Amanda

So I got to go see Amanda (my daughter) yesterday. It was like most of our other visits--we met at the Muskegon mall and hung out, then went to dinner--except that this time, we brought Paige, Tyler and Savannah. Amanda told me that when Andrea first found out they were coming, she was pretty pissed, but you know what? AMANDA wanted to see them--these are her cousins--and that's the point of an open adoption...so she can know her birth family. The girl is 17 in January and she doesn't know her cousins OR her aunts. Anyway, once we got there, Andrea seemed fine with it. Good thing, too, because I purposely didn't tell them till we were on our way. ;)

The coolest part was seeing Amanda and Paige together. They'd only met once, it was like 6 years ago (Paige barely even remembered it) and neither one of them knew "the truth" yet. Now they both do, and it was so cute to watch them. They kept glancing at each other, clearly trying to look for similarities and scope each other out. Paige especially loved hanging out with Amanda, because Amanda is now a cool high school girl and Paige is a soon-to-be junior high girl. And Amanda just LOVED Paige. For a while, it was just Amanda, Paige and I walking around the mall, going into random stores, etc. I inducted Paige into the Religion of Bath and Body Works, and I bought her her first lip gloss there. It was the first time I've hung out with Paige not as a kid, but as--as corny as this sounds--a young woman. We had a blast. Interesting side note: considering that, DNA-wise, Paige and Amanda are virtually the same person (their mothers are sisters and their fathers are brothers), they really bear NO resemblance to each other--but we discovered that they have a birthmark in the same exact spot on their right arms.

For dinner, we went to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Katey's kids, the sheltered children that they are, had never been to one, and they were just blown away by the notion that you could eat pizza AND nachos AND mac and cheese AND pa-sketti--and keep going back for more!! And when we set them lose on the dessert bar? I think Savannah almost passed out from sheer giddiness. And Tyler, who normally eats like a bird, packed away more than he's ever eaten in his life. Normally, I'd say no to 2 bowls of ice cream AND a piece of cake AND a cupcake--but hell, we had to get our money's worth, right? ;) (Katey was thrilled when we finally got home around 10 and the two youngest ones were bouncing off the walls, LOL....but that's what aunts are for, especially aunts who only come home twice a year.)

We took lots of pics, so I'll probably email those out later. If anyone (like Fred, although I'm pretty sure he doesn't even read my blog anymore, AHEM) would like to see them who isn't normally on my email list, just shoot me an email.

Amanda's a really great girl, and I pray that the rest of her birth family gets the chance to know her soon. Amanda said that Andrea is thinking about letting her come to see us on her own in the somewhat near future--and that, of course, is when she would make her debut. I've been waiting over 16 years; another year or so will be a piece of cake.

Even my kid has given up on me

Her Facebook status message tonight (after we talked on the phone for a while):

"Amanda Seriously thinks shes gonna get married before you are Jen!"

Happy birthday, Amanda!

Today, my daughter turned 16.

I just talked to her for a while. I asked her if she felt any differently, and here was her answer (almost verbatim, because it was so funny that I tried really hard to remember it so I could share it with all of you):

"You know what, it's funny, 'cuz I do kind of feel different--like, older. 'Cuz before, if you're at a dance or something, and you're dancing with a guy, and he asks you how old you are, and you have to say 'I'm 15,' well, that's not that great. But NOW, if he asks me how old I am and I say 'I'm 16,' then now he'll be all like, 'Oh, REALLLLY? That's cool.' And I can be like, 'Yeah.' "

Grad school and my daughter

(No, my daughter isn't old enough for grad school yet. =-) Those are just the two topics in this post.)

First, my daughter: I talked to her late last night on the phone for like an hour. It was really, really cool. Seriously, this is about as good as I could have hoped for things to turn out, as far as our relationship goes. She cracks me up, too. For example:

Her: "I'm gonna marry a Jamaican midget."
Me (understandably): "HUH?"
Her: "Well, I love Jamaican guys because of their accents, and midgets--well, midgets are just freakin' AWESOME--so what's the obvious solution? Marry a Jamaican midget!"

LOL. (She's 14, almost 15.)

Second: I'm going to be going to graduate school for my master's soon. I'm doing this for 3 reasons:
1) I already owe so much in student loans that really, what's another 10K or so? I'll be paying on them the rest of my life anyway.
2) Getting my master's will allow me to boost my paltry teacher's salary to a slightly LESS paltry one. This, in turn, will actually HELP me to pay back my loans more quickly. Either that, or buy new clothes.
3) From the time I was old enough to understand what a master's WAS, I always promised myself that someday I would get one, too. It's my personal goal to achieve at least the same level of education that both my parents did.

I've been researching (I am, after all, the queen of research) both area schools as well as online universities, and I've applied to one of each--Florida Gulf Coast U. here in Ft. Myers and Western Governors U., based out of Salt Lake City. Price, program and reputation were the three main factors that narrowed down my original 6 or so selections.

Both of these schools will cost about the same amount (although I've already applied for a scholarship at the online one and I'm in the process of applying for a grad school tuition waver at FGCU--they're very competitive, though, and with my luck I'll make "too much" to qualify, since I don't have to eat twigs and leaves or whatever the requirements are to qualify for "need-based" scholarships these days. Hell, even with I was making $25K and decided to return to school to be a teacher, I didn't even qualify for need-based LOANS. However, if I could start THIS year, before the new FAFSAs are filed--which means I'd have to go with WGU--I might qualify for slightly more that first term. My 1040 LAST year was even lower than $25K because I had been working at Tutor Time for the first part of the year, until I moved down here and started teaching. My new FAFSA, while still far from Daddy Warbucks-territory, will still be higher than my current one, thereby cutting down AGAIN on any aid I'm qualified for. I can still get loans, of course, but I was hoping for some "free money", too.

I like FGCU because it's a "real" school and it's very well known here in the area; however, I like WGU because you can work at your own pace, however fast or slow that may be, and--best of all--IT'S ALL ONLINE. As many of you know, I keep weird hours, so if I'm up at like 3 am on the weekend, I can "go to class," rather than having to sit in a classroom for 3 hours twice a week or whatever. So I'm actually kind of leaning towards WGU, assuming I can get that scholarship out of them ($1000 a term but it would make a big difference).

So we'll see.

And my day just got even better...

(Back story, for those who may not know: I have a daughter who I gave up for adoption 14 years ago. Although it was an open adoption and I've remained a part of her life, she didn't know who I really was until this past summer.)

I received an e-card from Amanda today.


And here's what she wrote.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!!! This is your first mothers day card from me. Wow is that weird calling you Mom. I love you and hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day. Love You Lots from your Daughter, Amanda

I've been waiting 14 years for this card.