


He pulled up on my passenger side (since I was in the left lane) and got out of the car. I rolled down my window.

"Ma'am, are you aware that you just completely disregarded two emergency police flares?" he asked, rather irritatedly.

"Oh, is that what those pink flashy lights were?" I asked. (Yes, I actually said "pink flashy lights.") "I'm so sorry. I've never seen those before and didn't know what they were."

"Well, what did you THINK they were there for?" he asked--and he wasn't even rude or mad now, just genuinely curious and a bit dumb-founded.

"I just figured we weren't supposed to drive in that lane," I meekly answered.

"Yes," he replied. "Don't drive in that lane because we didn't want you to go IN THIS DIRECTION."

To which I answered:

"My bad, Officer."

To which I tacked on:

"I'm really, REALLY sorry."

Now mind you, it was a Friday night at 1:30 am, and he never once asked to see my license--or even whether or not I had been drinking. I think it quickly became obvious that I wasn't drunk--just really, really stupid.

"Well," he said. "I don't know what to tell you. We're going to get this cleared up as quickly as possible--it could be 2 minutes, it could be 45."

Just then, one of the fire trucks pulled away, opening up the entrace to a corner plaza.

"Oooh!" I said, helpfully pointing it out. "Could I maybe just pull in where that guy did and just get out of your way?"

(Yes, "that guy.")

He looked at me for a moment before blowing out a big breath of air. "Yeah, whatever," he answered. (LOL. "Whatever.") "Go. And ma'am? The next time you see a whole bunch of police cars and 'pink flashy lights,' you MAY want to pay some attention."

"Yes, sir," I told him. "I'm sorry. Thank you."

By this time, he was already walking away. I distinctly heard a "Jesus Christ."

I very conscientously put on my turn signal, pulled into the far right lane and got the hell out of there.

Lesson learned.


anna said...

Total for real LOLOL!!! Thanks for that laugh - I needed it :) You've got a smile on my face now :) You Are Hillarious!

Renee said...

Hahahahahahaha!!! You are hilarious! I can't BELIEVE he didn't ask for your license or ask if you'd been drinking. Not just because of the sheer dorkiness of the situation, but also because it was 1:30 am on a Friday night. LOLOLOLOLOL! You and I both had total dumbass moments within a 12-hour period :-)

Fred said...

Lucky you. Glad you were sober. I would have most likely been in jail shortly after talking to the officer.