Thursday, July 21, 2005

Boys & Girls

I know it's been a while since I posted because I really feel like this is Jen's blog but I need your insights into this one:

Can straight men and women be friends?

It seems like an easy question, but maybe it's not...

12 comments:

Jen said...

Anna, this is YOUR BLOG too.

I'll post on this when I get home from work later tonight, but I look forward to hearing what others have to say as well.

Fred said...

Yes. The only problem with that friendship would be the significant others of both individuals.

I have two very close female friends that I talk to all the time; it's no problem with The Missus. She also has several close male friends. I don't know if all partners can handle it, though.

I will sometimes see a person who drives away the friends (male or female) of their partner - I wonder why an individual would want to stay with someone like that.

I guess it's not an easy question.

Jen said...

Yeah, what Fred said.

I think it is possible, and when you find a truly platonic friendship with someone of the opposite sex, I think you're very lucky, as it's a hard balace to find--too often, one of the parties involved may start to develop more "romantic" (or maybe even just sexual) feelings for the other person. So if you can find a friend of the opposite sex, with neither party (HONESTLY) wanting more (cuz sometimes one side may deny that there are more-than-friendly feelings there--even deny it to themselves sometimes), then I say that you've found yourself a great friend and you should hold onto that. Friendships with someone of the opposite sex can be very educational and enlightening. It's great to be able to get that other perspective.

Jen said...

PS--Have a great time at your reunion Anna!!

Anonymous said...

Yes they can, some of my closest friends are males. Melissa

Jamie Dawn said...

It HAS been awhile since you posted. Yes, they can be friends in some situations. As a married person, it would be a good idea for your hubby to know about this friendship and be okay with it.

Fred said...

Anna - did you read what you wrote? I had to make a diagram of who's who just so I could figure it out. :) It's complicated!

I'll add one thing to LoB - discussion. I've always believed the best way to avoid conflict is to embrace it. Conflicts grow wider and deeper when everyone tip-toes around something, rather than hit it head on.

So - I would think a conversation is in order.

Jen said...

THANK GOD, Fred. I thought I was the only one who had no idea what Anna just said.

Jen said...

OK, I'm fittin to get deep on yo' asses:

One of the most imporant and valuable lessons i learned from my relationship with Jeff is the ability to trust. Through it all, my trust in him never wavered, not for a second. That was a milestone for Jen and relationships (as I've had a hard time trusting guys, after that trust has been broken many times).

Thomas's (aka Mr Texas) best friend is a woman. They've been best friends for 12 years. He says they've never even THOUGHT of taking it to a different level. Now, assuming that things work out with us, I can either choose to trust him, or I can drive myself (and him) crazy with suspicion and disbelief. Well, I know from first hand experience that that's a shitty way to live. So I choose to trust him. To me, it's as easy as that. (Assuming that the person hasn't given you a reason NOT to trust them, that is.)

Jen said...

LoB, Jeff and I have been broken up for 2 months now. We sitll live together but we're just roommates. There is NOTHING going on there, if you know what I mean. And really, we're getting along pretty good. We make VERY good friends.

As for Mr. T (LOL) coming into the picture...that remains to be seen.

Nik said...

Absolutely, men and women can be friends! Most of my good friends are men and there's nothing more to it than just friends. I have a best girlfriend(Lynda) and a best guy friend (Dan) and it's awesome.

Jen said...

Thanks for the monologue, Renee.

;)